We were married for 5 years at the time he was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer.It wasn't terminal but we were told the journey to get him better was going to be a very lond one.When I found out I totally lost it and I know it was extremely wrong of me but I left him because I didn't think I could deal with the disease and how it'd affect my life.He didn't have any other family so I did feel very guilty but I didn't feel like I had a choice but to leave him.It's been 2 years and he's in remission.I want a second chance so badly.He treated me like a queen throughout the whole time we've been together and I still love him as much as ever.He won't even look me in the eye let alone consider getting back together.What do I do?
2007-03-24 16:17:05 · 108 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nothing, who do you think you are that you leave him when he needed you the most, now he is doing better you still love him. Wellll, where was this love when he needed you? You runned away so you deserve what he is giving you.
2007-03-24 16:21:01 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 15⤊ 0⤋
I dont think any man would look you in the eye....let alone take you back.......you took a vow that said....."in sickness and in health" You left him because of how it would affect who? YOU. That is so selfish. You left him at the time he needed you the most, when he needed support, encouragement, love, a shoulder to cry on and just someone to hold him when he felt so bad after his chemo treatments......and you want him to take you back. I believe that you have lost your chance with him. You proved to him that when the tought get going..........you leave.....the cancer can come back and he knows that.....so all he knows is that you will leave again when and if the cancer does return. You have proven to him that you are shallow and cannot be trusted. Do him a favor, and give him a divorce so that he can find someone who does not care how it will make them look because he has cancer.
2007-03-24 16:34:29 · answer #2 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure if you know this but you are deserter, selfish, inconsiderate, low down, and most of all heartless. I say you may not knowit or not cause you left your HUSBAND when diagnosed with Cancer....How do you do that??? You think you love him, but you have no meaning of the word.You say he treated you like a queen, I think you just loved the way he treated you, since it was like a queen. You better believe he remembers how he treated you and was blown away at how you could just walk away like that. I see why he wont look at you, let alone have a relationship with you, How can you call yourself his wife?, or even better, him your husband? You are a piece of work, YOU WOULD HAVE DONE BETTER AT FAILING AS BEING THE ONLY FAMILY HE HAS, THAN DESERTING HIM DURING A VERY VERY TRYING TIME IN HIS LIFE.
You stated "how it would affect your life" youre married, it should have been "our" lives. What I think you should do is apologize, let him know how wrong you were, ask for him to forgive you (very apologetic) and move on, leave him alone, and let him live his life. Maybe, just maybe, you'll learn from this and want "bust a move" next time something like this or something worse happens like this in your next relationship.
You never know, maybe he just needs time, but dont push him, let him come back on his own, if he comes back, you will have to build trust again, I dont think you have it in you, and I dont think he'll be back.
2007-04-01 13:54:12 · answer #3 · answered by mizpeaches518 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having had cancer myself, I wonder why I would want someone like you back after you left when I would have needed my wife the most. My wife was the one thing I had in my life that made me get through the 6 months of weekly chemotherapy sessions.
It's been almost 7 years, and I treasure her more than I can say. I've found out since that the anguish she was under and successfully hid from me, was what caused her breakdown. And I was there to get her through her ordeal.
Marriage is a commitment to put the other person's needs and wishes ahead of your own.
Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer, in sickness and in health, Until Death do you part.
2007-03-31 11:25:23 · answer #4 · answered by philcya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for him not looking you in the eye. Bravo for him !!!! Your a user and a looser. LOL !! He deserve's better and at least he is smart enough not to take you back. Wow, what a B**** . That is so wrong and probable the meanist thing I have ever heard. Leave him alone he deserve's better. And what happen's the next time when he get's out of remission. What State will you be in then, not the one he would be in I would bet. At least he's not stupid enough to let you use him.
Sorry honey but what you did was really NASTY.
2007-04-01 08:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby
What are you trying to pull here? You say you left him because he had cancer and you were too selfish to stand by him when he needed you the most. And now you are upset that he doesnt want you anymore now that he is doing better.
You madam are full of ****!!! And I mean that in a nice way but in a way to let you know your **** stinks and it stinks bad. Sounds like to me now that he isnt about to kick the bucket you want some money.
Stop trying to play games with this man's head. Better yet who have you been screwing this whole time. I know it was someone else and you thought that **** was going to work out and it didnt. Stop lying to us all on the board, you were feeling sorry for yourself after you found out about the cancer and some man came along and you went buck ass wild and let that fool convince you to leave your husband who really needed you and hadnt done **** wrong to you.
You ought to be ashamed of your damn self. Idiot, the grass is never greener on the other side fool!!! If I were him I would'nt want your weak ass back either. I will honestly tell you what your husband thinks of this situation. He thinks about taking you back sometimes because he misses you but then he thinks about how worthless you are in a time of crisis and then he gets angry all over again. Then again would you only want someone who is only good for a screw and not for important ****. NO you wouldnt, and if the shoe was on the other foot you would be on this board saying how much of a loser he was for the same **** and you would'nt want him back either.
On behalf of your spouse I think you ought to tell him the truth about your affair that you had on him and tell him the real reason that you left. Stop lying to yourself, you are 100% guilty and you really need to leave that man alone and let him have someone who can be there for him.
2007-03-30 21:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by Ebony H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it all you left because "you didn't know how it would affect YOUR LIFE"". Well what about his life , not only was he told he had cancer, but his wife left him and his whole world feel apart. Now that he has come through the cancer and is trying to rebuild his life, you want back in? I don't blame him for not looking at you. If you truly love someone, you stay when times are trying, you don't put your head between your legs and haul ass. You need to go own with your life and let him find someone who will look out for his best interest instead of there own. Sorry about your luck. Feel worse for him.
2007-03-31 04:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by mssgtmidnight1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't look you in the eye either!! How could you even expect him to have anything to do with you when you let him down at a time that he needed you the most. I have no family and I rely on my husband to be there for me no matter what I would do the same for him. If you really loved him you would have been there to help him get through his cancer. I would leave him alone. He over came one battle he does not need you pestering him.
2007-04-01 11:11:26 · answer #8 · answered by wesleyann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept that you were a bad person. Take his rejection as the normal reaction of a vulnerable person who had to deal with a bad person. Don't expect anything. Live with the consequences. He may have a recurrence of his cancer. I hope he did find support from someone in his time of need and doesn't forget that you were out the door while he was at death's door! Why would anyone in their right mind gamble that the second time around, next bout with cancer, you will do anything different. Realize your limitations - you can't do what you couldn't do. Or you would have done it.
2007-03-29 19:12:18 · answer #9 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sympathy for you here. You let him down when he needed you the most why would he want you now? Just think about if you were the one to get sick. How would you have felt if he walked out on you? He's been through too much to go back to a selfish person. How does he know that if the cancer returns you won't bail out again? Maybe you won't take your next man for granted.
2007-03-24 16:44:12 · answer #10 · answered by cindya621 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left this man when he needed you the most. You allowed him to go through this all by his self. All because you was afraid of how it would effect your life What about him, he was the one with the disease. You say you didn't have a choice yes you did. You stood before god and vowed to love this man in sickness and health. How is he ever supposed to trust you. Why should he believe that if he got sick again you would stay. You say this man treated you like a queen and in turn you treated him like a peasant. What you should do is leave him alone and let him find someone who will truly love him and stand by their vows. something you failed to do.
2007-04-01 13:36:20 · answer #11 · answered by maebklyn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋