Could I get my son's last name changed even if his father doesn't want me to?

Question

I'll be getting married soon, and my son (who I have custody of) will be the only member of the household who doesn't share the last name (my fiance has a daughter who has a last name, and any children we have together will have our last name as well). I always hated growing up with a different last name than my mother, but it was easier on me because my brother had the same last name as I did. I don't want my son to feel left out, but I know my son's father will fight me on this, as my son is a jr. I was thinking volunteering to blend the last names (for example, his name being changed from michael smith to michael knowles-smith, knowles being the last name everyone in our house would have). Does anyone have any experience with this?

I'll be getting married soon, and my son (who I have custody of) will be the only member of the household who doesn't share the last name (my fiance has a daughter who has a last name, and any children we have together will have our last name as well). I always hated growing up with a different last name than my mother, but it was easier on me because my brother had the same last name as I did. I don't want my son to feel left out, but I know my son's father will fight me on this, as my son is a jr. We were never married, if that might help anything. I'll take it to court if I have to, but if it will be pointless I'd rather know now. I was thinking volunteering to blend the last names (for example, his name being changed from michael smith to michael knowles-smith, knowles being the last name everyone in our house would have). Does anyone have any experience with this?

Answer 1

If the surname he holds now is on his birth certificate, and his father is against it being changed, then I dont know if you can change it legally. My daughter was from a previous relationship, but she was always known by the surname I took when I married. When your child starts school.....do you have to produce a birth certificate? When my daughter started school....I just enroled her as the name of my then husband. I am divorced from him now, but my daughter still goes by his surname....its what she is used to. She is old enough to put it into perspective....she knows what her name is on her birth certificate so if any legal papers need to be signed where she has to produce her birth certificate, then she knows to sign what it says on the birth certificate. If there are going to be huge arguments by changing his name, then possibly forcing the issue would be more detrimental to your son anyway. Maybe you will just have to allow him to grow up with his fathers surname. Kids are very adaptable, and if you explain it to him sensibly, then he will grow up to think its normal.

Good luck

Answer 2

Oh do I ever!!! I live in Indiana (your state may be different) My daughter was 11/2 when when my husband and I were married. He is the only real Dad she has known. Her biological father rarely sees her (which I'm glad) and does not pay his court ordered child support. I went to a lawyer with your same question. Of course she wants the same name as her family. The lawyer told me if her bio dad will fight it a judge will not change her name. So, this is what I do she is 8 now. She has always gone by her bio dad's last name hyphened with our last name. Like Smith-Jones. When I registered her for school, at first they said since her birth certificate said a different name then the hyphened they would not change it. I told them i was going to ask for my husband to adopt and they finally agreed. (I think the fact we had older children who had already been at the school for several years helped, they knew me) On all the school's paper work, it is with the two last names, hyphened. But actually on all her school work, class party lists, etc. it just lists our last name. All her doctor's chats also use her hyphened name. It's your child. If your child's father is a good father and you feel comfortable with their having a relationship, I wouldn't do it. If he is hardly around and your new husband will be your child's real Dad, I'd consider it. Hope it helps!

Answer 3

Just because the kids parrent is no longer in your bed at night does not give you the right to take away his name form this child , if you didn't want the kids name that you should have put it on the birth certificate The kid will have a different name and may feel left out. Welcome to the real world, when people break up ,people get hurt, just explain to Jr. why the parent isn't here any more

Answer 4

What makes you think you have any right to change his name? You got custody,isn't that enough? When he's 14 he'll be old enough to live with whichever parent he wants; maybe he loves his dad,ever think of that? You're so self-centered you don't even bother to mention how you and your former husband's son feels about it. Would that interest you at all? Probably not. I have known divorced women who approached this question,but they usually let the child decide. You're the first who doesn't even mention his feelings. Guess I don't wonder that your first marriage failed,and hey,lotsa luck on the next one. How many times can you say "I"? A lotsa times...I get I'll be I always I did I don't I know I was...and me me me. I think he should back to his dad as soon as he can.

Answer 5

Get over it and stop trying to take that kids God given name Unless you don't know who the father is . I know your doing it out of love but you have to draw the line somewhere . And why cant you love the kid with the name he has now sounds like to me you may have a hang up about hearing that name in your house or you think that people will look or treat you differently like your trying to cover up the fact that your wife had another mans kid. Fess up to it whats the real reason

Answer 6

If the paternal father is providing support, via child support,, health insurance, etc. you probably don't have a chance. If he isn't providing support, then see an attorney and see what right you have in the state. Maybe you can negotiate with him (reduced support)to get him to agree.

Remember, If he isn't providing support, you can claim the lad on your tax returns as a dependent.

Answer 7

not unless your new hubby adopts him... NOPE.

but here are some other links that may help any other questions you may have. just click on your state and find the section you need.

YAHOO SUPPORT GROUP
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SingleMomsOnaMission/

DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/creep/deadbeatparentssuck/
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm
www.goodparentspay.com

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATOR
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/

YOUR STATES CS POLICY
http://childsupportcenter.org/stateprofiles.php

ABANDONMENT (NO SHOW PARENTS)
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/

NOT ALL PARENTS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN
And "RATIONAL LIES"
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/child_custody/article7.asp

FREE LEGAL HELP IN YOUR STATE
(just click on your state to find contact info)
http://www.lawhelp.org/

LAWS
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

STATS
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/acesstatistics.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
(and background cks to find them)
http://www.usarecordssearch.com/
http://deadbeatsnitch.com/
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://omnitrace.com/Missing-Persons-Search.html?OVRAW=deadbeat&OVKEY=deadbeat&OVMTC=standard
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/
http://www.crimcheck.com/personalreports.htm
http://www.easybackgroundchecks.com/
http://www.abika.com/
http://www.freeprf.com/
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.netsleuth.com/
http://netonlineinvestigators.com/index.asp
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/locate-people.html


FED AGENCIES
http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml
http://www.naag.org/issues/issue-consumer.php

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

SSI AND DISABILITY
FOR CHILD SUPPORT
https://s044a90.ssa.gov/apps6z/ISBA/main.html
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/policybriefs/pb2004-02.html
http://www.ssa.gov/notices/supplemental-security-income/
http://family.findlaw.com/

FIND YOUR REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php
http://judiciary.senate.gov/

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html

http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

Answer 8

no and thank god you can't, it's not right to start with.

if the dad says ok and gives up his rights you can,

and if they do they don't deserve to be a dad.

some will do this to not pay child support and also not worth being a dad

Answer 9

Nope. Sorry.

Answer 10

I don't think you can unless the real father agrees.