My temper!!!!?

Question

I am slowly destroying a relationship with my temper. He is the sweetest guy and will give me the world if he could,but my temper is driving him crazy...and me too.Someone help me.Give me a exercise to do or something before I drive away a man that I truly love.

Answer 1

You need to find the source of your anger. Commonly, anger is the result of fear and/or hurt. When anger has become part of your lifestyle then it can also be used for control and power. It works quite well. When we are in dangerous situations anger works well in that it enables one to act and subside the danger. When you don't control your anger then you will hurt those around you, and eventually yourself.

Realizing that you have an anger problem is the first step. Some people might get angry at this accusation
Getting over anger will take time and work. You may never totally rid yourself of anger but what you can do is learn how to manage it and control yourself. When you begin to work on your anger, start writing down or taking note of your triggers. When you realize you are starting to get angry notice how your chest feels, your breathing, your fists, your heart, and anything else that is tensing up. Observe feedback from those around you? Do they tell you that you are angry and do you scream back that they are wrong? You might need to listen to them. Anyway, start taking note of when you are angry. Ask yourself what it is that your anger is telling you? What are you fearing or hurting about? What are you concerned about? What is the root of it? It will take time to figure these things out but you can do it one by one. Again, it will take time.

When you are with a loved one, or any other unsuspecting victim for that matter, and you begin to feel the effects of your anger coming up. STOP. Take a deep breath through your stomach and walk away. Learn to walk away and take a time-out. Observe yourself, note the underlying cause for the anger. Don't blame others for your anger. Take ownership for it. No one can make you angry. You choose how to react. Walking away, eating a snack, and taking a timeout for yourself is the best thing you can do when you begin to learn about yourself.

You need to find out more about your anger and other things about yourself. Seeing a counselor would be a good step. If you can't right now then at least start reading about anger. One book I recommend is called "When Anger Hurts. Quieting the Storm Within." This is a good book and it has some practical exercises you can work through. But remember, exercises will only get you so far. Yes, STOPPING and then taking a time out is good. Deep breathing is good. But, again you need to find the source of your anger.

Just a note here. When you begin to see yourself getting angry you might want to let your loved one or friend know. Talk to them when you are in a good mood and let them know that you understand that your anger gets out of control sometimes. So, let them know that when you sense that you might lose it tell them you are going to take a time out. That way, they won't misunderstand your walking away.

Good luck on your journey. You've made a good first step by admiting that you have an anger problem. On a last note, remember that you do not have the right to hurt anyone by your anger, and by your actions or words. That is crossing a boundary. It is not OK to hurt someone else. This is abuse.

Lastly, I believe you will make it through this. Make apologies where you need to. Accept responsibility where you need to. STOP being abusive. The journey won't be an easy one. Anger is such a power. So keep working with it, learn to understand yourself, and continue to communicate and don't bottle things up.

Peace

Answer 2

You need to seek anger management, since you know that you have a problem that is the first step .. Here is a website that answers these following questions : # What are the two types of anger?
# What is the anger cycle?
# How does anger differ from hostility and aggression?
# What feelings are felt during an expression of anger?
# What are some common ways of dealing with anger?
# What is the anger reaction to loss in a dysfunctional family?
# How is anger often dealt with in a dysfunctional family?
# What are some ways to redefine anger?
# What can I do with anger?
# What are some steps to take in handling current anger?
# What are some constructive ways to perform a "healthy anger work-out"
#

What are some steps to work out unresolved anger to resolve past issues?

http://www.coping.org/anger/workout.htm

Answer 3

Hmm exercise eh?Well that could be a good start! Maybe start jogging or join a gym, thats how I blow off my steam! Also maybe go to a counselor together, then you can find out why dierct your anger at him and where it all comes from. GOOD LUCK to you i can relate....

Answer 4

Maybe it is not so much anger as it is anxiety. Talk to your doctor, maybe he or she can help you. Mine helped me by giving me antidepressants that helped my anxiety and my temper calmed down a lot. Good Luck

Answer 5

when you feel that you are going to lose your temper just close your eyes take 5 deep breaths count to ten then think about what you were going to say if it is not the greatest thing that you should say then re frase it.

Answer 6

You have to calm down. The things you get upset about might be something you dont need to get upset about. Calm down and everything will work out.

Answer 7

Help yourself. Get counselling for anger management

Answer 8

you can't magically change but you will have to think before you speak. you're the only one who has that control if you choose to use it to better your relationship with others.