Do you think it is wrong to have your own room when you are in a relationship, but you need your space?

Question

by the way he snores and kicks. Thanks for the feedback

Answer 1

"Wrong" ? Like legally, ethically or morally? Obviusly you seem to be swallowing the "movie" version of reality where you must "love" all of someone or none. Reality is not like that as I'm sure you know. Actually the obvious answer (if you are female) is that of course it is wrong. You must totally subjugate your own feelings, goals and interests to him. Nothing you do should in any way detract from his happiness. In fact you should lie cheat and steal so he has no idea that you are not his perfect soul-mate. See? I told you it was obvious! Be sure to ask his permission to breathe, eat and (especially) talk. My dad snored so loud that it shook the windows down the hallway from their bedroom. When it bothered mom she got up and moved into her sewing room (it had a guest bed). Kahil Galbran said "Let there be spaces in your togetherness" anything else is just sick. BTW snoring may be damaging to him, he should get it looked at. And kicking may indicate restless leg syndrome - it certainly indicates you need a bigger bed!
(and yes you should have your own space if you need it - duh!)

Answer 2

Not wrong per se, but you need to make sure that this isn't going to mess up the relationship. I know people who do this, and for the same reason - snoring, kicking, flailing elbows... Maybe a compromise is in order: you stay in the same room when you feel you can handle it, and he tries to control his snoring and kicking when you're there. Maybe snore strips will help him?

Of course, if there are other reasons you want space from him, then the consequences may be very different. Be careful, and be completely honest about all of your reasons - to yourself, and to him

Good luck!

Answer 3

It doesn't bode well for any marriage if you can't sleep together. Snoring is a health problem that should be treated, and usually can be. It's connected with apnea (occasional cessation of breathing, and then gasping for air), poor quality of sleep, waking drowsiness, irritability, high blood pressure and heart problems. This could very well be the cause of the kicking, and it probably happens when he's struggling for that next breath. If he's overweight, that's a major cause. Everything else I listed is a consequence. A visit to the doctor and taking this seriously could save your relationship and his life.

Answer 4

It's only normal to want your own space, but learning to get used to your partner is key in developing a better relationship.

Answer 5

old married people always have their own rooms so I guess it's ok. And back in the day in Victorian days, the husband and wife had their own rooms (the rich ones anyway) So, sure why not? Get your own room