Why does hubby's family think it's o.k. to treat me like crap and still come by and visit?

Question

They say tings like"I love you but I don't want to talk to her"...."I love you and your kids but Idon't like her"..Do they not understand that they are MY kids and MY house also?

Does anyone else have in-laws like this?

Answer 1

Well,

why does the hubby put up with that?

Tell him to grow some balls and correct the situation!!!
He is supposed to protect his wife from all,,,, including his family!!!!

I know I would,, and I have!!

Answer 2

this sounds like you have either done something to make them dislike you ..... or..... someone has gone behind your back and said things about you or things that you may have said about them....and so now they are judging you, because if it is the latter.....then they are thinking....well if she has said all these things about me/us and does not like us, then we just don't have to put up with that....lets give her a real reason to talk junk. Do you understand what I am trying to say? If you have done neither...and did not come into this relationship with any type of past reputation that was unbecoming of a daughter-in-law, then I would think that your husband would go have a talk with them, and say ..... hey, she is my wife, I love her and you will respect her. You cannot come into our home and treat her the way you do.....and you will not talk bad about our children's mother.....if you do, you will not see the children anymore. Your husband should be standing up for you.....but if you have done something to them or said anything about them...then it is hard for him to defend you......good luck

Answer 3

I have an inlaw I don't like - is it you? I want to see my brother-in-law and his kid, but not her. I don't tell HIM that. And I am not mean to her face, nor do I talk bad about her to other family members. Is there anything you are doing? Do you have a history with your husband they can't let go of? I felt like my husbands family didn't like me for quite some time - eventually, he stopped hanging around with them so much. I had not done anything - they just assumed it was me keeping him from them, while it was his job and I didn't see him either! Who knows what people are thinking. Some people are just irrational and immature.

Answer 4

They act that way because your husband allows it.
And, yes, my in laws are atrocious also, except they only say things to me when my husband is out of the room.
Guess who he believes?

They are having a family get together in 2 months. He is going and I and the children are staying home. it doesn't matter what you say or do, NO ONE will ever be good enough for their son/brother.

My husband doesn't like the fact that we are not going with him...but, too bad.
He'll have to be the one coming up with the excuses. It's a weight off of my shoulders.

Answer 5

Oh thats ok. Mine talk behind my back then show up all the sudden all nice and "twofaced" expecting to get something out of us ! Its ridiculous. Now I just act equally snobby to them and say far out comments to the mother in law that i know are far fetched. I wonder how she likes it? Also if they show up unannounced I'll make a comment such as "Oh I didnt know I was having company today?" or " Oh did you need something cause you only come over when you want something". She hates it. and I dont give two s***s!!!!!

Answer 6

It is not OK, and your husband should stick up for you, telling his family if they cannot treat you with respect then they aren't welcome in your home.

However, please ask yourself why this is happening and if you are doing anything that contributes to their dislike of you. It isn't fair for your husband to be forced to choose between his wife and his family if there is any possible way for this problem to get better. For the sake of your kids and your husband, extend an olive branch and try. Treat his family well. If they don't respond appropraitely after a period of time, well then--it should be their loss.

Answer 7

Your husband should be just as bothered by this just as much as you are. He's supposed to be his wife's "keeper". He isnt protecting you and he quite frankly is LETTING them say very disrespectful things. Just like anyone, if you allow something to go on, they will continue to do it. He needs to step the he*ll up and put his family in check. He CHOSE you to be his wife and he should stand up FOR you, no matter what!

Answer 8

They think it's all right because your husband hasn't stood up to them and spoken up for you. He has the responsibility for dealing with such problems; hold him accountable and insist he do whatever is needed such that your in-laws treat you with the respect and care you deserve as his wife and the mother of your children.

Accept nothing less.

Answer 9

My mother was the same way with every girlfriend I ever had. You need to tell your husband how much it bothers you and he should stand up for you and let his parent know that if they are going to behave that way to you, they are not welcome in your home. If he won't do that, then you better do some serious soul searching because it will never change and that's no way to live.

Answer 10

My in-laws live 2500 miles away, fortunately. I definitely don't like all of them or expect them to like me. We do teach people how to treat us though. So, I would keep a lid on things and not let them see how much they are getting to you. That gives them more satisfaction then if you just act in a way that is civil and kind.

Hate is easy. It takes more courage to be gentle and kind.

Answer 11

your husband should put a stop to this straight away, your his family now. i would say if your going to disrespect me then don't come round anymore and keep the kids away its not good them hearing you being put down like that, but tell your husband if he wants to see them he'll have to go alone.