My husband had said he wanted another child. He said we could start trying for the 2nd when our daughter turns

Question

2 years of age.
I was so happy when he said that! I really want another baby...

NOW he says he "changed his mind" and that he DOES NOT want another child. But I want another child.... What can we do?
I need some advice...

Thanks!

I'm the ONLY caregiver... he hardly ever wants to change a diaper or feed her...
And it's not a financial reason either, we could very well afford another child.

Answer 1

Talk to him about why exactly he doesn't want another child. Is it timing? Do you have financial issues? You need a good discussion to get to the bottom on this. Ask him for a time-frame to have another child. Let him know how much you want another baby but don't nag him.

Answer 2

So I'm assuming your daughter isn't 2 yet, right? I don't know how old she is, but those first 2 years are rough. If you're still dealing with those late night feedings, and all that stuff, it could quite possibly be sleep deprivation talking rather than him.

Also, are you giving him enough attention? Many wives become totally wrapped up in the baby, and their poor husband's are left on the sidelines wondering what the heck happened to their wife, because there's this crazed woman who hovers around this baby, screams at him that he'll wake up the baby, and he never gets any nookie because of the baby. Why don't you leave the baby with a sitter (grandma's work great for this) and plan a romantic evening with your hubby, maybe even stay overnight in a hotel. Also, weekly date nights are so important, especially when you're raising children.

If your daughter isn't even 2 yet, I honestly wouldn't worry about it at this point. Enjoy the child you've been blessed with, but remember to work on your marriage as well. Remember, you loved your husband LONG before this baby showed up, and hopefully you'll be loving and living with your husband long after this child grows up and leaves home. A friend of mine tells his kids that they're just furniture, and their mother is the most important person to him. They always thought that was just the most crass thing, UNTIL they got married themselves. THEN they realized he was right. Your marriage IS more important than that baby, yes, even right now. Don't neglect the marriage for the baby's sake.

Answer 3

You are in a marriage...not a dictatorship. His word is not final. That said, you do not want to bring another child into the family if both parents are not supportive. I think you need to sit down and talk to him, telling him how important it is to you to have another child and how much you had been looking forward to it since this is what was decided. Perhaps a compromise of this being the 'last one', if he is concerned about money, etc.

I think this is going to be a tough one....either he is going to relent and stick with the original plan, he is going to refuse and then you are going to be left to suck it up or you will just get pregnant anyway (which I do not recommend!). I think marriage is a series of compromises.......when one person does all the compromising, it very quickly turns from a happy relationship to a controlling dictatorship.

Answer 4

From a parent who only wanted 1 - LISTEN TO YOUR HUSBAND! :) Otherwise... tell him how you feel, give him time. It's a hard age to have another. You finally get past all the baby stages and you want to start over? Give him some time and don't rush it. Look at who the primary caregiver is. If it's you and you stay home - you have more leverage. If you are paying daycare or he is caring for the child the majority of the time... consider his side as priority. Maybe he feels financially insecure? Maybe he's overwhelmed? TALK IT OUT!

Answer 5

Why should you be the only one to have the responsilbity to prevent pregnancy, stop taking your birth control and tell him that if he really doesn't want to have another child right now, that he needs to take on the responsibility of birth-control and that he needs to use a condom every time the two of you have sex, no exceptions, that way if you do get pregnant he can't say he was tricked into it because it is his responsibility to prevent it.

When a child is meant to be born, nothing not even birth control can stop it, my daughter is living proof, she is a Patch and condom baby.

Answer 6

talk to him. ask him what made him change his mind? let him know how you feel about having another child in the house. maybe the two of you can come to an agreement when would be the best time for the both of you.

Answer 7

I wonder why he changed his mind. Do you think there might be some hanky panky going on that your not aware of? There must be a reason. To say another child is welcome, then change your mind!! The two of you need to sit down and talk about the reasons why not. You have to figure this one out yourself..

Answer 8

Have you talked to him about why he does not want
another child? Can you afford another child without
causing financial problems?

Answer 9

well I bet what happen was he thought he would like another child and then when he was raising your daughter he seen how hard it was...and doesnt want that agian right now..
I think you should wait until your daughter starts school..so it wont be to hard on the both of you!

Answer 10

well i think he doesnt want another child maybe because your daughter has been a little annoying but thats ok!! just tell him that your daughter would be awfully lonely without a sibling and my mom had 4 kids but we've been annoying but its a good feeling having kids and u'll learn things from them and learn to love them...hope that helps!