I have this friend and she's getting really stressed out because she won't let her feelings out because she can only think about everyone else. I need her to think about herself for once! What can I do?
2007-03-24 10:51:38 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You can't make her change, she has to want to change herself. Make her feel like she is worthy of more than just being around for others. If she can see your point, she may decide to do more for herself vs. others. Please remember, that if she is really selfless, then doing something for herself will only make her feel guilty, not happy. Some people gain more satisfaction helping others vs. doing for themselves. I think the world would be a better place if we had more people like your friend!
2007-03-24 10:58:19 · answer #1 · answered by econgal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your friend is co-dependent. It is easier to deal with everyone else's problems, wants and issues, then her own. I don't know if she has parents who are addicts, alcoholics, or abusers, normally we can trace co-dependency back to something with the family of origin. She really needs to get into a support group like alanon, it helps deal with codependency issues. Good luck, it sounds as if you care about your friend a great deal.
One thing to start that will be helpful. If you catch her giving up her rights( time, money or energy), forsaking them for someone else's benefit. Call her on it. Ask her why, when she says, well... they need it... ask her if she doesn't need "it", get what I am saying, make her think it through, instead of just saying yes, I will. You also might try asking her things that would be absolutely painful, like give me your cell phone for 2 days. Or borrow her favorite shirt, when she says yes, show her how messed up that is. That you were not serious, just trying to prove a point. Good luck to both of you! You are a good friend, to want to help her.
2007-03-24 17:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by cunhvn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her one on one like at dinner at your house
and point out all the things that she has put before herself when she shouldnt have
explain that you and her friends will still love her the same if she does stuff for herself and says no to you and her friends once in a while
2007-03-24 18:00:55 · answer #3 · answered by darklightingcat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to show her the results of being so careless about herself , when she realize they are not that positive , i guess she will take action , and also tell her , that the people she helps wanna see her as a helped person too!!
2007-03-24 17:56:04 · answer #4 · answered by damoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to be around people who try to keep doing things for her and about her and with her.
2007-03-24 17:56:37 · answer #5 · answered by melvinbarnes30 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋