I was meeting my mate at a bar after a cocktail party. I turned up very drunk on cocktails, she being very sober, and remember her handing me her camera whilst she went to the bar. Then it all gets a bit hazy. I thought I gave it back to her and went to dance. Apparently she thought I put it in her bag. A few hours later she asked me if I had it - to which I replied I hadn't and went searching for it in a drunken guilt-ridden shame thinking I left it where she handed it to me. Now she's asking me days later and I'm wondering whether I should (a) tell her I was drunk, did she expect me to look after it all night?! (b) contribute to the cost of another camera or (c) buy her another camera (it's pricey). I'm annoyed that she put me in that position after I said I was so drunk, but can see that she must be upset that the camera has gone missing. I've already said that I thought I handed it back to her but she said that wasn't what happened. What is the right thing to do?
2007-03-24 12:16:24 · 18 answers · asked by starry eyed 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hi JP, sorry you've got yourself into such a pickle over what should have been a nice evening out.
I have very carefully read the things that you have said in your question,as to give you my best view of the situation.
You say you thought you gave the camera back,before going to dance.
Your friend on meeting was sober ,was she still sober when you went to dance.
You say your friend thought you had put it in her bag,but was several hours before realising it was missing.
You should'nt feel guilty as this was more your friends fault than yours.
She was very irresponsible on more than one occasion,firstly for taking such an expensive camera on a night out drinking.
Secondly for giving you the camera knowing you were drunk at the time.
I have a scenario for you,and see if you think this sounds something like what might have really happened.
You met your friend and she gave you the camera whilst going to get drinks at the bar.
After a while you decide to go and dance placing the camera on the table or in your friends bag,as she herself admits.
You go and dance believing she will pick the camera off the table and put it safe.
But getting another drink or joining you on the dancefloor,the camera is left on the table.
It then gets stolen by someone in the club,and both of you are unaware the camera is gone.
Then later when back at the table the camera is nowhere to be found,she thinks you still have it and you think she has it.
Because you are drunk you question yourself did i or did'nt i give her the camera.
Speak to your friend tell her your sorry she has lost her camera but you were sure you gave it back before going to dance.
And that her herself thought you had returned it ,but as a friend it does'nt make you feel any better.
Tell her you will be happy to share the cost of getting a new camera for her.
As a friend she will except your offer,or tell you not to worry about it.
In the future try not to get so drunk that you can't remember things,its not good and can even be dangeruos.
Hope you sort things out,but don't blame yourself as it may have nothing to do with you as explained in my scenario.
2007-03-24 14:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by Tony 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mate knew you were drunk and she shouldn't have given a drunk person something as important as an expensive camera to hold onto. Would you give a drunk your wallet to hold with your just cashed paycheck in it? No you wouldn't. I believe she is just as responsible for the loss of the camera if not completely but...to make things right, you should offer to contribute to the cost of another camera. Half should be fair. Now, if you were stone cold sober and she gave you the camera to hold and you agreed to be responsible for it then you would be obligated to replace the camera. I only believe you should pay half because your mate quite obviously knew you were in no condition to be responsible for anything of that nature.She was a fool to expect you to know what the hell you were doing. THATS WHY WE TAKE CAR KEYS FROM DRUNKEN PEOPLE.
Good luck.
2007-03-24 19:27:06 · answer #2 · answered by blakta2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's a good friend & you value her friendship I think you should offer to contribute to the cost of a new camera, even if she should have realised you weren't in any state to look after it. I think this should be a lesson to you not to drink so much that you can't remember what you've done (which might be what your friend is really trying to tell you). It's really unsafe to get so drunk that people could take advantage of you. Be thankful its just a lost camera & not something a lot worse that happened to you.
2007-03-24 19:26:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she knew you were drunk she should have had more sense than to give you her camera. at the end of the day it is her property, she should have looked after it.
if i were you i'd be very apologetic, explain that you were drunk and that you were in no fit state to look after yourself let alone anyone else's property. if you harp on about how sorry you are, and how bad you feel, she should understand. offer to contribute part of the cost of a new camera, but make this an empty gesture - ie do a lot of grovelling first. she should appreciate the offer and hopefully say don't worry about it.
in short, manipulate the situation! you shouldn't pay for something which she couldn't be bothered to look after herself.
good luck!
2007-03-24 19:23:16 · answer #4 · answered by vansiepurple 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer to give her some money towards a new one. No point getting her a new one since you may end up paying more for it than what her old camera was worth!
If shes getting all funny about it, then dont offer anything at all. Its only a camera after all.
2007-03-24 19:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by Kirsty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is her fault! She must have known you were drunk!! Who gives something valuable to someone whilst they are drunk?? I wouldn't pay the full amount, and depending on how much you value the friendship maybe you should consider contributing something towards a new camera.
2007-03-24 19:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting dilemma - personally i do think she was dumb to give you the camera. She was wrong for that! I'd also tell her that she shouldnt have given it to you - However if she is a good friend I would offer to contribute to the cost of a new one as other posters on here have suggested. As a gesture of good friendship
2007-03-24 19:31:29 · answer #7 · answered by Chimera's Song 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depends on how much of a gd friend this grl is to u.
1 she might be looking to freeload some cash. 2 she could be being honest with u. U r going to have to make this decision although u say u remember giving it to her on the dance floor then id stick with that thought.
2007-03-24 19:29:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Post a reward for the camera in the pub where you were or buy her a new one is the right thing to do.
2007-03-24 20:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by Birdman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for the happy medium. Give her SOME money for a new camera.
2007-03-24 21:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by Dani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋