why is he doing this...need advice please?

Question

i have been with my hubby for 7 yrs.we have 2 children together and 1 on the way. im 5 1/2 months pregnant and under tremendous stress!i found him on myspace looking at females the other day when i was sleeping,he closed it really fast and didnt say anything but looked shocked. then i see on his page it says he is single..to add more to this i found his page on adultfriendfinder looking for a discreet relationship..erotic email/phone and fantasies...this is supposed to be the man i love!! i dont know what to do. im pregnant and i feel like i cant deal with this...what would U do (honestly)..is this considered cheating? p.s we have been arguing off and on too because of stress with finances,car is in shop etc.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now...but you're certainly not alone. I went through this same type of ordeal 8 years ago and from my own experience, I had to really sit down and take a hard look at what was going on around me. I know how hard it is to face the cheating aspect - we don't want to believe it could happen to us, but dear heart - when our instincts are screaming at us, and the evidence has been shown to you - then your feelings are generally on target.

First, I would confront his computer use. If he has nothing to hide, then he would show you his "sites" quite openly. Let him know that you are aware of the myspace and the adultfriendfinders - just try your hardest to do it calmly. Flying out of control (like I did) and fighting about it makes him believe that his actions are being justified by your own reaction. I strongly suggest a big deep breath and a "sit down" with hubby - calmly.

Being pregnant and already on an emotional rollercoaster does not make this any easier, but you also need to think of YOU and the baby - and how the stress could affect your health. Ask yourself what it is YOU want to do, how you want to do it - suggest marriage counselling. I've known many women that have take both the counselling roads and the separation roads...and I highly suggest the counselling road first. You can't have a relationship without trust - it's very very hard living in fear of being cheated on without communicating your feelings and having a mediator help you both through this.

There is life after breach of trust - either way you want to go. Just remember, he has to be willing to give it his all, also - not just you. You're not the one on adultfriendfinders.

Hope you're o.k. and hanging in there.

Answer 2

I think that you should start spying on him. Honestly I've recently had the same exact problem that you are saying. So i bout some stuff check it out...spyrecon. It records every single thing on a computer. there is also something else called ....soundsnooper read about that too and these things work in stealth. Good Luck i found out my man was cheating on me and now i'm still deciding whether i'm going to leave him or not but i should cause we have no kids nothing tieing me to him and even if there was i know how i am i know whati'm worth. Good Luck to you hun trust me things things work. spyrecon and soundsnooper

Answer 3

I would say it's cheating.

I think what you should do is let him know that you know what's going on. Tell him you want to work this out. He'll have to gain your trust again. I know the fact that you've got baby on the way is sort of an issue, but you have to let him know. I def. think that you should be upfront and rational. Simply let him know that what he is doing is wrong. Ask him if there's a way you can keep him happy--maybe it's a simple miscommunication in the physical intimacy department.

I'm not saying to compromise to a bad extent and def. don't let him think what he did was okay! If it upsets, you should be able to tell him and let him know how you feel.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I critique poetry, discovering flaws in constitution and layout. Yet, whilst mine are published, i uncover that i've performed the very identical factor. Is this intentional? No, normally its rough to look your possess faults till any individual elements them out to you. It is what actual peers are for, men and women you'll be able to believe to inform you "love it is". However, "All knowledge comes from God" and for this reason it doesn't matter what any individual says, it will have to line up with the Bible. Matthew 7:two-four (New American Standard Bible) For in the best way you pass judgement on, you are going to be judged; and by means of your ordinary of degree, it is going to be measured to you. Why do you seem on the speck that's on your brother's eye, however don't discover the log that's on your possess eye? Or how are you able to say for your brother, 'Let me take the speck from your eye,' and behold, the log is on your possess eye?

Answer 5

You and him need to sit down and have a serious talk. You don't want to be left feeling undesirable and unwanted by your husband at this important time of your life. Tell him what you wrote and tell him how you feel. Sometimes pergnancyt puts alot of stress on men, too.If he doesn't show you how much he loves you and won't listen to you, then find someone who will.

Answer 6

1st uv all ur hubby is under a-lot of stress 2 not making xcuses 4 him,but he may begoing through what I call mans pms.Or he could just be a straight up DAWG,just talk to him,but becareful.YOU don't need the stress

Answer 7

there are no good reason for someone to do this to someone
he love, but you need to let him know that this behavior is
not good. both of you need to get counseling, if he lying to
people about his statis. then you have a problem he. looking
to cheat, if he has not startt sorry to say that, but you have
to deal with this now, you have children and you dont need
this stress from this man.you deserve his respect, and he
'not giving it. time to deal with this.