I love my fiance but im not in love with him. hes so totoally awsome and handsome but, he doesn't give me butterflies when i see him. yes, he makes me laugh but that's not all i want .i want pasion! should i end the relationship two mounths before my wedding day????
2007-03-24 09:02:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you think that being in love means that you get butterflies every time you see each other, then you need a reality check. The real butterflies only come early in a relationship when you don't know what to expect. Once you have been together long enough, you know that he is going to hold your hand, or kiss you good night. You know he is going to call you at a certain time or always say he loves you when you part.
If you are not in love with him then you shouldn't marry him. If you have unrealistic dreams of fairy tale romance then I don't think you are old enough to be married. You might be letting the perfect man pass you by. Is this the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with or just the rest of the week? Pray about it!
My husband and I took some time away from each other before we got married and neither one of us could stand the time apart. Maybe try a separation period for while and postpone all wedding plans for now.
2007-03-24 09:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Trying♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have any doubts AT ALL, you should at the least put it on hold. It will be better to be sure that you want to spend your entire life with someone before your married then to just end up wasting time and emotional resources on something you felt you should or had to do at the time. Don't end up another statistic.
On a side note, what is "in love". If you mean that "new discovery" part of a relationship in which your heart pounds and you get weak in your knees everytime your near....that never lasts in any relationship, and if you set that as your standard you will end a lot of relationships disappointed a few years down the road. A life long relationship should be with someone that can make you smile, when you need it most, someone that you are attracted to physically, someone that respects you and wants to make you happy and whom you want to make happy. Someone who appreciates you for who you are and will never expect you to change from that path. Someone who will stand by you when things are bad just as when they are great. All of that makes a life long commitment worth while.
On a second side note... a life long committment doesn't have to be signed by the state or by the church to be a real committment...and I feel many people give up on trying to keep a relationship going after they get that ring on their finger. So don't feel that marriage is what you need to keep your relationship going. Respect, hard work and love is what keeps relationships going.
2007-03-24 16:06:31 · answer #2 · answered by Cronides 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are asking strangers to help you decide to leave your fiance? Wow you must need help
Ok listen, you are going to marry this man, it is for life! You get that? LIFE! and if you don't totally love him with all your heart then why are you marrying him? He thinks you are totally crazy for him and how would you feel if he was doing the same to you, and that u had gone through with the marriage knowing that in your heart he wasn't perfect for you? There is a perfect man out there for us all but your fiance isn't him. I know its hard to face but you can't just settle for him because he's handsome and funny. You need everything and when it comes to life with a man, you need to the right one so do you and your fiance a favour and end this relationship before it's too late.
Good Luck
2007-03-24 16:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think to see if you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Also how long have you known this person? Even if you don't get the butterflies, do you have some moment to realize how happy you are with him? Maybe you can share this feelings with him. If he loves you, he should understand and you guys can work on this together. Remember marriage involves family and it will cause a lot of pain when it fails.
2007-03-24 16:08:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should postpone it until you clear things up. postponing a edding could be very hard, telling all yóur familiy and friends, and let's not forget, telling the fiance. but if you dont feel a passionate love for him you should talk to yu closest friend, or even your fiance. it might not be good to do somethign you might regret later. you could end up hurting him, and when you tell him what happened he'll probably ask "then why the hell did you want to marry me"?
Good Luck
2007-03-24 16:12:11 · answer #5 · answered by Jordi* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not marry him if you don't feel the passion. Trust me, get out now is much more easier than after being married. You don't want to be in that situation.
I actually think doing this is good for you and good for your bf as well. Don't get married until you are really sure and really want to marry that person. This comes from my experience. Good luck to you!
2007-03-24 16:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like u still need time to think before u get married. Ask urself if u could live with this person for the rest of ur life ?
2007-03-24 16:13:53 · answer #7 · answered by uk_man_on_fire 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By not being honest you are going to not only hurt yourself, but a lot of people. It sounds as if you need to find yourself, ask your fiance if the two of you could go for counseling, because you want to be sure.
2007-03-24 16:08:16 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it now rather than grow to resent him later on down the road. But, have you ever been 'in love' with him? Is this just prewedding jitters or something more? I know several who have married without being 'in love' and in most cases, they regretted it tremendously.
2007-03-24 16:07:29 · answer #9 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yeah i think you should leave him. You should try to find someone that truly belongs to you. If he is not the right guy, leave him! Maybe it may take time to find someone that truly fits you he may come sooner or later! yeah if you marry him you are not going to be happy :( While you are married and you met someone that mets all your criteria you are going to regret that you married him! So just leave him. Well anyways this is just an opion! Trust your felling and just go with them
2007-03-24 18:03:42 · answer #10 · answered by Confused ~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋