my boyfriend was very close to his ex girlfriend. they had a 4 yr relationship but then she left him to marry another guy bcoz that time my bf wasnt settled and she was afraid her parents wud reject him. It took him almost 2 yrs to get over her.
Its been a yr since we r in a relationship and i love him lots. but his past bothers me and im spoiling our relation bcoz of it. I still think that he'll never love me the way he loved her. We've discussed this n he says he hates her, n now im the only girl in his life..
How do i get over my insecurity?
2007-03-24 09:26:14 · 16 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, one of the first things to remember is....He will NEVER love you like he loved her. Why, because every relationship is different.
Sorry to be blunt, but for you to want him to love you like he loved her would bring more problems than you, In My veiw, are willing to take on.
Each relationship is different. Each person is different and as time goes on, people change. To have him love you like he loved her, would also bring into his and your relationships the problems that he had with her. It's not right.
My suggestion for you to get over your insecurity is realize that your relationship with him is new. Different.
We make our relationships what we want them to be. If you try the relationship is going to be great, if you don't then it will faulter and the fire will fizzle.
Try to realize that YOU are with him, not her or anyone else. If he hasn't given you a reason to worry then don't do it. Be content with him. Enjoy being with him, and put his exgf out of your mind. I'm sure he tries to. I'm also sure that you bringing her up all the time probably irritates him a bit.
Relax, unless something drastic comes up that makes you believe otherwise, don't worry about it. You got him. He has you. What's the problem?
2007-03-24 09:39:08 · answer #1 · answered by Enigma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have acknowledged the problem. It is YOUR insecurity. And you are right you will loose this relationship over your insecurities if you don't get over them. Focus on the great things about your relationship and how well he treats you. That other girl has moved on and is married. She isn't a threat at all. Love your man and be thankful you have him. Don't drive him crazy and away because of something that is never going to happen.
Good luck!
2007-03-24 09:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its hard but try not to bring her up and remember that he isn't thinking of her untill YOU bring her up. Maybe that will help you stop. I am speaking form experience. This feeling you are having SUCKS. I know. Sorry. Just try and focus on the fact that he is with you. No mater how many other girls there are before us,we are still the ones they are with! Don't spoil anyone it is not good. Just treat him nice and loving and honest.
2007-03-24 09:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to look at yourself more than anything, it doesnt sound like he's doing anything wrong. How do you feel about yourself? Are you confident, feel attractive, etc. No relationship is the same and he may have loved someone else differently then he loves you but it doesn't mean its less or more. If you continue this you will end up pushing him away.
2007-03-24 09:30:26 · answer #4 · answered by zombiez8me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had once read that men take a longer time to get over break-ups. Hard to believe right? Well maybe he was just going through that phase and clearing it up. Remind yourself that he loves you now, and if you need to, talk to him more about it so he can keep reassuring that. Good luck and I hope this helps! =]
2007-03-24 09:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by j.adore♥pink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes u just cant get ur insecurity to go away but u can just let it rest. Dont worry becuz if u worry alot then u will build stress. I think u shud just beleve wat he says for now. Thats probable the only way u can actually get ova the insecurity. Dont be afraid of small things. The day u see sumthin different from wat he says is the day that u kan actually beleve that. So dont worry. I hope this helps u
2007-03-24 09:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by Tadia B ♥ ****** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let time prove you wrong. I had a similar problem - then I married him. I thought "You know - he didn't marry her." Then we had children together "He didn't have children with her" Eventually - those insecurities SHOULD go away. It's been almost 11 years married for us - she could come visit and it wouldn't bother me. Sometimes - it just takes time and actions.
2007-03-24 09:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he talk about her much or do you see her loads..... if so then talk to him and tell him about you insecurity.... maybe he will change.... if she is not around or mentioned then all you have to do is think about the future..... don't dwell on the past..... he may have written a chapter of his life and closed it..... and now there is loads of time for the two of you to write a chapter...... or two
2007-03-24 09:41:46 · answer #8 · answered by Sarie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do u love him the way u loved ur ex? or even more or less? well I think right now is he the only one in ur heart & life and vice versa
2007-03-24 09:59:52 · answer #9 · answered by Lemi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just always think n remember u r not the 1st girl with a guy that has had a relationship b4!!!...its normal ! just belief hiim!!
2007-03-24 09:33:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋