A girl like anyother person learns & shares so much before she moves into the life of a person.How much defensive she should be towards her Male friends as compared to her husband.
Is hiding things from husband on the pretext that he may not take things in sprit justifies.please advise.
An occasionally confronted husband in India
2007-03-24 10:18:56 · 13 answers · asked by crazy1000 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Thanks for the responses Just to clarify, on the answers received. I am not comfortable with just one friend who is hesitant to speak in front of me. Who would call her and even ask if I was around. Though that friend was well known in girl’s house& lived nearby, taught her Car driving and so on...I can’t appreciate such friends.
I understand that friends are great company & great encouragement at times but keeping friends whom your husband does not approve is a source of conflict at times.
What would be your advice i keep blind or just keep my ears open? I am v possessive about my wife & love her a lot
2007-03-24 10:40:23 · update #1
I do not completely understand the question...but will give it a shot anyway.
I had many male friends before I found my husband. And my husband had many female friends before we married. We talked about this before we got married and came to the conclusion that we would keep the friends around that were willing to get to know the new spouse and befriend him/her. Well that turned out to be only one of my male friends, someone whom I call my "big brother." My husband was somewhat uncomfortable about us talking without him around, but staying true to his promise, as long as my "big brother" was friends with him...he could remain a big factor in my life. I will say there are some things I share with my big brother that I do not share with my husband....but not very much. There are now things my husband shares with my "big brother" that is does not share with me. We have discussed this many times and we both feel comfortable with this. I NEVER MEET WITH MY BIG BROTHER WITHOUT MY HUSBAND! The only time I talk to him wihtout my hubby is on the phone! This is just common safety precautions.
As for my other male friends, some of them know things about me that my husband may or may not know ever. I think that is to be expected....there are things he has told me he doesn't want to know. But the best thing is to be in communication about what each of you are comfortable with and work out your own plan from there!
2007-03-24 10:28:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pre-marriage Friends Vs Husband for a women?
2014-12-12 23:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a few male friends that I grew up with. I do not keep anything from my husband, and he has met most of them. (there's one that moved and we keep in touch online, and a couple that I haven't seen in a while) They all know about and respect my realationship--even the one that doesn't get along with my husband. For my hubbys part, he respects the friendship that I have had with these guys that go back before we knew each other. I would never "sneak off" to see/talk to any of them, bc no matter how innocent it may be, it doesn't look right. Besides, if it was so innocent, I wouldn't have to sneak around. I would tell your wife that if she's not doing anything wrong, there's no reason to keep anything from you. But you also have to be comfortable enough in your relationship to see her friends as just that-friends.
2007-03-31 11:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by dmarie2101 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a summing that you are from another country! I am American. I personally don't keep friends that my husband doesn't approve of. As a matter of fact, we have the same friends. We don't do anything with out consulting the other first. If we go somewhere we call the other and tell them that is what we are doing and make sure they have no problem with us doing what we are doing. Marriage is a 50/50 deal. Always. That is the way I do things.
2007-03-30 09:36:26 · answer #4 · answered by joannlbeck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do keep your eyes and ears open! It sounds to me like they have something to hide, especially if the male friend is asking if you are around! I see nothing wrong with having male friends, but if you are a married person, NEVER do anything sneaky or suspicious, or behind your spouses back. All that does is breed mistrust. YOU should be your wife's best friend. She should not be defensive of her male friend, unless you are being unreasonable in accusations or demands. If she is being defensive for no reason, i would worry that there is something more than friendship going on. You need to have a serious talk with your wife, but stay calm when you do, you'll get better results. Good luck!
2007-03-31 15:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by Carrie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife should have male friends especially the ones she has had in her life a long time. But I do feel like that if a male friend feels he can't be comfortable around you he has issues. She may be feeling as though he is a friend but the guy may feel like he has feeling for her and so this may make him feel weird talking in front of you. I have many guy friends and my husband is comfortable with all but they are very friends and go out of their to speak with my husband so he has no reason to be jealous. I hide nothing from my husband when it comes to my male friends that way we never have any issues!
2007-03-31 07:53:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you are trying to ask here.
Are you worried that your wife is too imtimate with her male friends that she knew prior to knowing you?
If so, chill out--women are very good at knowing friends from lovers--men not as much so they can find it more difficult to separate that women can do this.
But they can--take heart! Leave your wife be for heaven's sakes & just go get some friends of your own!
2007-03-24 10:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by belligerent assistant 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep the old green eyed monster know as jealousy in check! You had friends of both sexes prior to getting married so it is only normal that your wife would have also. You selected your wife and she selected you. Are you scheming to have an affair with every girl you used to know? Your wife isn't scheming either. Lighten up and have a little faith in her until something happen that proves you can't trust her.
2007-04-01 00:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEING POSSIVE IS NOT HEALTHY. IF YOU WANT TO KEEP HER I WOULD SLACK OFF. SHE WILL LEAVE YOU IF YOU DON'T GIVE HER ROOM TO BREATH. I WOULD SAY HER FRIEND ASKS IF YOU ARE AROUND OUT OF RESPECT FOR YOU AND NOT TAKING UP YOUR TIME WITH YOUR WIFE. HE DOES NOT WANT TO CAUSE PROBLEMS BETWEEN YOU. HE STILL WILL CONTACT HER THEY ARE FRIENDS THAT IS WHAT FRIENDS DO. I HAVE A BUDDY FROM SCHOOL TIME. WE TALK ABOUT ONCE A WEEK. WE ARE BEST FRIENDS IN THE FALL HE AND I TOOK OUR OLDER CHILDREN CAMPING WHILE OUR SPOUSES STAYED HOME WITH THE LITTLE ONES. (OTHER FRIENDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL WERE THERE WITH THEIR CHILDREN) IT WAS INOCENT, NOTHING HAPPENED. WE ARE NOT ROMANTICLY ENVOLVED (AND WERE IN HIGHSCHOOL) NOTHING BUT CAMPING AND PARENTING HAPPENED. OUR SPOUSES TRUST US, AND IF YOU TRUST AND LOVE YOUR WIFE THEN GIVE HER SPACE. I;M NOT SAYING LET HER GO CAMPING I AM SAYING LET HER TALK ON THE PHONE.
2007-03-31 04:31:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you define a good girl?
2017-02-14 00:32:53 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋