I have a three year old son, and the father is around, sometimes. He comes in and out of his life. When I anger him, he disappears. Recently, he has been teaching him obscene comments and remarks. Where babies come from. Teaches him to call me rude names, etc. He does not use common sense when it comes to anything dealing with our son either. For example, he gave him some of his energy drink because "He doesnt tell him no for anything". We have joint custody. He pays child support. All that the visitation states was, 'reasonable time upon reasonable request' which means he thinks he can take him when he pleases. He will literally disappear for months at a time... What should I do? When we went to court the first time, the commisionery basically said that we needed to get along for the sake of the kid and grow up. We're both extremely young, and I am a very responsible parent for being 20. I do everything I can for my son, yet he doesnt even think when he has him. Any ideas?
2007-03-24 14:37:48 · 8 answers · asked by paradisedreams00 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I also wanted to add... He lies through his teeth and gets away with everything at court. He did the first time we were there... and I wouldnt doubt him doing it again. He has some way of charming everyone he speaks to. I feel as though my son is safe with his father, but he doesnt listen to ANY simple rules I give him, and instead does the exact opposite just to anger me...
2007-03-24 14:40:41 · update #1
Okay, I dont know where everyone is getting the impression that I exactly TELL him what to do... but to answer a few questions...
Our three year old, did not ask where babies come from... He simple told him, go home and tell mommy that babies come from vaginas. And laugh really hard. All I told him was, "Please watch what you say around him, please remember he goes to a luthern school, and I dont think they'll appreciate him going around teaching the other kids that along with the swear words." What does he do? He tells me I had better be home within 10 minutes otherwise he's dropping him off regardless of me being there. He didnt want him anymore, he told his son, flat out he didnt want him anymore because I angered him with my comment. I cant deny him seeing his son, because he pays support and he already tried telling me he ewas going to call the cops for denying him. He refused councling also
2007-03-24 14:57:21 · update #2
I suggest you videotape the interaction between father and son. I also suggest that you enroll in therapy, jointly with your son. That will help you deal with the stress of the situation, and also document the father's behavior and effects on the son. Take these to an attorney, and have another custody hearing. Don't do so without an attorney.
2007-03-24 14:43:33 · answer #1 · answered by cyanne2ak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u have the resources u should go ahead and try to get full custody. The sooner the better. We have been dealing with the same type of parent/ joint custody thing for 13 yrs and I can tell you it gets worse the older the kids get. The disappearing act will take a toll on your son after a while. If u don't want to go this route try to suggest a judge order parenting classes. Good Luck :)
2007-03-24 14:46:27 · answer #2 · answered by fishincrzymama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you could both use counselling. Regardless the child has a right to see his father. Yes he deserves two good parents and in a perfect world he would have them. Unfortunately this isn't a perfect world. My neighbors blast their music. We have a war going on. And big shock; imperfect parents are trying to figure out how to raise their kids. I know it isn't fair. Hey if life was fair we would all be able to afford to take our kids to disney land. All I can say is love your child the best you can. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes and forgive the father too. Maybe try talking to the man and listening to what he has to say instead of pissing him off. Oh and you might try looking for a book called Bounderies.
2007-03-24 14:54:02 · answer #3 · answered by technomagi2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move somewhere else in the state, far enough away to make it inconvenient for him to come for his visits, if he's as big of an idiot as he appears he won't go out of his way... Like even from Madison to Milwaukee it far enough away that he'd really need to coordinate visitation.
2007-03-24 14:42:17 · answer #4 · answered by i_love_my_mp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is wrong with teaching a child where babies come from?
He's teaching your kid to call you names because he obviously doesn't like you, but that's no excuse to teach the child wrong.
What is wrong with giving a child an energy drink?
What is wrong with the father spending time with HIS child when he pleases?
What does he lie about?
He probably does the exact opposite of what you say because he probably doesn't like you much.
You're an idiot, your ex is an idiot, and that's what you will teach your child to be. BOTH YOU AND HIM will teach your child to be as retarded as you and your ex are. You're both wrong.
2007-03-24 14:52:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You love your son right. Well if you love him you should do whats best for him. And if thats not letting him be with his dad then thats fine. Try asking your son what he wants. kids are smarter than you think.
2007-03-24 14:42:02 · answer #6 · answered by s_texasboy06 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take him to court again and get a court order for him to get counseling
he can't just come and go as he pleases
if my dad did that i wouldn't give a dump if he came and wanted to see me or not
if u ask me he doesn't need to see his father
2007-03-24 15:01:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
encourage him to get counseling,, go as a couple,, your son needs two good parents,,, put the needs of your child FIRST.
2007-03-24 14:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋