am i 2 young to come out?

Question

im 13 & im bi. my parents always think theres something weird about me. at what age should i tell them that i likes girls alot more than boys? my mom always tells me, "soon ur gonna have a bf so u better act girly". i DONT want a boyfriend, and i only have guys as friends. my best friend is a guy and no matter how much i tell my mom hes not my bf and i dont like him, she still thinks i do and he likes me. i cant take it no more. i dont know if my parents r against homo people, but i hear them say, "its a sickness!!! those people r sick to the brain" whenever they see a gay boy or a lesbian girl. im mad scared. no1 has ever been gay in my family so i dont know how they will react. i need to know how old i gotta be to tell them i want a girlfriend.

Answer 1

Hi there. First of all, I'm truly sorry for your predicament, and I really hope that everything works out for you. Coming out is absolutely terrifying, especially if your parents are less than tolerant on the subject.

To answer your question, no, I don't think you're too young to come out. I was only a little bit older than you (I was 14) when I came out to my parents. My only precaution to you, however, is to decide whether you're bisexual or a lesbian before you come out. You said you are bisexual, but you also stated later on that you don't want a boyfriend. I ask you this question because a lot of gay people (myself included) play it safe at first by stating that they are bisexual. That way, at least, there is a chance that our parents might think, "Oh, there's a chance that you might have a 'normal' relationship after all. Okay, this isn't so bad." It's almost like a safety harness, if you think about it. But if it does turn out that you are bisexual, then that is simply who you are. You should embrace it!

I really understand how frightened you must be. I was raised by two old-country parents (a Greek father and Arabic mother) so you can probably understand how difficult that was for me. Their immediate reaction after I came out was to send me off to a psychiatrist. When I told the psychiatrist why I was there, she laughed and told me that my parents should have been the ones seeing her, not me. Years later, my father is accepting of my sexuality, and my mother refuses to talk about the subject. But you know what? I feel wonderful for having told them...like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

You have no idea how good you will feel once you unleash this burden and be true to who you are. It will feel like you are opening your eyes for the very first time. Good luck to you, and always remember that love, in all of its forms, is beautiful!

Answer 2

I came out when I was 20, but I already realised that I was gay when I was 12. Looking back I can even recall crushes on other boys when I was 9.
So you are not too young to know that you are gay/bi.

On the other hand: you are too young to live on your own, so if your parents react extremely negative, you will have a problem.

My advise: when you parents start teasing/talking about boyfriends, just tell them that boys are stupid and you don't ever want to have a boyfriend. Your parents will see this as teenage-behaviour and probably smile and tell you that you will think differently in a few years time.

You don't have to tell them that they are wrong. They will find out. Somebody suggested that you better come out when you are 18. That might be a good goal.

Sounds like an eternity, I know, but in the meantime you could challenge your parent's view on gays/lesbians, by saying that you don't think that gays/lesbians are sick. By asking what is wrong with loving someone, even if the other person is someone of the same sex.
Perhaps their views will change, and you can come out when you are 15 or 16.

Answer 3

I would say don't tell them. Thats simply because of a self-fish reason - no not self-fish but a valid reason. The reason why you shouldn' is because theres a chance that their homophobia could drive them to kick you out. Trust me you do not want that. So like many have said - wait till you're 18, when you're old enough to move out and can stand on your own two legs(i know you can literally but I mean this metaphorically - haha). But with everyone else (by that i mean people who won't tell your parents about you - feel free to tell them - but make sure that you can take them - if they decide to gay bash ya! Lol - I don't mean to sound like a crazed out person but i'm just thinking of the worst case scenarios for you to avoid! GOOD LUCK!! POWER TO THE GAYS!!

Answer 4

I don't think a person is ever too young to come out, but I'd talk to someone you completely trust about your situation. Your school counselor should be able to help. Maybe he/she can arrange an appointment with your parents so you can come out with the counselor supporting you so you won't be quite so afraid. My son is 18 and is gay, but I suspected he was back in elementary school. It's possible your parents think you are, but are afraid to ask you. You were born the way you are, don't ever be ashamed of that. Some may say it's a sickness, but these people are just uneducated and fear something they are not familiar with. We're thinking of you.

Answer 5

Any age as soon as you're sure of your sexuality. If your parents start pressing you about it too much you can either try to pull away from them and avoid them finding out until you're able to survive on your own. Or, you can just say something like, "Mom, I only like him as a friend. I like girls waaay more than guys."

Answer 6

i would suggest joining a gay youth group.
& don't come out until you are financially stable and able to support yourself. if you come out and they throw you out or whatever you can go into foster care and request gay moms or dads. but you may be shipped from group home to group home. congrats on discovering you you truely are.
your soul has done some very hard work in life.

Answer 7

You are who you are. You don't have to tell them if you aren't ready, but don't be unhappy because you are scared. If you're attracted to girls and that's what's natural to you there is nothing wrong with it. You'll know when the time is right to let them know.

Be Yourself No Matter What!!

Answer 8

i had a boyfriend that broke up with me because he was gay he is 16 he had a really hard time telling me and an even harder time telling his mom but his mom loved him so much that she didn't care who he chosed to love
if your parents really care they will see your side of the story and accept you for who you are and love will find you one day
good luck i believe in you

Answer 9

Yes

Answer 10

wait until you are 18, that way you are old enough to live on your own in case they disagree with your lifestyle.. Anyway, you don't have to tell them that you like women... it's not their business who you have an interest in...