I got married and divorced and am now quite happy on my own. My family and my friends think I should get back on the horse so to speak but I'm not sure I want to take the risk again. I've already broken with traditions once by getting divorced as it is a HUGE no no where I come from and, more importantly, I'm not sure my sanity could take a second battering with misery. So do I play it safe and stay happy but alone or do I risk my happiness and give the whole relationship thing another go?
2007-03-24 14:16:16 · 15 answers · asked by zbak 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been divorced for four years and am not into the whole casual dating thing.
2007-03-24 15:06:04 · update #1
I have asked myself these same questions. I was married 20 years. I have concluded that I will not worry about it. I will enjoy life, take it day to day and grab on to all the fun I can.
I try to live my life to the fullest and just can't wait to see what God puts in my path next.
I'm with you, a serious relationship scares me to death! This may sound weird to you but I'm so afraid if it ever happened, that it would just get dull.
I wouldn't recommend to play it safe and not explore but there is NOTHING wrong with enjoying just where you are in your life.
Good luck and I wish for you many fun times in the days to come. :)
2007-03-24 14:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by no cutesy name : ) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy, then stay happy, if you are trying to be happy alone, then not a good thing. Food has a way of entering your life in a "big" way. Perhaps you married for the wrong reasons the first time. I firmly believe that there is a soul mate for everyone, just don't get into a hurry to find one. You actually do know when it is right. Remember that lust only lasts so long, so find a really good friend and fall in love through mutual respect and interests, but enought difference so life doesn't get boring. You need to protect who you are, so if they don't like your separate fun, then don't hook up. You can't change a person later hoping they will like what you like. Get into a good fight before marriage and see how it is handled, unless you luck out and find someone who is just perfect. But remember, perfection is death, so that would scare me off right there. You can be happy with someone, but it is a give and take situation, one should not be just the giver, that gets old after awhile. It is like the last good cookie that never gets eaten cause the other one saves it for them. good luck
2007-03-24 21:26:36 · answer #2 · answered by curious1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the answer to that.I'm going through the same thing.I have been divorced 6 years now and so far I haven't found anyone that is marriage worthy.Seems that the ladies I meet are out for a couple of things only.Money and a free ride or sex and someone to cater to their needs. So far I have found it's much easier being lonely and alone instead of together and miserable.Everyone that knows me keeps telling me all the time that I'm to young to be alone.They also try to fix me up with different woman they know.It has become annoying when my friends come over or invite me over for supper only to find someone there they want me to meet. Just curious,where are you at.
2007-03-24 22:00:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not do this right now until you have time to heal and get past the pain of the past abuse and things. If you ever do decide to date again take your time and take things slow. do not rush into anything and do not push yourself. take time for you.. I feel you should be alone until you are emotionally and mentally ready to ever date again for that matter. If i were you I would stay on my own for a while... I also suggest you seek counseling and help for what you have been through as well. Good luck to you and here comes lots of hugs your way. As long as you are happy being alone this is fine and you should be able to be and live alone if you choose to do so. This is your choice and life and no one can live your life for you except you! Do what is best for you and your life and you will be happy and secure for doing it. Do what you feel is right to do in your life.
2007-03-24 21:22:22 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever makes you happy. I thought I'd be a spinster with 50 cats and 1 dog.. (poor dog). But got married. Go figure.
I will never get married again, either! If anything happens to this one, I'll die a spinster with 50 cats and 1 dog... As for dating, I think its a lot of stress. Take a vacation by yourself. A cruise maybe. Enjoy yourself. Don't think so hard about it.
2007-03-24 21:22:10 · answer #5 · answered by nokhada5 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how long you've been divorced, but you need to become comfortable with who you are before you even think about dating. Take a minimum of at least a year to rediscover yourself (likes/dislikes/ passions, etc). Enjoy the chance to do what you want to do and not have to answer to another.
2007-03-24 21:22:22 · answer #6 · answered by claraskids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know someone you're interested in that is a great person, you could try going out w/ them and seeing what happens. If not, just live your life and maybe the right person will show up soon. Be patient and just make sure you're happy.
2007-03-24 21:20:05 · answer #7 · answered by 77684 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOTHING Not other people's opinions and definitely not tradition... Nothing is more important than your peace of mind.
Who knows, you may remarry one day but if you feel that what you need to do now is spend time alone then that is what you should do.
Travel. Go back to school do whatever you want to spend your time on. After all, it is YOUR time.
2007-03-24 21:22:36 · answer #8 · answered by NolaD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy then stay happy.
Don't go looking for someone that you could put up with.
If the right person comes along you will know and you probably won't be able to stop yourself anyway.
Good luck
2007-03-24 21:23:05 · answer #9 · answered by kevin_4508 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what makes you happy, not what your family and friends want or makes them happy. It is you who has to live with the decision you make in the end.
2007-03-24 21:29:01 · answer #10 · answered by cmptrtechswife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋