2007-03-24 11:01:11 · 20 answers · asked by Lisa V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Me and my husband were living apart for a couple months just because I found a job where I was living and he could get a job easy where his mom lived. Anyway, he sent a message to a girl over the internet that, let's just say...I should've left him. That's how bad it was. But I stuck around and I expressed my concern to him about him having girls as friends cause that's pretty much the only friends he has, is girls. And yes, since that incident happened, it has left me very insecure, and I've lost most of my trust for my husband. He's tried over and over to reassure me that he would never do anything, but it's just hard after the man you thought would never do something like that, did. And when he's around his girl friends, he's very flirtacious and hugs and tickles them, right in front of me. While we were living apart and after that incident happened, he starts hanging out with this girl from his work and they went out to lunch together one day. Is it wrong?
2007-03-24 11:14:53 · update #1
Unless that girl is your daughter or his sister, probably not a good idea.
2007-03-24 11:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by Carol D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it appropriate for him to WANT to go places with a girl by himself? Sure. Is it appropriate to act on it? Not necessarily. To do it on a regular basis-absoulutely not.
An occassional lunch or perhaps a drink after work with a common friend or a co-worker is okay. "Hanging out" with another girl when his wife is not present is usually inappropriate-especially if it happens more than once. Flirting with and tickling other girls in front of his wife is just plain disrespectful.
In your husband's defense, he may just be getting carried away with himself by not realizing just how inappropriate his actions are. That's quite possible if he thinks you are okay with it. He obviously loves the attention, but it will almost certainly lead his temptation to stray.
2007-03-24 18:29:20 · answer #2 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's his mother, sister, aunt, grandma, sister in law, or a co-worker for lunch, then sure. Even a friend that you're BOTH friends with is okay to meet for a drink after work once in a while. But a regular thing with somebody you don't know very well? As a husband I don't think that's very appropriate. It doesn't look good for people to see him out all the time with somebody who's not his wife.
2007-03-24 18:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it is appropriate unless you have an open marriage. I started seeing someone as a friend for coffee but it quickly turned into an affair. There is always someone in the equation who has other motives to begin with even if your husband doesnt. Dangerous.
2007-03-24 20:02:21 · answer #4 · answered by lisalisa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To WANT to - absolutely... to actually do it... never! :) Unless, of course, it's family. Why don't you tell him to invite this girl over for a cook out on a Sunday with your family and see how it goes. It may be as innocent as you want to believe. I worked with people who were having an affair and they were so good they DID double date... They had no shame, obviously. It made me sick to watch.
2007-03-24 18:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely not! this is not the dating scene! you two are married and he should know better! If he wanted to go places with this girl he shouldn't have gotten married, you feel? This is just a fresh start to having an affair! Stand up and let him know what's up!
2007-03-24 18:29:21 · answer #6 · answered by bellavita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless that girl is some he's known even before you guys got married I'd keep a close eye on her.
2007-03-24 18:08:24 · answer #7 · answered by Indira B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife convinced me what she was doing was OKAY...now she's dating him, has my money, my kids and most likely will get married with the "boy". Say no now and you'll save yourself a lot of heartache later..not to mention expensive legal bills. Good luck...wish I would have said "no".
2007-03-24 18:06:47 · answer #8 · answered by Big_Daddy_Vez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely not.
I'm asking myself.....why does he even want to!!!
Is he saying this so that you might wake up?
Are you not interested in him anymore?
Have you stopped showing him that the best place for him is with you and you alone?
This is a marriage....and it takes two to make it work. You needn't work on your marriage, but must work on your love.
Get with it girl....show him that it is you he wants to take places.
2007-03-24 18:18:56 · answer #9 · answered by Sabine5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course its inappropriate,married people just don't normally do this, when they do theres got to be a reason why. i would speak to him, tell him how u feel about it. he may be having an affair, or planning on it. i would not allow him to disrespect me like that, u are his wife, and its u who should be going places with him, not her.
2007-03-24 18:06:57 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋