My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years, and we have a 2 1/2 yr old son. So yeah we got married when I was pregnant. We weren't together very long before I ended up pregnant and were rushed into marriage, mostly by my family. So needless to say we didn't get to know each other that well and now I'm starting to find out things about him that I don't like. If I had known these things before we got married I would have never married him. But now our son is involved and I'm really torn on what to do. I care for my husband but I'm not sure if I'm in love with him anymore. I know all this may sound stupid to everyone else but I really need some advice. We've been in marriage counseling for about 5 months and it doesn't seem to be working. If anything the counselor is pointing more things wrong then I ever realized before. So I guess I need some help, anyone got any advice?
2007-03-24 11:20:37 · 13 answers · asked by selena020102 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Run for the hills! Take the easy way out! Forget everything and just leave! (Do you sense the sarcasm?). My gosh. Everyone just thinks leaving because you are not excited and thrilled to be married is the answer. Switch counselors. Talk to your husband. Who's fault is it you got knocked up? The kids? Who ever said "divorce" benefits a child is crazy. Parents need to learn to get along. So you aren't crazy in love - do you think our grandparents always felt head over heels for each other? Who is responsible for their lives? YOU. If he is not abusive and a good dad... you need to find a way to work it out and deal with it.
2007-03-24 11:35:17 · answer #1 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
H. I would say, first off, that maybe you need a new counselor. Counseling should be more than a gripe session, and it sounds like yours is severely lacking in that department. Secondly, I would say that if your husband is, on the whole, a pretty good guy: responsible, takes care of his family, a good father, etc., that you, for your son's sake, be a good woman to your husband and he will be a good man to you. When you son is 18, if you still feel the marriage is lacking, then divorce him then.
I hate to point out the obvious, but you had the choice to sleep with him before you knew him well, you had the choice to marry him, instead of putting your son up for adoption, so now you have to work with what you have. Your son didn't have any of these choices, and if you divorce now, it will be detrimental to him.
Good luck.
2007-03-24 18:31:36 · answer #2 · answered by skydivemommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love him then don't stay with him not just for the sake of your little boy! Living with a happy mum and dad apart is better than living with two people going through the motions. If you don't love him then you are doing an injustice to both of you , if you part you will both have the chance of happiness. Divorce is hard and there will be ups and downs but you will come out the other end a happier more stable person. It is even possible to have a better relationship with husbands when they are your ex !!! So do what is right for your future happiness.
2007-03-24 19:16:14 · answer #3 · answered by Yes definetly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im going through a divorce and have a 2 year old son and my husband and i yelled all the time and we just realized this is for the best, when your not happy get out it could make it worse for the child if you dont, we loved each other but recently realized we're not IN love with each other you know.. Don't feel stuck in the relationship, because of a child it will just drag things out longer.
2007-03-24 18:58:54 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is you marriage counselor, a "Christian" counselor? If not, I would suggest talking to your church counselor of seeking a Christian Counselor. They are better equipped to answer your questions and provide you and your husband with the best counseling.. The Bible lists 3 biblical reasons for divorce: adultery, abuse, and a spouse who doesn't believe in God and chooses to leave you. In my opinion, "adultery" does NOT have to be physical.
2007-03-24 18:37:35 · answer #5 · answered by kaycee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you got married for all the wrong reasons in the first place. Get a divorce....
2007-03-24 18:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by beenabytch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change marriage counselors. The counseling isn't what "works" it's the couple who have to make a commitment to make it work.
2007-03-24 18:26:48 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you r weak!!!!!!!!!!! why r u trying to take the cowards way out? marriage takes work from both sides . if you r looking for mr perfect you are going to have to marry jesus christ himself!!!!my advice is dont divorce!!! work on it im sure you have faults too.dont divorce him instead divorce the counselor!!!!!!!!!!!!!he doesnt need to point at all the faults he needs to show you ways to be happy together!!
2007-03-24 18:52:26 · answer #8 · answered by injun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would never recommend divorce,and unless one of you have committed adultery, it is wrong in gods eyes.
but, because our society and our judicial system has made it so easy for us to marry and divorce (dissolution,annul,etc.).......... screw it, do it if your not happy. and by the way....no 1 will look down on you for it and i think you can get this done at wal-mart now. good luck and you are in my prayers. god bless you and your family.
2007-03-24 18:38:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are fighting around your child, it's more beneficial to get out of this type of relationship, than to let it go on effecting your child. Also, if you can't stand the thought of him even touching you, it's time to go!
Hope this helps, and best of luck!!
2007-03-24 18:26:13 · answer #10 · answered by oracle1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋