There is a girl who I was really close to for almost 3 years and I was crazy about her.She knew that and eventually she decided it was best that we don't keep in contact as my feelings were getting in the way of our friendship. I couldn't help the way I felt but I accepted her decision and it ended in a very upsetting way. She always knew how I felt and every now and then gave me the impression she liked me in that way and even said so on the odd ocassion. Anyway as heartbreaking as it was I did as she asked and haven't contacted her since. It's been about 7 months since we last spoke and almost a year since I last saw her. Now she has invited me to be her friend on one of those profile sites. I haven't got the heart to say no, but I am still not over her and by accepting her friendship on this thing might set me back a lot. I know she is with someone else too which doesn't help. I still love her and want her to be happy, but I'm not sure if I can handle being in contact with her again
2007-03-24 15:31:31 · 13 answers · asked by Mr looking for answers 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think, for your own sanity, you should avoid being friends at the moment. This doesn't have to be a permanent thing but you are clearly still pretty raw and by being friends you may just be reopening up wounds that still haven't fully healed yet.
I think the best thing to do would be just to sent her a relaxed email saying thanks for inviting me to be a friend on your profile site but I don't think i am in the right place for that at the moment. However, that is not saying that this will be the situation for ever and i really do appreciate you making the first move like this.
Something like that so that she doesn't feel offended but can understand why you said no.
2007-03-27 06:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by willowbee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds miserable and not a real friendship. Let her go move on and get happy. Actually no one can fully be our friend other than Krishna (also known as Allah, Jehovah, Vishnu, etc. Try letting Krishna be your friend, He won't let you down. For info on Krishna go to harekrishnatemple.c Read Bhagavad Gita As it is By Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada- tells the purpose of life and how to be truly happy and true freindship
2007-03-24 22:38:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She only wants a platonic friendship. If you still feel strongly for her, which it sounds like you do, it will be too painful for you.
Place her in a special place in your heart - for those whom you loved but are not in your life any longer. And reach out for a friendship with women who ARE available.
We all have loved and lost in life. It is a part of life.
2007-03-24 23:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by concernedjean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man you've got the rest of your life ahead of you. So if she's made it clear that theres no future for you in a romantic sense, you could just end up setting yourself up to get hurt. Live a little, theres always new people to meet.
2007-03-24 22:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by Mark F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize this first and foremost this is like 10000000X bigger a deal to you then it was to her to invite you as a friend on her website.......many times people are just so damm selfish they don't even realize the effects the actions or lack thereof have on people......I'm not minimizing your emotions ....but simply putting things into perspective......as many times as we want to believe a certain person may or not be thinking a certain way in regards to our emotions we always set ourselves up for heartache when we find out "they are just not that into us" I know its a hard pill to swallow....but people really are that self- absorbed....that they don't think about it as deeply as you are.....
2007-03-24 22:45:37 · answer #5 · answered by macrominded 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away, and look around, the world is full of interesting girls you could start talking to. That's the best way to move on, by finding someone else.
2007-03-24 23:30:53 · answer #6 · answered by helpfulhannah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your very smart for wanting to protect both yourself and her. having contact with this girl will obviously affect you, you will be reliving your past emotions.. since you still care about her. its not worth going thro that pain again, it doesnt seem like you guys will ever happen. that could make you bitter and you could also start upsetting the two of you. good luck
2007-03-24 22:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer; I can well imagine just how you feel.
You might reply telling her politely that 'you can't do what she'd like you to do, and that you think it very unfair of her to do this to you, knowing just how you feel about her.' Additionally, 'you couldn't do what she would like you to do as your not capable of being objective.' (which I assume is what she wants!).
I'm sorry I can't think of anything likely more helpful than this ...but I can remember how I felt in a similar situation.'
Good luck.
Sash.
2007-03-25 00:07:05 · answer #8 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you should be her friend because it sounds to me that neither one of you got closure from it and before you can fully move on you have to have closure but be aware of what can happened if your not careful Good luck and you never know what might happened.
2007-03-24 22:38:44 · answer #9 · answered by randrnorman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STEER CLEAR LEAVE WELL ALONE MAKE A FRESH START YOU WILL APPRECIATE IT IN THE END
2007-03-24 22:35:21 · answer #10 · answered by TS100N 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋