Worst day of my life ?how could my hubby cheat on me?

Question

Okay i am 22 and going to graduate from college in the upcoming months! i have been married for about 2 yrs happily.I have a 3.5 yr old son from a prior relationship before i met my hubby.Only three people aside from me new who my sons father was my parents and i told my husband when he asked me about it when my son moved in with us 10 months ago.He apparently new my son's bio-father from highschool plus they had been buddy's but he promised not to say anything to anyone.His buddy (also my son's bio-dad)invited us to his wedding 2 months ago and talked my hubby into flying out with us back to nj.I did not want to go but my hubby said he had already rsvp.During a wedding rehersal it came out(fight) that my hubby had cheated on me with the bride 6 months into our marriage?It also came out who my sons bio-father really was and that my ex.bf had been dating the bride during our fling.I spent the night with the bride in prison.How could my hubby cheat on me?

By the way my hubby and i have never had any problems fighting or anything? We have sex 4-5 times a week?How could he do this to me!

I wish this was a soap opera!

Answer 1

Sorry to say, but if people would wait until they were married to have children then a lot of these problems could be avoided. The damage is done now. I just feel bad for the kid involved. He never asked for any of this drama.

Answer 2

He is young, immature and maybe he is just not able to handle some of the deeper more difficult issues that being in a committed relationship involves. His affair is flat out wrong and he should not be making commitments he can't keep. He probably loves you deeply, thinks you are just the greatest thing he has ever seen, and yet he cheats because he can't help himself right now. One thing - the thought of raising another man's child is something I would have had a tough time dealing with, much less at such a young age. I wish you lots of luck...hang in there and be strong.

Answer 3

I am a man, and I cheated on my wife, albeit not so spectacularly. I was addicted to porn. We are Christians. The Bible says that if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has committed adultery. My wife caught me watching porn by myself. In my case, it was an addiction which pre-dated puberty. Yes, I got hooked on porn from childhood (I had classmates in school who were wise beyond their years - in a manner of speaking). My age was still counting in single digits! Through my wife's forgiveness, many nights on the sofa, much prayer, much fasting, and much intimate time with my wife (talking, holding hands, etc., and sexual intimacy), I have been able to be faithful to my wife. In most cases, a vital emotional need is unmet.

This coin has two sides. If he isn't meeting some emotional need of yours, you won't feel like meeting his needs. And vice-versa. This is an area where you both need to be 100% effective. Generally speaking, the top 10 emotional needs are: Affection, Admiration, Sexual Fulfillment, Conversation, Openness & Honesty, Financial Support, Recreational Companionship, An Attractive Spouse, Family Commitment, and Domestic Support.

The top 5 out of these 10 are the make-or-break emotional needs. Generally (although there are exceptions), the husband's top 5 will be different from the wife's top 5. ALL of the top 5 MUST BE MET. Both of you need to make a list of your top 5, including what they mean to you. Exchange them and give yourselves an evaluation of how well your needs are being met and how well you are meeting your spouse's needs.

Your husband needs to cut off ALL contact with the other woman. He CANNOT ever see her again. This is a drastic step, but the people who came up with the class my wife and I just finished (see sources) have many years experience and their experience shows that your husband will be tempted to bed the other woman again at the first sight of her. Because she is now married, she might be able to resist (at least for a while), but your husband will forever be putty in her hands, unless 1. he never sees her again. or 2. something happens to stir up major animosity between them.

You may want to put your husband out of the house for a while. If it was an emotional needs thing, you were meeting most of his needs, and she was meeting only one or two. Without you, none (or almost none) of his emotional needs will be met. He'll be eager to come crawling back to you, begging for forgiveness.

If it is an addiction, however, seek professional help (try therapy first, then - if that fails - seek another type of professional [Lawyer]).

In either case, you both should take a marriage class together. Find one through a local church. Try the one my wife and I just completed. Find one through a community organization or community college. Just get into one wholeheartedly. It may get worse before it gets better. It may just get worse. In either case, you will eventually have a good outcome: either you will have survived and have built a stronger marriage - or you will have rid yourself of a habitual cheater.

Pray.

><>

Answer 4

That is just one of the problems you encounter whe you have sex outside of marriage.Maybe since you had sex before marrige he believes you will cheat on him or maybe he feels you have cheated on him already,you dont know what his so called buddy has been telling him just to hurt you.

Answer 5

WOW, are you for real? What the hell kind of life are you living? You need to break away from all of these losers and forget you ever knew them! Starting over is the only option that I see for you to heal and have a NORMAL life! Good Luck!

Answer 6

i think men can cheat very easily and not feel it is wrong. sounds as if u need to confront this, see what he says about it. there is never a reason to cheat on anyone. he clearly cheated on u, and u may or may not be able to move past this. get some therapy.

Answer 7

your hubby seems to be a sex addict. i am so sorry for going through this type of trauma but atleast you know the truth. my hubby also cheated on me, so i know how you feel. dont worry, you are not to b blamed. that manwhore has some serious mental problems. leave him.

Answer 8

sounds like a Jerry Springer show to me!

Answer 9

And this my friends is why I don't watch soap operas...