come on how many friend could you have if a guy likes you in that way he will never stop liking you and keeping him around seams cruel..and it is cruel..I have been there..tell the truth its b.s isnt...
2007-03-24 14:22:43 · 16 answers · asked by xjim7 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
"Let's be friends" = "Your'e never getting in my pants"
2007-03-24 14:27:27 · answer #1 · answered by Sara Jane 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
No I don't think so. It is far safer to get to know another person as a friend and hopefully see their true colors then to make a big mistake and have to live with it for the rest of your life. Decisions have consequences unfortunately. However, I would rather date a person that I have known for a period of time to see what kind of person they are. Alot of people have a tendency to be so nice when you first meet them. However, when you are attached to them or have made a promise to be with them they typically change as if an alien has kidnapped them. You could call it a safety net I guess. It protects me from having to deal with emotional and physical harm because of ignorance. Ignorance is bliss, but the consequences are not quite blissful.
2007-03-24 21:52:57 · answer #2 · answered by Don't Know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if the relationship starts out as "friends" then there's nothing wrong with it. However, after dating ... saying "lets just be friends", is just another way of saying "I want you around, but I don't want you as a girlfriend/boyfriend."
Its not cruel if the girl does have shady intentions but it is if she keeping you on a string.
I don't know the situation, but what I can suggest is to not let the girl use you.
2007-03-24 21:35:43 · answer #3 · answered by rosie768 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its cruel. It leaves the girl having a false sense of hope thinking that you'll get back together.
Its so b.s. If you don't want to be with me, then just say so.
You know what else is b.s is "I think we should take a break."
2007-03-24 21:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa F 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Xjim, why do you blame women for "keeping you around"? Do you not have the power to leave? How about taking personal responsibility for your own self instead of expecting the woman to do it?
Personally, if I know a man likes me romanticaly but I don't feel the same, I'll tell him the truth. If he wishes to "stick around" I'll tell him that he needs to drop any and all romantic notions he has about me. If he feels he's not able to do that then I'll break all ties with him with speed and clarity.
So again, stop blaming women for the position that you put yourself in. You made the choice about where to place yourself, not her. It's your life and you decide where you want to be.
2007-03-24 21:50:31 · answer #5 · answered by Rain 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's always heartbreaking for one person or the other. If the people were friends for a long time before the intimate relationship then it's not b.s., otherwise eventually you'll loose contact or end up not caring.
2007-03-24 21:26:14 · answer #6 · answered by J B 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No... it's not BS. Sometimes, people like someone because they build them up to be something they're not. By being friends with them you give yourself the opportunity to see them as they really are. And you give them the opportunity to see you as you really are. Then, maybe it turns out that once the 'pursuit' is off, they realise that you're amazing and want you. Or you realise that they are definately not the one for you.
If you think that it's cruel to be kept around as a friend, then stop hanging out with her. It's your choice to stay in someone's life. You can't blame the 'cruelty' on someone else, if you're the one that keeps perpetuating it.
I have plenty of guy friends that started out wanting to date me... and now we're the best of friends. I go with them to scout for girls and they screen the guys for me. It's mutually beneficial.. lol
2007-03-24 21:31:10 · answer #7 · answered by ceaz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on where the person who "wants to be friends" is in his/her life.
I have been in periods of my life where I met the most fantastic guy, but for whatever reason I wasn't ready to date or didn't have the emotional energy to be in a relationship at that time. Too bad for me--I lose a valuable chance to be with a great guy, and too bad for him, he's ready for something I am not. It doesn't mean I am trying to hurt or deceive him, though.
Good luck
2007-03-25 00:23:18 · answer #8 · answered by Croa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever let it get to the point where she rejects you and wants to just be friends.
If you want her and lust for her and want to love her, do not let her see the real you. The way to do this is to put on an act since women do not want real guys but cute charming butt clowns. Act like an exciting but irresponsible bad boy. That usually gets them interested and wet.
It is either this, or failure. You have no choice.
Fair warning, I learned this the hard way.
2007-03-24 23:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by brightstar65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's even a few terms to describe it. When she just wants to have you around so she can cry on your shoulder (but with no bennies), you have become an "Intellectual Whore" and she is your "Intellectual Pimp" :-)) You're the "whore" becae you'll do anything for her for that slim chance of getting in her pants--and she knows it. I've been there...
2007-03-24 22:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, women are the worst about being blunt. If you invite a woman to something she won't just say she doesn't want to come, she will come up with an excuse.
2007-03-24 21:31:17 · answer #11 · answered by Chuckwalla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋