He is aware that I found out about it...he's planning a weekend with his fling the end of the month and his wife is totally clueless to it...I'm friends with her (perhaps not as close to her as I am to him) and now I feel awkward in her presence. How do I handle this? I love this guy like a brother and I'm not going to change his actions ... but ??? Do I remain friends with him? Should I tell the wife?
2007-03-24 11:03:08 · 10 answers · asked by JC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The answer is obvious: you tell her. You have an obligation to both of them. First to your friend he is a cheater. He is dishonest and unopen about problems in his life. Is this someone YOU can trust? I wouldn't. Second the wife. If you consider yourself to be her friend ACT like it. Tell her right away. Thats what friends do. If you don't you will be doing the exact same thing your friend does and thats not the type of person you should be.
2007-03-24 11:20:47 · answer #1 · answered by the_helpless_romatic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has put you in a very awkward situation. He wants you to keep his "dirty little secret", right? Personally, I won't cover for other people's bad behavior. If his wife finds out on her own (and they always do), she'll be doubly hurt that you (and others, possibly) kept the truth from her. That adds insult to injury, and I can't do that to someone I care about.
I'm a prick, so I'd tell him either HE tells his wife, or I will. If he has half a brain, he'll confess to her and try to fix whatever problems they may have in their marriage. As far as continuing to be his friend, I suppose that depends on whether he wants to grow up or not.
2007-03-24 18:20:14 · answer #2 · answered by Chris S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your friend, and tell him if he is aware of what he can lose, And if he thinks it is going to be worth it. Tell him that you feel bad for his wife. And tell him if he is not happy with his wife, why don't he go to a marriage counselor!
2007-03-24 18:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You see, JC... this is an ethical problem. I'm an expert in this because I've done a lot of studies on this subject...
The dilemma you're in makes the difference between individual and collective ethics...
My advice for you would be to stay out of it... It doesn't matter how much we try to persuade a person to give up doing something, he/she will always be the one to take the decision.
I assume you've warned your best friend that he's breaking up the rules of marriage (if not, I advise you to do it ! ). As a best friend you've done what was needed! That was your duty, to warn him ! You must not get involved in his personal life, because that would mean the end of your friendship.
To put it shortly, let him decide what's better for himself and his marriage. You can try to give arguments, to sustain them, but you ARE NOT allowed to get involved in his private life :)
2007-03-24 18:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by boy_out_of_hell 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Say to him, as a friend your only going to say this once and tell him he is living dangerously. Then mind your own business. I would also give him and his Mrs. a good period of staying away, it might shake him up and if worse comes to worse, his wife will understand you position with more credability.
2007-03-24 18:14:06 · answer #5 · answered by kellring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly what "sasenach" said. I couldn't have said it any better. The same rules apply even if the wife is your close, close friend. God bless.
2007-03-24 18:22:04 · answer #6 · answered by tin2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably talk to him. If he's cheating on his wife, that will hurt her alot when she finds out. So, you probably should talk to him about it. Tell him how much he's going to hurt her, tell him everything. If HE acts bitchy, then tell the wife, get back at him.
2007-03-24 18:08:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop the innocent wife a clue , annonomously would be best.....
phone call, email , whatever....she has a right to know and not be made a fool out of....and he deserves whatever the hell she does to him.....
you can always have a female call her....watch out for CALLER ID.. and just tip her off......please do it asap...
2007-03-24 18:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by STARZ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to your friend about his behavior and if he isn't going to tell his wife then you should because you'd save her a lot of pain!
2007-03-24 18:14:37 · answer #9 · answered by bellavita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nail his wife
2007-03-24 18:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋