I just don't know what to do anymore...?

Question

I'm 16 years old, 17 in less than a month. Last November I was diagnosed with ADD, and this month my psychologist finally admitted I have depression as well. (I think he didn't want to burden me with the knowledge that I had two problems...)
I've been severely depressed for the last two years or so. The only person who I've ever truly loved stopped being my friend (I never told him I liked him or anything), and my life as well as my grades have deteriorated since. Schoolwork has also gotten tougher, and my above average IQ got me by before high school.
Before I was diagnosed with ADD and depression, my parents yelled at me and held me responsible for my falling grades. I suffered many breakdowns and it wasn't until I asked if I could be tested for a psychological problem did they take me to a doctor. I tried three different types of meds, and had side effects. I'm on Lexapro now, and it's not working. (will continue this question in a moment)

The constant medication trials and the struggles I am having with getting my work done in school have gotten me to the point where I can no longer function. I feel completely helpless and hopeless, and now I depend on project extensions. I can't focus, though. Whenever I do schoolwork I'm bored, can't focus, and as a result I begin drifting off into a sea of negative feelings. The ADD and depression go hand in hand to make me miserable... and my parents can't see why I don't like schoolwork. Schoolwork = Torture
Right now my stress keeps building up, and the projects, tests, and everything I've missed from being sick or having extensions keeps piling up. My parents can't understand what's going on fully, and I have never felt so controlled. I literally have no choices anymore, because everything has to be done for college, for my parents, for school. I just don't know what to do. My psychologist isn't doing anything, my friends can't help me... What am I supposed to do?

Answer 1

Just hang in there. Do the therapy. If medication helps, use that. But don;t give up on everyday activities and work such as school and friends and activities. You are struggling and it is unfair, but with the help of your parents, therapist and yourself, you will cope the best you can.

Answer 2

Just a few comments here:

First off, what may be the bad news: it is going to be tough for a little while, mainly because people who don't have depression have a hard time understanding it. I know because my sister has depression, and has since she was a little younger than you (she's now 35, I'm 34), and I've been struggling to understand for years, despite having some medical training and being diligent in trying to get my head around it for a long time. Similarly to addictions, those who don't have it are inclined to say "just get over it!"

But knowing that this is the case can help you accept that fact. Don't get upset or think that there's nobody who understands you when you get that reaction. Your family loves you and always will, even if they don't quite get you sometimes and you both get frustrated.

Next, here's a little advice from someone in the pharmaceutical industry: not all drugs work for everyone (sounds like you've already found that out the hard way!). Be patient until you find something that works for you, and let your doctor know if what your taking doesn't work. Also, DON'T keep taking a drug if it makes you feel weird in any way - there are some serious adverse reactions to a lot of the depression drugs, so keep track of how you feel.

Third, and hopefully you haven't gone the route as many have, DON'T try to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. That can easily become a life-long problem, and is extremely dangerous. (I'm not saying you can never have a drink in your life! Just don't turn to drinking or drugs to make you feel better). The reason this is so dangerous is because your body and mind's response to alcohol, or drugs like cocaine or heroin, is FAST and often of greater magnitude than the effects of even medications that work for you. But nothing is free - those effects come at the expense of addiction, expense, and a risk of jailing or overdose. And the more times you do this, the more of the drug or alcohol it takes to get that effect. Worse still, it becomes harder and harder to manage your actual LIFE when dealing with addiction on top of depression, and it can easily become a vicious cycle (your addiction makes you depressed, to you self-medicate again, etc).

DO ask to go to the doctor, but also don't hesitate to ask to see a counselor/psychologist (I've found and heard that those outside of schools are better than those at school). And if you do, make sure the person is someone you feel comfortable talking to, and who understands you - if not, get someone else! A good counselor can help you but also help your parents understand what you're going through.

Also consider checking out some online communities/support groups.

Regarding your grades/schoolwork, have a talk with your school counselor - schedule something with them, one on one. Let them know what you're dealing with, and maybe the can give advice on what might be done to help.

People suffering form depression tend to have a strong sense of feeling like they're in it alone. If you feel that way, I want you to understand that that's NOT the case! Just keep in mind that people might not understand what you're dealing with, but it doesn't mean that they don't love you and don't want to help (though they might not know how to approach you with help...).

The only other piece of advice I can give is perspective. You are going through a tough time, undoubtably - but know that there are MANY others who experience similar feelings but still make their way through it to lead the kind of life they want to lead - with just a "simple" added complication of having to manage their depression. It is something that you'll have to live with, but it's also something you CAN manage and CAN make it through.

I wish you the best!!!

Answer 3

I've had a very similar problem. Lexapro DOES NOT WORK WELL i am sorry to say. Prozac is the best. I take it, and life is much better now.
The light is at the end of this D.A.M.N. Tunnel, but find a hobby that you love. Mine is writing. I used to cut, and the only thing that i could do to not was to write. It calmed me down.

And reading...

Find your calling, though it may be more difficult because you are depressed. It was really hard for me, but once you find it, life is much better.

And P.S.---Prozac takes about three weeks to really start working. Then BAM, you start to smile for REAL once more.

Hold on tight.

I was depressed for my entire life until just last year. I couldn't believe that it was worth it. But it is.

Answer 4

Hi. I will pray for you, God does not give us more then we can handle. However sometimes we all need help. Talk to your Dr. see if there is a support group for people who fell the way you do. You are not alone. There are alot of teens that fell this way. If there is not a support group then make one.
Take a walk when it gets to be to much the fresh air will help and exercise of any type releases natural fell good hormones.
Volunteer one day a month there are people out there that need your help.
I hope you start feeling better soon.
When I was sad medication helped out alot.
Best Wishes

Answer 5

Get a copy of this book:

"Healing ADD" by Thom Hartmann. It's only $10.00 brand new, but you can find it cheaper on Amazon.com.

It'll give you a whole new outlook on your situation, and may even help to ease any depressed feelings you have had.

Answer 6

Talk to someone, not just a doctor, but a friend who you can trust (i know you said you did not have any).
Your in control of your life, if someone is forcing you to do something it's only because your letting them.

Answer 7

You just have to move along, and keep living your life
Do what the Dr's say i do it and they have no idea why i past out randomly
We are here to support you

Answer 8

Don't lose your heart. Try Yoga and Meditation. This site may be of use to you: http://www.artofliving.org/Research/tabid/107/Default.aspx

You can also visit the link: http://www.artofliving.org

Answer 9

Tell your DR what you have told all of us. He or she can help. I will pray for you. Talk to God. Ask Jesus to heal you. You might not like that advise, or maybe you do. He really can help. ASK HIM

Answer 10

just hang in there and try as hard as you can maybe you can go to home schooling is awsome