My husband and I met at work. After turning him down for months, I finally gave into his requests to go out. It became a relationship. He had told me how his wife would deprive him of sex for months at a time, then would brag about it to her friends and then they told their husbands. Then when she finally gave in and gave him some, it was like a dead fish. He told her a year before he met me that if things (more than just the love making) didn't change, the marriage would be. She would complain, belly ache, "*itch and moan" as he calls it, and was never satisifed with anything he did or said. Well she and he finally confronted the fact that he had fallen in love with me and that they were over.
We were married within a year of their divorce. Of course she blames me, and yes I agree I am to blame to some degree. But she should have kept her man happy.
Should I apologize?
2007-03-24 11:13:55 · 12 answers · asked by Carol D 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think apologizing is always a good thing. How great that you are thoughtful enough to even consider this. I would maybe send her a little letter or plain card and apologize. Be careful not to offend her by saying you knew there were problems in their marriage, etc. If you say anything like that you cancel out your apology. Only say the part about you. You can keep it short and sweet. Again, the fact that you can even see her side says a lot about you.
2007-03-24 12:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
As somebody who is divorced, I'll let you know that ex's usually don't want to deal with new spouses. She probably doesn't want to see you or hear from you unless she has to. It's difficult to get over any longer term relationship, and you'd probably do best at this time to let it be.
In the distant future, you may find yourself in a situation where you are both forced to spend time together and talk. If that happens, express your feelings in a kind way. It sounds like there's enough blame to go around in this situation. Their breakup was not all about you, and, although you feel that you contributed to the situation, consider how she is feeling now before you stir up the past again.
2007-03-24 18:28:31 · answer #2 · answered by Tunsa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if I would "apologize".. but if it would make you feel better about things, try just having a heart -to-heart talk with her.. tell her that regardless of what she has heard, or thinks, you honestly didn't pursue the relationship with him while there was still a chance for their marriage. It will probably be very hard for both of you, but it sounds like you just need some clarification, and some closure..
Just assure her that you understand how it may look, and you respect her feelings, but you love him - and you can't plan these things around a social calender or someone else's feelings...it just happens.
Kudos to you for waiting, that shows a lot...
2007-03-24 18:26:13 · answer #3 · answered by Miss B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not ! Their marriage was DEAD long before you came into the picture. If the truth be made known, I bet she was getting it on with someone on the side other than her husband and they probably dumped her and she doesn't or didn't give a flip about sex anymore probably because she is lacking in Passion which that is NOT your fault, right???? You shouldn't even be speaking to her or him either unless they have kids at family functions or you are involved in their childs life if their NOT grown. If their grown , no biggie, it will all work out.
2007-03-24 20:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can apologize, but I don't think it would do any good. Yes, it sounds like there were problems in the marriage, but you should never have gotten involved, while he was still maried. You reap what you sow. Don't be surprised if he does the same thing to you.
2007-03-24 18:19:30 · answer #5 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were wrong for dating a married man and should have waited until after the divorce. But she is horrible to treat her husband with such disrespect. She drove him into another woman's arms! It isn't your fault he cheated but you are a cheating woman now. I am just glad I am not you. It must be awkward.
2007-03-24 18:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Trying♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no that will make things worse when you view somone as your enemy...would you want them to be nice to you...no because it makes it that much harder for you to hate them... you may feel a little responsible but just let sleeping dogs lie...what good would it do...it would not change a thing.
2007-03-24 18:21:18 · answer #7 · answered by 1.2..3...Boo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would that make you happy, or give you peace of mind? has he said something regarding you apologizing? otherwise, why does it matter to you know? if there is any real damage it is already done. what would it resolve.?
2007-03-24 18:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by la21unica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have to deal with her regulary? You should apologize that you didn't wait until after it was over to accept his invitations.
2007-03-24 18:19:27 · answer #9 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't apologize unless she decides to confront you.
2007-03-24 18:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by Ruth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋