Hey ladies.. or guys for that matter.. I've been with my fiancee for 9 years.. well for the past year she has talked about how she doesn't like MySpace or doesn't need one. Well her friend tried to set one up for her today. My fiancee said the only reason she would get one is to be able to keep in touch with her friend, even though they talk every night on the phone.
Anyway, I got real angry and told her I wanted her to delete it. She did delete it , saying she wanted to have it to talk to her friend but didn't want the problems that came with it, such as maybe random guys sending messages, and me getting angry. She said it's not worth risking 9 years for a stupid site.
Anyway, she keeps bringing up that I don't trust her.. I DO trust her but I would rather not see weird and nasty messages sent to her from random guys.
I got completely angry... but if your partner didn't want you to have MySpace. would that be controlling? What would you do?
Thoughts..
2007-03-24 15:35:57 · 15 answers · asked by eric c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's just like yahoo 360. It's just a way for her to relay her thoughts and feelings for the day. She has the option to choose who can read it. There are settings for public veiw or just friends. If all she wants to do is talk to her friend then tell her to set it up that way. Tell her that yahoo 360 is better than my space anyway! Tell her to set one up and add me to it.
2007-03-24 15:47:19 · answer #1 · answered by sneaky squirrel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and 1/2 years, and we both have a myspace. We had problems at first, because our exes tried to contact both of us. We both got angry and jealous. But that was in the VERY beginning of our relationship. Now we don't have any problems with it. Random people don't usually massage you if you don't have provocative pictures up. We both use it to keep in contact with family and friends, and that is it. And we have each others passwords, and let each other check our myspace page. I really don't think you will have a problem. And you should be glad to have someone who would delete it for you. Maybe you should both get your own myspace page. That way you can see what it is all about. It is really just about keeping in contact. If anyone tried to be friends that you don't know, just ignore them. Good Luck. If you still have problems, just forget about myspace all together.
2007-03-24 15:48:48 · answer #2 · answered by Stark 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got a MySpace account so I could keep in better contact with my sister and get in touch with old friends I'd lost contact with. I can honestly say that in the year I've been on there I've only had maybe 3 strangers send me messages. Now, that could be because I make it very clear I'm married and have a child, but I'm not sure. Anyone I talk to on there is either a friend of mine, my husband's, or my sisters. My husband isn't concerned about it at all, and I show him the messages I get from guys hitting on me, he likes it cause it shows other people think I'm hot too. I wouldn't like him to tell me not to have it, but limits are ok, I think.
2007-03-24 15:52:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't like it when people accuse you of being controlling when you ask your spouse/significant other not to do certain things. With relationships comes expectations and compromises. I think your fiance rocks to have deleted it right then and there when she saw how upset you were. That shows that she's loyal to you and to your relationship.
As for your personal scenario, I can tell you that I have a myspace page for the sole purpose of keeping in touch with younger family members. I have my page set on private, so no one but the people on my friends list can view my profile. Your fiance can do the same. That way she can keep in touch with her friend, and you can feel more comfortable knowing she's not on there for anything else. Myspace is stupid for many reasons (just like Yahoo), but it DOES have nice features. It's a new forum to promote new GOOD music.
2007-03-24 16:20:32 · answer #4 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can certainly see where you're coming from. However, you must be able to put the shoe on the other foot. In her eyes she thinks you don't trust her because if you did you would not have dreamed of asking her to not have a my space. The real truth is that my space is probably not the safest way to communicate with her friend....she could always do MSN, AIM, Yahoo, etc.... My Space could be completely innocent but it's really probably not worth the risk and you're right. The way that you presented it to your fiancee obviously was not the best. Sounds more like you demanded that she not have one rather than explain to her why you don't want her to have one. Had you told her your safety concerns she probably would have gladly deleted it. Better luck next time.
2007-03-24 16:14:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit being controlling. And....you say you trust her "but I would rather not see weird and nasty messages sent to her", this tells me you plan on getting on her MySpace account and reading all her messages. No wonder that after 9 years you're not married yet. My partner is an adult, he can have a MySpace account if he so chooses.
2007-03-24 15:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by ksgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, get your own MySpace and be her friend. And set both your pages to private. I've got to say I get just as many messages from girls fishing for friends as I do from guys and I have the same reply for all of them: if I don't know you IRL, you're denied. MySpace does make it easier to maintain a relationship with my far flung family and friends so I'll stay on for that.
2007-03-24 16:01:02 · answer #7 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is in control of myspace. No one can be on her friend list that she doesnt want. she can set her profile to private so only people who know her can contact her. MYSpace is just that..YOUR SPACE and YOU control it. Seems like you dont trust her if you took a moment to sit down and see it can be as open as you want or as private as you want.
I disagree with you getting angry and making her delete it. I talk to my top 24 friends many times in a week ( i have known these people since childhood,every 1 in my top 24 is personally known to me) but I still go to their space and leave them comments and pictures and bulletins..I hate talking on the phone...
2007-03-24 15:48:48 · answer #8 · answered by krazyyybiotchh! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have had myspace and my husband also for about a year now and we dont get into trouble with it, you only get into trouble if you are looking for it.. If you dont trust her to have myspace how are you going to trust her to walk out into the real world? I think it is a little controlling myself and If my husband told me NO he would know where the damn door is..
2007-03-24 15:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..I agree with you Eric. I would not want my b/f to be on myspace too. Tell your fiance to get yahoo messenger to communicate with her friend...and only her friend. I think when a person is putting there pictures on a website they are only asking for problems. If your g/f can't understand your feelings, then tell her that you want a myspace page too and see how she reacts to that.
2007-03-24 15:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by Bella ♥ Italiana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, myspace can be pretty harmless. what she can do is put her profile on private that means that only her friends can see her profile.. i did and noone except my friends message me cos they are the only ones who can see my pics and profile. secondly u can ask her to put up a pic of u and her. maybe u can share her page and u guys can open a joint acct under both ur names.
i know how it feels to be really scared that somethign might happen but guys will always be around u cant avoid it if u suffocate her both u and her will go crazy. make a compromise
2007-03-24 15:48:21 · answer #11 · answered by sena 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋