Question for women who are married or in a long term relationship?

Question

Does your boyfriend/husband treat you like you are the most important and beautiful women in the world? My boyfriend does not. The closest I get to a compliment form him is when I ask if he thinks I'm pretty, he replies 'yes.' And he always leaves me home alone to go play poker with his friends. It didn't bother me when it was only Friday nights, but now it is like Tues. Fri. Sat. night. We have been together for 2 and 1/2 years, and talk about getting married. Is this what I have to look forward to in marraige? I feel so lonely, and unimportant. We do get along well. But I just don't feel like he treats me like the women he wants to marry. What is your marriage/relationship like?

I like to play poker. But I don't like to play poker with his friends. They are all 30 year old bachelors who drink and smoke weed. I really don't like them.

Answer 1

I know what you are going thru. It feel like when you are near him, telling him how you feel,but you know that you won't get an answer, so all the while you're dying on the inside, starved for love and attention. I can't tell you what goes on in a man head, but I do know if you treated him the same way, he would say you are cheating. You at times would melt if he would just run his fingers down your back to look at you and give you a sincere smile. To make love to you the way he use to with feeling and not just to get off. A conversation with more than yes, no while he look at everything except your eyes. Wanting to cry because you are so lonely, while he is sitting there with you and yet he can jump up and spend time with people that was unimportant when you first meet. At times you sit and dream about the day you and he get married, but then frown at the possibility that if you marry him, you'll be alone for the rest of your life. What I do is I wait until he want to be intimate and as I'm lying on his stomach I ask him questions. Maybe just 2 to carry the conversation on. Tell him how you feel lonely and unimportant. Oh and what he is doing now, is what he will be doing when you marry him.

Answer 2

It's not going to get better when you're married with this guy. You need to have a serious talk with him and tell him how you're feeling. If he's not willing to change, then you need to move on before you invest even more time into a useless relationship. Definitely be open and honest with him and try to work it out first.

My marriage has its problems, but for the most part, it's great. My husband DOES make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world (both inside and out), and he does this without me ever having to prompt him. We spend more time together than most couples probably do, but we both recognize the need to do things on our own. Three nights a week to play poker seems a bit much. Is money exchanging hands each time?

Answer 3

One advantage you have is that you are not married yet. Look at the picture now, so you can see what you want and dream on this life. There can be better men for you out there.

Pocker is an addiction, and i am a bit concernted he is going now on Tuesdays as well...

They say three reasons not to marry a man:

1) Womaniser
2) Gambler
3) Alcoholic

Their temptation will never end, and the only thing that will end is your life.

Think wisely, you don't deserve to be left in that room all day and night. If i were you, i'd make a new plan myself those nights he goes out. Let's see how he'll feel then! He'll croll back to your knees! Do you know if on this pocker nights there isn't any naked women dancing for all the men??

Answer 4

There will always be a good/bad to a relationship. Tell him how you feel, and see if he makes a change. ((maybe you can go with him...b/c poker is kinda fun, so I see why he does it!)) but if nothing changes...then I would probably be open to some other options. And I can tell you that If your having this problem now, after getting married...it will only get worst! TRUST ME! Because when ur married...the man feels like they can be alot more relaxed and laid back...they get even more comfortable. Almost like there job is done...they got us! (in so many words...cut and dry!) Honestly...i say...if he's not cheating and he makes you happy, then work it out. Even if he only makes u happy Mon Wed Thrus and Sun! Thats still more than half! look at the bright side to things!

Answer 5

Do you ever think about talking to him about how you feel maybe make a night or two that you both can go out and be together and see if the flames still there before you go get married...
not ever ones marriage is a fairy tale but you should feel loved and fell like he does love you and want you...do you really love him and want to be with him.. if not take a break and figure it out...
good luck
Lost in Love

Answer 6

There will always be lulls in every relationship. While my DH has always loved me there have been times that he's been more demonstrative about it and times where he's been less. In what you've described I'd be more worried about the poker nights slowly taking over his week than getting compliments. I have friends that go out and play together. Why don't you learn and tag along, at least sometimes.

Answer 7

My love treats me like a queen. He still after 2 years surprises me with little gifts, massages and cooks for me at least twice a week. He does have interests that take him away sometimes tho. I think when people have interests, jobs, friends outside of the relationship the relationship has a stronger chance. The more interests that you both have outside of the relationship the more you have to talk about. Smoking weed and playin cards with the fellows is his way of blowing off steam. You cannot be his guy friends. You can have friends of your own and play cards, or go out for girls night out or whatever. My love and I just left a friend of his house because the friends wife wanted "to do something" in the middle of the Final Four games. The purpose of the gathering was to watch the game but she gets irritated with that. It doesn't help their relationship. Men are from Mars and need to hang with their fellow martians from time to time. We women need to hang out with our girls too from time to time.

Answer 8

Yes my husband sure does treat me like i am the most beautiful woman in the world. He treats me like a queen and spoils me rotten. My husband calls me beautiful and sexy all the time. If you are having doubts about him and this marriage do not marry him and think twice about things as well. If he is not treating you like a woman he wants to marry then slow things way down and definitley do not rush into marriage with him.

Answer 9

My husband is very sweet and attentive. He calls me at work to tell me sweet nothings. He always has. He did, for a time, but other things before me and his son. He would work late, do side jobs, or hang out with his friends. A lot happened. He did change that eventually. We went through a lot of crisis and we were separated. When we were reunited, he agreed that he would have to give those things up and put our marriage first. It was hard to do, but he was willing to do it to save the marriage.

Answer 10

Don't do it! At this point in your relationship you should be happy,content,and secure--marriage is NOT easy under the best of circumstances(how time,money etc. is spent is usually renegotiated after"I do").Take this to heart-I know from experience. It doesn't change/get easier--lonliness can deepen once you realize that youv'e tethered yourself to a man who will never comprehend(or be able to give)the connection you long for.There really are men out there who don't require any mental conditioning in order to connect with their mates. Please don't wonder who they are as a married woman. You shouldn't have to convince a man to cherish you!