Crisis need honest answers?

Question

If you have an affair and the sex is better, will you ever be satisfied in your marriage again?
My wife suspects the affair, the affairee works with me. I have fallen out of love with my wife.

Answer 1

You answered your own question. You said the sex was better with the other woman. And you said you don't love your wife anymore. Everything else is just paperwork so start the ball rolling and making plans where to live etc. etc.

Answer 2

In an affair, everything is always better. This is not a relationship of commitment, its simply the desire to stray from the known and enjoy life outside of your marriage especially if it has gone sour. But, if you are not in love with your wife, why are you still married? It makes no sense to stay in a marriage if there is nothing left.. its wasting your time and your wife's. And this affair will make things more strained just because of the simple fact that is AN AFFAIR. And her suspecting it doesnt make it better.. you are just digging your own grave. My advice is: if the marriage is unsalvagable, take the steps to divorce . It will be painful, probably moreso for her than you, but if all else has failed, its time to end it. You arent doing anyone any favors by dragging this out. Hope everything works out... Good luck!

Answer 3

You will never be completely satisfied in your marriage again. Not because the sex is better, but because you've crossed that line and changed it forever. That doesn't mean you'll end your marriage, because the pros of staying may outweigh the cons. If there are kids involved, it's very complicated.

If there aren't kids involved, the most honest, ethical thing to do would be to set your wife free so she can find someone who will love her as she deserves to be loved. If you stay, you're most likely doing so for your own selfish reasons.

Think long and hard before you make a change. The person with whom you're cheating isn't any more ethical or honest than you are. Neither of you will ever be quite trustworthy in the future.

Think about what you're giving up and whether it's worth it for something that could be shallow and fleeting. And if you don't think it's worth it, change your ways starting now and try to refocus on the person who married you and swore to spend the rest of her life with you, for better or for worse.

Answer 4

You won't ever be satisfied in your marriage if you have fallen out of love with your wife, whether the sex is better somewhere else or not.

Affairs are always more enticing because they are dangerous, which tends to add excitement and pleasure to the affair. You will hurt your wife more by continuing the affair than by just stepping up and telling her you don't love her anymore.

Have you guys been to counseling? Tried getting help? Sometimes you can rekindle the romance by using therapy.

Answer 5

The grass looks good on the other side but after a while it will turn bad and so one needs to turn around and stay with spouse. One cannot be satisfied in marriage cheating. There will be things about you that will give your wife a notion that you may be cheating and you cannot help but fall out of love cause you have placed your feeling somewhere else.

Answer 6

No, you won't be satisfied w/your wife ever again. Sorry, but you've found something better & need to make some hard decisions. If you've fallen out of love w/your wife & in love w/someone else, you owe it to yourself, your wife & your lover to come clean & stop pretending. Get a divorce & move on. Good Luck.

Answer 7

what u did with totally wrong now we wont talk at the past but when u agreed to marry this lady u agreed to didecate ur life for her so having an affair will just destroy ur life what if u switched places what would u feeel towards her would u still love her would u still wanna stay with her? besides the one ur having with her an affair she wont live like this fr ever at a point she will leave u what will u do next find another one .....? pick whores.........?get .....aids ???? look at the bigger picture wide angle of view ur just waisting time cause ur life isnt active much u need to spend more time with ur wife luxurious romantic time and u be the leader the husband the servant and the lover she would really appreciate that and push ur life forward u still need more advices but to cut short TAKE CARE F UR WIFE she is what u have now deal with it

Answer 8

If you've fallen out of love with your wife you've just answered your own question about whether you will ever be satisfied in your marriage. If you want to salvage your marriage try to figure out why you've fallen out of love with her (if you need the help of a counselor or therapist to work through these issues find one.) Talk to her about what you need in your marriage, what you feel is missing; if she really loves you she should be willing to help you because helping you will be helping the marriage. She may have her own issues that she is scared to talk to you about as well. Be open about your feelings.

Answer 9

You are hurting your wife in 2 ways first you broke your vows and second your don't love her anymore but you stay with her. Sex is not love btw so great sex is well great but it doesnt mean that this affair you are having is love. So you best be sure you don't love your wife anymore or you will end up with tons of regret exspecially if you realize later that you really do love your wife and that you were just bored

Answer 10

the question will be, if your wife will ever be satisfied with your marriage after she knew about your affair? after knowing the answer to this question, then your own question will be answeres by yourself... how? after you have told her your affair, you will see the hurt you have caused on the person who said I DO to you, you will see the pain you brought to the person who in one way or another swept you off your feet that's why you married her...
better tell her first, before leaving her... you'll never know, maybe she thinks and feels the same way with you...