My boyfriends parents (mainly his dad) don't seem to like me. I don't know what I did, but this has happened to us before. I thought that I had finally got them to like me, I have been trying pretty hard to show them I'm a good girl, but then all the sudden his dad tried to say I did something that I didn't. My boyfriend is really mad at him because he claims his dad has no right to hate me. I'm just so afraid that they will try to make him stop seeing me. What can I do?
2007-03-24 11:05:19 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
oh, and just so you know, he takes my side. he loves his parents and he has a lot of respect for them, but both times they did this to me, he stood up for me.
2007-03-24 11:12:07 · update #1
Are you his first girlfriend? If so, then he's probably just guarding his son's heart. If not, he's probably seen the type of girls his son is attracted to and doesn't want him hurt again, potentially. It's hard to convince someone you're a good person. You can't do it by doing nice things for them, like the first person said. You pretty much can't say or do anything, which is so frustrating. All you can do is gain their trust, which will take TIME. If you don't plan on staying with this guy long-term, his parents might never come around. When you go over to hang out, offer to help with the dishes after dinner. Show them you care for their son without wanting to jump his bones, you know? Play with his younger siblings, if he has them, and include the parents whenever possible (game/movie nights). This might sound crazy, but his parents are looking at the types of girls their teen likes, and it scares them a bit that he could eventually marry one of them in a few year's time. If you're willing to put in the effort, his parents will open up to you as one of their own kids. You do NOT want to pit the parents against their beloved son. You need their support for the relationship to thrive. As you've said, they could cut him off from you if they wished. Don't talk bad about his parents around him...that's th first step. Eventually they'll come around. Again, if you're not serious about this guy, you need to drop him, because his family is obviously very caring and involved in his life, and they want someone to love their son the same way they do. Hope that helped!!
2007-03-24 11:15:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sirius's Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have 2 step-sons, 19 and 16 and we too have had issues about certain girlfriends. Though we never go as far as to tell them how we feel.
I don't know what the dad thinks you did, but I will speak from my own experience. One big thing is if you lie one time its all over with, so avoid it at all costs no matter what the boy tells you to do! For us, watching my step-son cater to his girlfriends every whine is a little annoying. Having to listen to her be a drama queen is another unpleasant thing. Watching my step-son spend every cent he earned on his girlfriend also gets under our skin. And lastly worrying about how sexually active the two may be is very unsettling, especially when it seems the girl may be a little more provocative and experienced than our boys.
Behave well around his parents act as though you are in the presence of your grandma. And try telling your boyfriend stop getting angry with his dad regarding you, that only makes us think you are more of a problem.
Good luck and I hope it works out for you. I was once a young girl too and I know how it feels.
2007-03-24 11:19:33 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes there is nothing you can do. I dated a guy for awhile and his parents just hated me because they really liked the girl he was with before me. They didn't want to give anyone else a chance, even tho I'd been with him over a year. You could try sitting down, all of you and talking. Or have your b/f talk to his dad, which I would do anyways. Just keep in mind that you shouldn't have to change, if your b/f loves the way you are, it should be enough to his parents that you make him happy.
2007-03-24 11:10:32 · answer #3 · answered by shexynina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same thing has happened to me. It feels really crappy when someone doesn't like us with no good reason. I spent years trying to make the people who thought I wasn't good enough like me, but you know what, it never works. I have decided that I like who I am and that is really all that matters. I fall asleep at night in peace because I know that I am a good person. It sounds like your guy really cares for you, so don't worry, even if his parents say he can't see you anymore, it won't work. it might be more difficult for awhile, but eventually you'll both be adults and you can see whomever you want to whenever you feel like it. hang in there and don't let other people's insecurities about themselves get you down.
2007-03-24 11:27:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know it could be the she's not good enough for my child syndrome. I know many parents never think their childs choice in mates is a good one. I believe the only way to turn this around is to show them that your not just some female out for anything material but that you really love your boyfriend. It's the same for boys, a dad never thinks a boy is good enough for his daughter and therefore does all he can to destroy the relationship. Hold fast and just show them that you are good for their son.
2007-03-24 11:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's nothing really that you can do just stick by her man's side in good times n bad.once a parent hates u, they will try to find everything against so they will keep on hating.just love your man and ignore them if u can
2007-03-24 11:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kappy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show his dad u don't care what he thinks
people like this who hate people with no reason are enjoying the attention
stop trying to make him likes u, if u a good girl as u say, just be yourself, its very hard work to hate someone who's around u a lot
he will get tired of it eventually
2007-03-24 11:11:53 · answer #7 · answered by tzuzaman 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like the parents are the 'bad' ones here, not you. You can't change them. If your bf is going along with his parents and doesn't try to see your side of it, do you really want to date someone like that who will always take their side and not see yours?
2007-03-24 11:10:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Confront them. Let them know how much you care about their son and that you want to be able to get along with them. Let them know you haven't done anything wrong and that you hope you can all learn to get along with one another. Then, stand back and let them show you that they can respect someone, our of respect for their son.
2007-03-24 11:09:19 · answer #9 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you know yourself better than anyone else....i can tell that your bf trusts you....just be yourself! you dont need to please anybody...if you think you r doing the right thing, do it...if your bf's dad still do not know u r a good person, let him discover that...i am pretty sure soon he will realize what kind of person r u...just be yourself! goodluck!
2007-03-24 11:12:54 · answer #10 · answered by Phoebe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋