What can an insecure person do to become secure?

Answer 1

First of all I am not a psychiatrist or Psychologist , health care professional for which I have immense respect, for these men and women help to save lives and greatly increase the quality of life for millions of people every year. Having said that, if you become seriously bothered by these feelings of insecurity to a point where you consider harming yourself or turning to drugs or alcohol to alter your mood, please, please, please seek the help of a mental health care professional. They are discreet, are non-judgmental, and understanding.

OK, as they say let's start at the beginning - when did you first start having these feelings of insecurity and why? In what context do you recall feeling insecure or inadequate or left out? Was this due to being over shadowed in the family at home? Perhaps a new baby sister or brother seemed to suck up all the attention of your parents, and you felt left out? Were you sickly as a child, and kept indoors and not allowed to rough house with the other children because of Asthma or some other ailment? Did you suffer some sexual abuse at an earlier age at which has left you withdrawn and distrustful around people in general ?

Were you brought up by a single parent, (Mother), who was almost Neurotic / paranoid about people being "out to get her "- and by extension - you?, and she ground it into you that the world was was a dangerous place full of perverts, thieves, and all sorts of evil people out there just waiting to take advantage of you?

There has to be a "trigger" or some incident in your past , whether you are aware of it, or can remeber it or not, and I think that the key, (Or at least a good portion of), to confronting and overcoming your insecurity may lie in identifying what that source cause was.

As you consider that, make 4 lists.

1. List of all of the things which you "Hate" about being insecure, what are those things which you miss out on because of your feelings of insecurity or inadequacy? What opportunities have you missed because the thought of actually doing something made you paralized with fear or self doubt, or self loathing, or feeling inadequate?

2. List the things Friends that have stood by you - and who understand that your are doing the best you can, and that you are trying to "fight" this insecurity thing, and will help you in any way they can. They are your cheerleaders.

3. Make a list of the little things which are holding you back right now - that are just plain silly, and that you think you really can overcome with some active support, (baby steps little sister, aim small - miss small, so "baby steps"), these are where you start to "SUCCEED". Success = Security.

4. Make a list of Goals for yourself, "Security Challenges" that you want to accomplish in a week, two weeks, three weeks, and so on. Every Month you have a "Milestone Goal" Each "Goal" becomes a little tougher - and you are the one who decides what the goals are based on, (what your insecurities are). ("And don't you dare say everything! Or I'll say "OK your first goal is to walk naked thru school next Monday". Remember what I said - "Start small - Baby Steps - build on your successes".

What if you fail? Start again! Remember the First List ? Eventually those will be on your goals list, and you will over come those too. Look, sugar, we all have to overcome challenges in our lives, some of us can not walk, some can not see, some can not hear, and some can not think beyond the level of a child, some folks are born cruel and all ugly inside and don't know how to change, while others come into this world smiling and with a twinkle in their eye and spend their life in service to man & God, life is about choices, and using what you brung with you - you make your own destiny in this life - it's called free will. You have a beautiful spirit that is longing to shine - ask your friends to help you let that spirit of yours shine big and bright so that everyone can see the angels in your heart dance. Good luck.

I'm pulling for you.

Answer 2

First off, find what you are insecure about.
It most likely is part of your appearence.
Are you ashamed of your weight, your smile, your skin... etc?
Then try to fix that problem a little bit. Try to get braces, excersize more, go to a dermatologist; you know, whatever fixes the problem. While you're doing that, go to the mirror every day and 10 times say "I am beautiful, or I am a great person."
It sounds dumb, but it does raise your self-esteem, which is whta you need to become a secure person.

Answer 3

Start visualizing oneself as being very secure. Imagine what it would be like and notice how it would feel. One minute of that first thing in the morning and another before going to sleep at night will work wonders within a week. Enjoy the results. Then you can answer this question the next time someone asks it.

Answer 4

Insecurity results from a long bunch of bad experiences often starting when were children. Its hard to erase bad experiences especially because we tend to focus on the negative things that happen to us and gloss over the good things. Or the good stuff bounces off and the bad sticks to us like glue. To feel more secure start holding on to your successes. You'll find you are a lot more successful and able to do a lot more than you think. We are almost never as terrible as we think we are. When I finally realized I was a good as anyone else my confidence started to go up. It will take time but if you focus on your good and not your bad eventually you'll like yourself and others will too.

Answer 5

Exercise!
Lose weight if necessary. But always exercise.
Stand up straight.
Laugh therapy (go into a public rest-room whenever you feel especially insecure and just start laughing to yourself).
Become a perfectionist and take pride in that.
Don't see a psychologist.
Use affirmations... look at yourself in the mirror and repeat positive phrases about yourself over and over... and then write that phrase down on paper 50, 100, 200 times per day.
Be charitable....buy a homeless person a sandwich.

Answer 6

If one could possibly see oneself as others actually see them it would be possible to change I suppose, if it was to prove that you could do that to please others which I think is the place where insecure people are.
If we would not be as concerned about that we would get far more accomplished for ourselves and that alone would serve to position our persona in a more enlightened positive than to appear as we do now., i.,e., insecure.
By just being who we are and concentrating on doing what we have to do each day to exist in our social invironment we would lose our insecurities. Each time we succeed in a particular endeavour we breach another obstacle in our search for being recognized and valued for who we are.
It's when we lose time and energy concentrating on how we are presenting to others is when we lose our perspective and goals and appear insecure.

Answer 7

Insecure people are constantly comparing themselves to other people they perceive as being better. Take a good look at yourself, what can you do that others can't, if you don't have anything then choose something to do that makes you feel special or good about yourself, this will allow you to grow gradually, by setting yourself free from self-critisim.

Answer 8

I agree with the first person realize you deserve to be a validated person and realize you matter and as for gettin your confident s up tell yourself everyday five good thing about yourself and make them different everyday so your not feeling like that all you have going for yourself and start demanding the respect you so dearly deserve. Hope this help and Good luck everyone deserve to respect and treated like a person who means something.

Answer 9

Too deep of a question for me to completely answer, this is.

However, I suggest realizing that other people are merely people, just like yourself. None of us are perfect, and you are a valuable person, just like anyone else. Others may seem like they have everything under control, but everyone has struggles and difficulties. I believe that you are so valuable that Jesus Christ, God the Son, suffered and died for your sake. Have a nice day.

May God bless you.

Answer 10

They have to stay heathy and change certain habbits for this to happen they could of had something happen to them that made them this way so they might need to get help from a family member