I recently accepted a great job offer. My weekly income more than doubled, and I have noticed my husband seems upset that I make more money than him now. I'm a bit suprised at this, and in my mind it all goes into the same account anyways. I don't brag about it, or in anyway make a point of him knowing the difference. Does anyone know why he is acting like this. He won't discuss it, and I'd like to understand why he feels this way. After 7 yrs of marriage, this is the first time he refuses to talk about it!
2007-03-24 12:45:41 · 9 answers · asked by Lady Butler 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I like that you don't brag or talk about the money. We live in a society that expects the man to be the primary breadwinner and to provide for his family. His masculinity is being threatened. He probably doesn't even know why he's feeling like this. I don't know that I would keep pressing him for an answer. He may need some time to get used to this. All he knows right now is that he doesn't feel great about making less than you. Give him some time.
2007-03-24 12:54:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My dad went through that. He had a govt job when my mother decided she wanted more things and went to work and got them. But she also advanced in her job and it became a career and then she finally became vice president of the company while my dad still had the job he started out with. Near the end (before he died at 70) she was making far more than he ever had. And he loved her but that always hurt his masculinity and he made a lot of cracks at her. She just took the remarks and went on. I think they were happy anyway and I am not hoping one way or the other. I am honest. That's how it was to me.
You can make advancements in your job but his masculinity will make him angry once in awhile when he's being resentful.
If you can handle it, then fine. What if you didn't work and the marriage went bad in the future? Then what would you have? You should make all the money you can and save some for yourself that he doesn't know about. Or that's what I would do.
2007-03-24 12:56:14 · answer #2 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it some time. I make more than my husband as well. He used to try to compensate for it by doing extra jobs, but he finally gave that up. He loves paying bills and we have separate accounts, so I transfer money in to his account and he happily pays everything then we each spend what is left over on what we choose.
2007-03-24 12:51:11 · answer #3 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because males are genetically programmed to be 'providers'. Over time you'll will also find yourself starting to resent him for making less than you because a female doesn't naturally want to 'provide' for a male. It's against evolution. Thankfully we are rational creatures and not governed entirely by instinct but you best find a way to talk about it to head off trouble later on.
2007-03-24 12:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by Helios K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ride this one out...Don't make it a big issue like he is.Just support him along the way. Bye him something special and let him know that you are Husband And Wife. My husband use to be the same way. I let him get over it on his own. Money isn't everything.That's what our bible tell us.....The both of you should be ecstatic......Just give him some time.
2007-03-24 12:54:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it's a guy thing. Just drop the issue. He'll get back to normal soon. You've just hurt his 'man-as-provider' pride. As soon as he sees what you guys can do with the money he'll be ok. Or let him spend a bit on himself (car or truck)...if he appreciates the money, he wont care who made it.
2007-03-24 12:54:38 · answer #6 · answered by Chrissy V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
somewhere along the like he was taught that he was to be the primary breadwinner and he sin't that any more. Men can be fools
2007-03-24 12:50:33 · answer #7 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cuz hes stupid? I always liked girls that made more money than me.. they can buy me better toys...
Gotta sister that makes good money.. i'm in the dating market (marriage is out of the question LOL)
2007-03-24 12:51:44 · answer #8 · answered by darchangel_3 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He's jealous.
2007-03-24 12:54:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋