me and hubby been together almost 6 yrs.(married almost 5) and I just can't get aroused and I tried talking to him, but he does not seem to understand. I don't even know what is wrong with me. I love him and he is well endowed and a good lover, but I just can't get turned on. I even got some of that ky lotion with warming effects, but still nothing. This has been going on for about I guess 6 months and we are both unhappy and I am afraid he will stray if I don't get in the mood more often.Or worse, leave me. I can't think of anything else to try. I have even tried movies(know what I mean :) but still nothing gets me to the point. I am just flatout not interested.
2007-03-24 15:44:34 · 9 answers · asked by beth_n_danny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm going through the same thing and for me its stress to many other things on my mind..I want to get happy in bed but that's the last thing on my mind once it comes down to it..have your man do something so great that it will knock your socks off..or yes it could be something that a doctor should address.
But if your having the littlest problem that might be it. I'm gonna start a new job and move and he bugs me about having a baby and man my life is all changing so fast that my heads going 100miles a min,,,,,,
Woman are all diff but the same....so just think about it...and figure whats really going on..and talk to him about it so your not also stressing on him leaving or cheating....
Good luck
Lost in bed
2007-03-24 16:01:48 · answer #1 · answered by JustAgirL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just watched a movie called, "The Oh in Ohio" about a couple whose marriage fell apart because the wife couldn't achieve orgasm. I know this sounds really stupid, but you should rent it. You might find something in it to help you along.
Are you on birth control? If so, you may need a lower dose. It's been known to lower the sex drive of some women.
Have you tried toys? You said you tried KY & movies, but toys (the vibrating kind) might help you DIRECTLY.
Remember that it's going to be next to impossible for your husband to understand what you're going through. He's pretty much turned on 24 hours a day by definition, so when you say you CAN'T get aroused, he doesn't understand.
I would also recommend seeing a doctor. There may be some sort of medical reason. Best wishes!!
2007-03-24 23:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go see a doctor quite yet. There are lots of things that can contribute to your problem. Stress is a major one. If you have kids, that's a HUGE reason! When you finally settle down at night to relax (whether you have kids or not) and your mind is on other things like bills, an argument you two might've had, etc. sex is the last thing you're thinking about. Give it more time and try to get rid of some of the stress in your life. If that doesn't help, maybe going to counseling would be a good idea (whether it's by yourself or with your hubby).
2007-03-24 22:56:56 · answer #3 · answered by sneaky squirrel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start out by gently massaging and touching your genital areas. Wear some sexy bra, turn on candles, put bubbles in tub, sex toys, masturbate, and have fun. This should get you both to liking and getting the feeling. If you want put some whipped cream or dessert on your bodies and lick it off. If you start to play like this it will eventuall become a cycle. Kiss-->Play-->Orgasm-->Sex-> Rest.
2007-03-24 22:52:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak with a doctor there could be something wrong medically! I'll pray for your marriage. Also let your husband know how you feel and ask him to fight with you. Until then just let him get off!
2007-03-24 22:49:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to go see a doctor. You could have a medical issue that is causing this! There is medication that can help! Good luck
2007-03-24 22:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you tried toys? and using them to get you "started"?
have you tried talking about your fantasies, and acting them out? you've said you talked to him, but was it just about your lack of interest? you should really fill him in on how to get you going, don't hold back, don't be embaressed. he's your husband. how about going away some where, is the sex better then? sometimes you need to break away from routine.
2007-03-24 23:50:41 · answer #7 · answered by Kaja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a physician.
2007-03-24 22:54:25 · answer #8 · answered by endlessknowledge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should see a sex therapist or at least your doctor. maybe you're depressed and need medication?
2007-03-24 22:47:58 · answer #9 · answered by rt1290 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋