My brother in law is carer for his mother who has Alzheimers. We have proof that he has defrauded and stolen money from her. Yet she thinks he is wonderful and only wants him to care for her. In her fragile state do we just turn a blind eye or should we try to expose him and get the police involved? Its thousands of pounds involved plus smaller amounts weekly. Its a real dilemma and we need to know what is the best thing to do in these delicate circumstances. She of course is unaware of what is going on and trusts him completely.
2007-03-24 10:56:16 · 11 answers · asked by lemonadesparklecat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What do your instincts tell you?
If you walked into the room & caught him in the act - how would you react?
Would you say: "Oh, that's OK. So what? Take some more!"
Or would you feel outraged & call him a thief, without accepting any excuses?
You state your brother-in-law is her carer...
Does he look after his mum properly?
Or does he actually neglect her... not caring...
whilst abusing his position of trust?
If you're in the UK, contact 'Elder Abuse.' They will advise you.
In my opinion, old folk need looking after. This old lady needs someone to genuinely care about her...
Stealing from her, especially when she is so vulnerable, is horrible. I could not allow that to continue.
2007-03-24 12:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is what i think. It is her money and maybe she knows what he is doing or maybe she does not! But at the end of the day she's thinks the sun shines from his butt and always will and no matter what u do, u will be one who exposed him! at her age this is not what she needs.. Shes happy and he is not being violent to her and she loves having him around.. Imagine what will happen if he is no longer there, r u willing to care for her.. sometimes the stress of looking after an elderely person is more than one can bare, also take this into consideration. Could u do the job full time. People do strange things at this time. Maybe you should try and get a bigger look at this whole situation and not just look at it as him stealing even though he is..
Im not sure if this helps but im thinking purley of his mother in law. more than anything.
2007-03-24 11:06:47 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you should speak to him directly and let him know that you are aware he is taking the money. He is her carer and probably has rights of attorney of the money as she can't deal with it. In the end, if his mother is being well cared for and he calms down the taking, then be pragmatic - its only money. And just for the record, looking after someone with Alzheimers is torture minute by minute so don't underestimate what a carer for that condition has to go through. Talk to him first and see what he has to say for himself.
2007-03-24 11:04:51 · answer #3 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to the authorities NOW. She deserves much better treatment than she is receiving, and you are the ones who can - and must - help her.
Speak with a solicitor and find out what you can do. Elder abuse is a growing problem - and it will only be solved when everyone becomes involved.
Thank you for doing your part.
2007-03-24 11:06:16 · answer #4 · answered by MomBear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi , justicemaker2@o2.ie
This is a Shocking thing to do to anyone , this Fellow is SCAMING MONEY OFF HIS POOR MOTHER .
Turn him in , he is no better than a 419 Scammer in which is Financhal Fruad .
Take a Look at this see how to Report him in Style. http://search.conduit.com/Results.aspx?q=How%20to%20report%20Financial%20frau%20&ctid=CT412288
2007-03-24 11:28:28 · answer #5 · answered by Jimmy C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police
He will only continue or even get worse, I'm sure if she was of sound mind then she would be devastated and want him punished. Good luck, what a horrible situation
2007-03-24 11:29:16 · answer #6 · answered by keeley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take your evidence to police, its in the best interest of his mom, he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it its sick to rob off an old lady let alone your own mom
2007-03-24 11:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by RACHEL B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd get the police!
2007-03-24 11:01:09 · answer #8 · answered by I know nothing! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think age concern would give u advice
and help u need
www.ageconcern.com
2007-03-24 11:09:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please take my Advice report him , this is wrong , this is a Crime against his Mothers Civil Rights as an old Person and I persume a GRANDPARENT .
Please take a Look at this ...
http://search.conduit.com/Results.aspx?q=FRAUD%20STOLEN%20MONEY%20FROM%20AN%20OLD%20PERSON%20BY%20THEIR%20CHILD%20&ctid=CT412288
Please Visit http://cps-victims.wetpaint.com
2007-03-24 11:14:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋