My Mom Passed Away This March 23rd On A Horrible Saturday. Im Heartbroken...Im 18 years old...I didnt live with her...I live with my fiance'...My whole family is hurt especially my grandparents(HER PARENTS)...We lost her at such a tender age of 49 due to Liver Failure. I need to hear of other peoples experiences and Ideas on what can help me feel better PLEASE! I feel like I have a two ton rock on my chest just sitting there and all I can think about is The last time I saw her at my house. Please help...
2007-03-24 13:05:17 · 22 answers · asked by ♥ Loving My Babyboy ;) ♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Accept that this is a great stress on you.Take it easy on yourself.
I went through this about 2 years ago, and I am finally starting to think straight and enjoy life again.
This is one of the life-events that come sooner or later, that have to be accepted---even if you were 60, it would be a similar shock and burden.
But there are many revelations about life that will not happen for you until your mother dies, and you are experiencing those revelations now--it is a lot to get through.
Know that she loved you---a mother's love is unique, understanding, and all-encompassing. If you have photos and notes/cards from her, get them together on a bulletin board so you can look at them when you're thinking about her, and remind yourself of the happy times together.
Remind yourself that in "eternity" there is no time, and that you will be with her instantly there (when you pass away), because earthly time doesn't exist for her now.
If you feel like it, write a letter to her about what you are feeling and doing, and your plans for the future. Go back in your childhood for things you want to thank her for, and happy memories, and write these down.
It might take years to mourn properly, before your emotions recover. Don't worry about it---your mind and spirit has to heal, and they will.
2007-03-24 13:55:55 · answer #1 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, you do have a two ton rock on your chest right now. I am so so sorry for your loss. That is a horrible tragedy for such a young girl. First of all give yourself some time. It takes a really really long time to get over something like that. Talk about her a lot. As much as you need to with whoever will listen. Talk about the things that made you laugh, the things she did that made you happy. Keep alive whatever traditions she made with you. Maybe it was baking Christmas cookies or something like that. My favorite person on earth died when I was 17. She was my grandmother Eileen. My grandfather (her husband) took his life exactly 7 days later. She made Christmas very special for me during my whole childhood. When I hear Christmas music I still get teary eyed, but I do with my kids the things she used to do with me and that is how I keep her alive with me. I also have her pictures up. I talk to her alot too. Sorry to ramble but there are no definative answers to help. Mostly just time.
2007-03-24 20:13:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
We lost my mother in law last year a few days after Thanksgiving due to cancer.It was so hard to work through all the emotions that death evokes in the friends and family that are left behind.
Like the first answerer said cry and let it out as often as it hits you.Tears are the soul's way of healing both spirit and heart.
I inherited a great many things from my mother in law including clothing and it was difficult as heck going through all of them because her scent lingered on them all.Among all her things that she treasured I sat and spoke to her because I know she could still hear me,I said all the things that I should've said and didn't due to many things.I got everything off my chest that I ever felt guilty for and said thank you for all the little things she had done for me and I apologized for the little things I didn't get the chance to do for her.Among all of her treasures I sat silently for a bit and I soul searched....I found ways not BIG ways but small ways that would help me accept that she isn't here with me any more.I read a book that she recommended to me and I hadn't read yet.I highly recommend this book though I warn you it'll make you cry but it will also help you find some small ways to accept your mother's passing.The book is called "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran.It's an awe inspiring book and it helped me in quite a few ways.
I still cry at the loss of her and I smile with every passing thought of her.I still talk to her when I need someone to talk to and in my dreams she still talks to me...Death is a powerful transition both emotionally and spiritually.Celebrate her life talk to her,cry for her,and take small steps for her find a way to heal and be able to move forward.Death is something you never forget or the people whom death has taken.Moving forward simply means finding a way to LIVE through the pain and grief of mourning.Find a way to keep her alive without it taking away from you.Write poems or do some art something,anything that will allow you to express your feelins something to help you accept and move forward like she would want you to...
I am terribly sorry for your loss and eventually it does get a little better but it doesn't happen quickly.It happens when you are ready and when you allow it...
I Wish You Healing of Heart,Mind,Emotions,&Spirit
HUgssssssssssss,
M.G
2007-03-24 20:21:41 · answer #3 · answered by Malia G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your Mother. I have been to 9 Funerals in the last year so I know what it's like. My Wife's parents, 2 of her aunts, 1 cousin, her brother, 1 uncle, then on my side I lost 2 brothers so I know the feeling believe me! I would find a
quiet place and open a Bible and just start reading. That is the only thing that kept me going. My thoughts are with you.
2007-03-24 20:20:30 · answer #4 · answered by Williamstown 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry about the loss of your mother. I lost my mom on March 25, 1984, when I was 21. I still feel the loss. But I tried to keep busy and take my mind off of it. After a couple of months, it was nice to listen to stories about my mom growing up from her mother and brother. Sometimes the stories were funny, sometimes they were sad, but it was nice just having that connection with my mom. In fact when my uncle (her brother) moved to Nevada, it was if I was losing a piece of my mom again because he was the last connection I had to her. But for me, remembering the good times helped me more than anything. You're in my thoughts and I hope this gets easier for you.
2007-03-24 20:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by Missy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss... When my dad past, I was only 17 and he was my life and still. In 3 days is our birthday and I still missed him. What helped me was my friends and family... but taking walks on the park and praying for him it's helped me. Cry if you feel to do it ... I always remembered all the good things we did together. For you, think that, she is going to be with you forever and that she loves you so much... Keep making her proud of you, finish school, keep working and enjoy life. Right know seems that the whole world its falling apart but, at the end of the road you will see the light and then any situation that become in your life it's nothing compare to these.
God Bless you
your new friend
2007-03-24 20:28:02 · answer #6 · answered by MARIA B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your friends and family. Lean on each other for support. If you feel you would like extra help consider seeing a grief counselor, they are specially trained in helping people through times like this.
Even writing a post here is helpful and helps you deal with it. I'm 33 and lost my Dad 7 years ago. I gotta tell ya, time really does help. We still miss the ones we've lost but as time goes on it does get better, I promise.
Be sure you eat normally and get enough sleep. That helps.
My condolences, take care.
2007-03-24 20:12:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. J 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that hun. i lost my mom when i was 20, so I know how bad it can hurt.I wish I could say theres a quick fix but there just isnt.Youve just got to let it out.The memories are going to hurt for a while, but in time, it does get easier. You might try doing something in her memory like planting a tree in a park, or making a donation to her favorite charity, that way it seems to give some positive to such a hurtful situation.good luck and god bless.
2007-03-24 20:12:08 · answer #8 · answered by dynamite136 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is going to take a while you for to get over the hurt and pain, but go visit her grave whenever you can. You can sit there and talk to her picture like she is still with you and that you both are just out for a girl's day of shopping. You need to remember that you haven't lost your mom totally, you just lost your mom's human body. Your mom is still with you in spirit and will always be with you in your thoughts and feelings.Try to remember the good times with your mom and the things she taught you. There are a few songs from Steve Wariner that might help you, I added the links for them. The songs are "Two Teardrops", "Holes in the floor of Heaven", and "Missing You".
2007-03-24 20:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by Wolfmanscott 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My condolences. My mother passed away two years ago and it sometimes still feels fresh to me. I was the one who answered the phone call from the hospital the night she died. She had esophogeal cancer and died at the age of 52. What I try to do is try to remember all of the good things we did and all the fun we had. I also try to keep myself busy so I don't have time to dwell on being sad. I also visit her grave when I can. I'll be going there on tuesday.(The 27th was her birthday) Basically you and your family all need to help each other through it.
I'm sorry for your loss.
2007-03-24 22:16:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋