he was my "first" an he has been my only an i have feelings for him but i dont want to lose him as a friend what should i do
2007-03-24 09:58:03 · 8 answers · asked by babygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ask the hard question and be ready for the hard answer.
"do you see our relationship going anywhere beyond friendship?"
but be prepared for his answer. if he says no or any form of no: "i never looked at you that way" "you're like a sister to me" "not right now" "i'm not ready for a relationship" "i would hate to ruin our friendship" blah blah blah.
if he says anything even close to that take your feelings and find someone else to bestow them on.
trust me, i asked my current b/f (former friend) that exact question and he said most of those things so i told him the "friends w/ benefits thing doesn't work for me" and immediately stopped sleeping with him. it only took a few months before he changed his mind. my feelings were hurt for a while but it was worth it in the end :-)
good luck!
2007-03-24 10:08:58 · answer #1 · answered by latreceh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you've been "friends" for 12 years and that he was your "first"? So the question is why weren't you guys in a relationship up to this point? Have you never talked about being in a monogamous relationship? And how do you think he feels about you? Sometimes when we women go through that desperate lonely phase (we all go through it from time to time) we start thinking about all the missed opportunities and start trying to take the easy way out ...sorta like digging at the bottom of the back to see what comes up. Be honest with yourself and really decide if this is THE ONE, or are you just tired of searching...
2007-03-24 10:07:15 · answer #2 · answered by 4Leaf Clover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I wouldn't just say it out of the blue because that could jeopardize your friendship and that's probably an important thing to you. I would try flirting w/ him a lil and c how he reacts. If he flirts back you should keep progressing from there. After a little while I would tell him how u feel, hell probably feel the same way bout you.
2007-03-24 10:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't U think a 12 yr relationship should be going somewhere? Hey, so he's your first; I would have been out of there 11 yrs ago. Go find yourself a real man with a job.
2007-03-24 10:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by Jim W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should tell him how u feel and no matter what happens, u guys still stay friends.
2007-03-24 10:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by asdfjkll; 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you think youe in love just ask him if he thinks the same way and mabye he will say yes so go for it and if he don't just be close friends.
2007-03-24 10:02:01 · answer #6 · answered by cutie pie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him know how you feel about him, tell him no matter what you would always want to remain friends with him.
2007-03-24 10:01:07 · answer #7 · answered by firefly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
till him that you have fellings for him...maybe he fell that same way you are
2007-03-24 10:02:49 · answer #8 · answered by frieza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋