how do I choose between my husband and my boyfriend? they both love me and I love them.?

Answer 1

I think a cage wrestling match to the death would solve that problem

and then you should jump off a bridge

Answer 2

You choose your husband lady! Come on now... get out of the childish mindset you're in and do what you promised to do! Honor your vows. You know better than this! Good grief! Why do people bring this on themselves? How long has this been going on? Everything is perspective! Let go of the boyfriend and start thinking right about your husband. Maybe counceling would help you and your husband too. There are obviously issues between the 2 of you that you can't work out alone. I wish you the best of luck. It sucks to be you but it really sucks to be your husband. You walked down an isle! Do what you know is right!

PS the person above said that you were a horrible person. You are not a horrible person. You've made a mistake and gone down a very destructive wrong path that is hurting you and people around you. You can fix this! You are not stuck. If the boyfriend really loved you as much as he thinks he does... he would NEVER have told you his feelings while you were married! However, if there is abuse involved in your marriage... this is a WHOLE NEW BALLGAME. THen you really have to go talk to a therapist or a preacher.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, husbands are not 'pets' that you keep around just for comfort's sake. If you loved your husband you wouldn't have a boyfriend - he would *be* your boyfriend.

If you love him at all, either break things off with the boyfriend - forever - and work hard on saving your marriage (NEVER tell your husband about the boyfriend EVER if you want to save the marriage), or be honest with your husband about your affair and get ready to end the marriage.

Your husband doesn't deserve to be hurt like this just because you don't seem to know your feelings. I feel very badly for him and hope that he eventually ends up with a good woman. I also hope you turn out to be that good woman by making a real change or at least do him the favor of showing him who you really are and letting him move on.

Man I hope there aren't any kids involved in this craziness.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Okay, my take... Forget about the boyfriend-it will never work in the long run. Think about it. How can you really trust a man to be true to you when he is dating a married woman! What does that say about his morals and character? For that matter, how could he ever trust you-a woman who cheats on her husband? Could he seriously expect you to be any more faithful to him than you are to the man you married? So, the boyfriend is out.

You obviously love your husband (or at least need him for security) or you would not have asked the question.

While you are having sex with your boyfriend, you are becoming closer and closer emotionally. I can pretty much gurantee that he is not having the same effect. Sexual intimacy doesn't affect men the same way. Even if he thinks he is-that lustful, "can't get enough of each other" feeling wears of after about a year to 18 months.

So, I say, dump the boyfriend and do your level best to work things out with your husband. Whatever you do, keep your past affair a secret and hope he never finds out!

Answer 5

I have been in your situation before and I can tell you that having a boyfriend is wrong. It is something that you feel is wonderful and does not hurt anyone, but the truth of the matter is that if this comes to be known you will have hurt people that you will not even know would be bothered by it. I hurt my children to the point of almost loosing them. I was shocked at how much my husband was hurt. This is a sin and you made a promise that you would love him and care for him until one of you died. You need to regroup and rememberyour promise. If you are having a problem about leaving your boyfriend,remember this, if he was willing to cheat with you he will be willing to cheat with some other girl also. Stick with your husband, he is obviously a good man , since you still love him and care for him. He is the best choice, because he is the one that has stood by your side and supported you and tried to make a good home for you. Love like your husbands is a love that most girls only dream of. I know, because I have walked in your shoes, and I had a boyfriend that bought me a one and a half ct. diamond ring, and he had a trip to the Caymon Islands, Hawaii, and Australia, for me if I would run away with him. I could not do it, because I still loved my husband and my husband loved me and he did not deserve that from his wife. I went to him and told him the truth and asked for his forgiveness and it took a while, but we made it and now we are better than any couple out there. Our love is something that all of our friends only wish that they could have. I guess once you face the fact of loosing someone that you love very much, you learn to appreciate them and value them as a person. I think that you need to stay with your husband and you may not want to tell him about your sin, but you need to be a loyal wife to him the rest of your lives. He deserves that. He does not deserve to be hurt by your selfish behavior. I know because I was once the selfish person. Good Luck , and I hope that you make the correct decission.

Answer 6

I don't think anyone can answer this question because no one here knows any of the back story. Do both know that the other exists? If they don't, they need to. You can't have a healthy relationship with either if you have/are decieving either one.

Next you need to figure out why you have a boyfriend when you have a husband. What led to this and could it be resolved if you decided to stay with your husband?

And lastly, would your husband keep you? Are you willing to put in 200% effort in this relationship and gaining your husband's trust back? It will take a lot of work but there must be a reason you married the man, correct?

Answer 7

You need some time alone where you can think clearly about both of them. Who will you have a better life with? Who will you still be able to be friends with even after the excitement of being with them is gone? The things that may annoy you about your husband, is it possible your boyfriend does them too, but you don't see them because you don't live together. Think about how you felt when you started dating your husband, you probably forgave his little idiosyncracies, but now they grate on your nerves. Well, the boyfriend has those too. I have no idea who you should choose, but you need to sit yourself down and really go over why you are with each one and who you will be happiest with in the long run.

Answer 8

the fact that you asking this mean the husband has already lost. But for what it is worth so has the boyfriend since you will replace him just like you did the husband.
You need to grow up figure out your life. Not start any new love relationships for at least a year. A spend that time learing to be a better person. SO that next time you make a commitment you will have the self control to follow through on it. This sounds like a poisonous situation for everyone and you are the poision apple.
You should not go through your life using people to fill your selfish needs.

Answer 9

Wow...are you really asking that? You couldn't possibly love either of them let alone both of them. You are a married woman...do you remember saying your vows? I'd say you have a lot bigger issue to deal with than how to choose between your HUSBAND and your boyfriend. However, if you must choose, I'd go with the boyfriend....your husband is likely cheating on you too.

Answer 10

If you choose the boyfriend, you'll have neither very soon. Also if you choose the husband it would save you a lot of legal bills when he sues you for everything you have. Not smart to have both. Choose the husband.

Answer 11

I have faced this situation. I was lucky that there was no children involved. I chose the boyfriend because the husband was abusive mentally and very controlling. I married him when I was young and thought that I knew everything. I don't regret the choice I made. That boyfriend is now my 2nd husband and we've been married for 15 years now. Good Luck!