I'm in a common law relationship, I've known her for a year and a half now but live together now for two months. I borrowed her computer (with permission) to long onto my yahoo e-mail. I guess I left without signing out but never the less it was closed. Not being signed out it leaves my name on yahoo homepage and when she seen that she apperently looked into my e-mail account.
I have been faithful towards her in the fact that I have not messed around on her. But I had placed ads on Craigs List in the naughty areas in search of fun. Why did I do it? I really don't know, maybe to see if people really do respond to ads there. But I would never have cheated on her. I feel like I'm the one violated here.
2007-03-24 09:13:39 · 9 answers · asked by Handyman Dan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think your more guilty.
Yes it was wrong for her to go searching through your email, however you were more wrong doing that. Regardless if you actually had sex with another woman, looking for one is just the same.
A relationship is based on trust, and obviously she doesnt trust you, and you cant be trusted. Maybe you should have an open relationship. And if your doing things for "fun" you should let her in on the information. If you tell her everything, she would have no reason to violate your privacy.
I would tell her your hurt that she checked your email, but appologize for what you did, in my opinion you were both "wrong", but think how much more pain she is feeling that your "looking for some fun" (even if your not), then the pain your feeling because she "checked your email".
If you love her, you should really apologize and try to make her feel secure in your relationship, and explain your "curiousity". However, dont let her off the hook with checking your email, make sure that is expressed as well.
However, I would also like to mention, my man has no problem with leaving his email or anything open because he has nothing to hide. Perhaps you wouldnt feel so violated if you were honest with her in the first place.
2007-03-24 09:23:18 · answer #1 · answered by Zenthae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY DID YOU DO IT? that is only an answer you can decide..you may not have been planning to act on it, but just doing it makes you guilty of the first step of cheating, you were thinking about it..if you really dont know why you did it, then could it be because you feel unwanted and wanted to see if you still had it, most the time when others cheat it is because they want to see if they "still have it" meaning sex appeal... I would not doubt your love for her, men do this all the time you are just admitting it...I would thing that you both are guilty, but you more then her, if you were tring to cover your tracks you should have never left it open for her to find, i know it was an accident but she found it.. And she may not have known she was on your page and seen the Craig's list and thought wtf is this.. So I have no advice there, you might want to think about this a little more before you talk to her.. you dont want to come off the wrong way.. and she is going to keep asking why you did this.. and from a women the words "I dont know"... yeah that will get you nowhere.. good luck and stay off that Craig's list thing lol....
2007-03-24 09:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess your g/friend must have gone balistic on you after she read your emails. She really shouldn't be reading anything of yours..but as you said..you were kinda still logged in...so curiosity must have gotten the best of her...If she took the time, for you to explain what you just explained on here to us, then hopefully she understands...like you also said..you've done nothing wrong and have not been unfaithful to her..but in her eyes, I'm sure she sees it much differently. Wouldn't you if the shoe was on the other foot and you read something like that on her computer.? You would wonder if she was looking for someone else to have some "naughty" times together~
Communication...Honesty...and Trust are the keys to a long healthy relationship*~ I guess you'll have to start living up to those or you'll be in the dog house for quite sometime and she'll eventually leave as the "trust, communication and honesty will be right out the window". GoodLuck*
2007-03-24 09:22:49 · answer #3 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you call it a common law relation and others call it living in a state of adultery.If you really thought as much of her as you say you do and you just wanted to see if people respond to those ads,then why didn't you ask her to join you and do it together,why was you being sneaky behind her back?
2007-03-24 09:26:55 · answer #4 · answered by courious,one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are keeping your options open. It's normal.
If you were entirely dedicated, you'd be married instead of common-law...
Who is more guilty? I dont think it's a matter of guilt. I think the truth is out there and the question now is, do you accept or deny what this says about your relationship?
LIve well~
2007-03-24 09:20:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put the blame on you because you listed the add and did not tell her. You were the one that was absent minded and left your email logged on so of course she would look. You know you listed the add for a reason. Don't act like you didn't know why you did it.
Good luck!
2007-03-24 09:19:27 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think you are more guilty. Since you're already in a relationship, you should not search for other fun. I know people make mistakes now and then, as long as you know and admit it, i'm sure you deserve a forgiveness from your gf.
2007-03-24 09:18:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Busted!
2007-03-24 10:52:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well friend you left the door open an she walk in,,,, so , i got to say, next time sign out,,,
2007-03-24 09:20:11 · answer #9 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋