Well first of all God know I love my husband of eight years, but latley we have been fighting alot latley, well he is a good husband good dad and everybody loves him, well I just had my last daughter 8 month ago and have been feeling very depressed and I guess I just always want my husband to be more open with me about our mairrage and when I brign it up he never wants to talk about it all he says is lets do it my way, well what is his way I have no idea I guess it is egnore me and try to always pretand as if there is nothing going on well I have been doing this for two years now and I am very tiered of it I feel I have to be here cause of my kids and cause of all our bills and car payment and ect. well I am very confused right now that is why I am hear pouring my heart out please tell me what i should do.
2007-03-24 10:37:15 · 22 answers · asked by jozlilnanjos 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Eight years is a long time. Maybe you should talk to your husband about what is going on and if he tries to avoid the emotional conversation (like most men do, sadly enough because as they were growing up someone told them men don't do that) tell him that his way is not working and you are unhappy and if he wants to be a good husband your emotional state would be a priority to him. I have seen my share of men who just don't want to hear it but there are men who will love you so much they would not only walk across fire for you but also they would sit down and have that uncomfortable conversation just for you.
2007-03-24 10:45:51 · answer #1 · answered by rosser_girl_68 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you don't leave him. You stick it out until you guys get past this. You write him a letter. He will read it. He can't cut you off. You leave it for him when you know he will be alone and you never ask him about it. You wait and see how he responds. Be prepared for the biggest fight ever JUST IN CASE he doesn't respond well. But on the other hand - hopefully he'll finally see how you really feel. Let it be 1/2 a page to 12. Just let him know everything. Let me know if it works.
2007-03-24 10:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think that is the longest sentance I have ever read.
Second. You have been married to him for 8 years, and I'm assuming he is still the same man you married 8 years ago since you mention you've been trying to change him for only the last two years. Men will never be as open about their feelings as women are. Ever.
You say you still love him, so why consider leaving him?
2007-03-24 10:49:12 · answer #3 · answered by Deus Luminarium 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! What is it with people these days? First little bit of fighting, they want to pack up and leave! My Parents have been together for 37years. Do you think there was ever a part when it was rocky? DAMN RIGHT! But they worked through it and so can you! So just stick with it but dont give away your respect.
2007-03-24 10:41:30 · answer #4 · answered by Jeremy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y should u...he's a great father and plus u love him to death...u know that if u do take that step...u'll never find one like him...u'll never find a man that will treat ur kids like him especially u...me n my husband fight everyday...and we have only been married for a yr and a half...think about it...i think it's just that u had ur child...that's y u are so depression...u should probably try to take a FAMILY AMD CONSUMER SCIENCE class...like me...then u'll understand y he doesn't open up....i learned that most guys do not open up...they prefer not to show their sensitive side because it'll make them look like they are wimps...i also learned that we women are very indirect and we are good at hurtin men's feeling...n i was thinkin bout it...n yes we women are more emotional and show more of our selves than men...if he's great...he's a keeper cause u don't want to start over with someone else....u'll probably break ur husbands heart...
2007-03-24 10:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by mao v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible you may be depressed due to post-partum depression? I think you need to see a counselor and also see a marriage counselor with your husband. Doing it 'his way' is no solution...he needs to know how you feel. And if he doesn't care then MAKE him care. Don't let him continue to down-play your feelings like you are some second class citizen.
2007-03-24 10:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first go the doctors about your depression, and accept any help they can give you. make your husband read about depression and how it effects you. this helped my husband when i went through it. he probably doesn't know how to handle it so he just pretends everything is OK, but this makes you feel worse. maybe he could go to the doctors with you. honestly there is light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just getting there after two years of help. good luck
2007-03-24 10:46:08 · answer #7 · answered by RACHEL B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay with the old man things are hard today and they would get harder if you go . Divorce is a messy thing . Being that you have an 8 month old its really going to be hard. Try to hold off and maybe try doing things that you like and don't worry or argue with him . You maybe having the motherhood blues
2007-03-24 10:49:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pleas try more to talk things ovr with him.If he still egnore you try to invite family or church member to talk to him.Try to show him you love him dearly and how you will went him to be the guy you first met eight years ago.But do not think about leave because it will not solve any problem but increase hate between both of you.Take care it will be nice once again.
2007-03-24 10:48:56 · answer #9 · answered by ebiyedinak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand you being somewhat depressed. We all need love and attention. I would ask him (when everything is going good) to sit and discuss your feelings. Don't throw stones by accusing. Just say something like "When so and so happens, I feel sad or left out or what ever you really feel. The key word here is FEEL. Good luck.
2007-03-24 10:43:45 · answer #10 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋