How common is it for the bad habits of your spouse to become your own?

Question

And how do you go about changing the trend to regain the person you are?

Not talking about alcohol or drugs, thank goodness!

I never really realized that I've been doing this until just today.....

Answer 1

I never thought I would pick up his bad habits...but as my all seeing mother has pointed out to me, unfortunately I have.
However, I am overcome this and take back the person I know I am. I already started by taking better care of myself, started wearing makeup and just got contacts. I feel better already.

Answer 2

I think that happens a lot less than your question poses. The real problem is that when one of them (usually it's the woman, so I'll use the word "she") first fell in love, she was fully aware of those bad habits, and irritating quirks of the other one, but she was looking through rose-colored glasses, and everything seemed irrelevant compared to her emotional feelings towards her beloved. If he has a habit of burping really loudly when eating, she might look at him tenderly and say "Ohh Hooooneeeee!!!" But one day, a couple of anniversaries, and one and a half children later, she's going to be up to her neck in irritations, trying to get supper, the kid howling over a grazed knee, some pregnancy-related feelings going on and t.v blaring. Suddenly her husband walks into the kitchen munching on potato chips and lets out one of his "BURRRRRPPPP" blasters, and she's going to whirl around and spit "GEORGE, I'm just about sick of your damn vulgarity. You're disgusting, and you've been embarrassing me in front of my family from the day we got married" Yep, she has hit that milestone at the very point where that "rosey glow" vanished and she suddenly became fully aware of all George's "bad habits" that she's known he had all along. Poor George, it isn't his fault. He's the s ame guy she fell in love with, and she's been married to him for two years now and never once said a thing about any of them.
That's virtually a standard situation in a still relatively new marriage at the point where you suddenly realise that the "nice leathery smell" has worn off the upholstery LOL. The wife rarely actually adopts any of the irritating little habits she now begins to realise he has. But, she almost certainly has a few of her own that she has generously allowed herself NOT to recognise, so that if, now she starts seeing a connection between one or two of his, and something she has a habit of doing, more likely than not it's just pure coincidence that she married a guy with the same ones she has.
In the relatively rare situation where a woman actually has caught a bad habit from her husband, she can only get rid of it the way anyone ever gets rid of any recognised bad habit - acknowledge it, and make a determined commitment to quit as of this moment.
But I think it's a mistake to suggest that just because you may have taken up a "bad habit" - however you acquired it - that you are somehow NOT the person you always were. You are the same person who has along the road picked up something and added it to your personality; and if you want to drop it again, better do it before it gets too hardwired into place, because then it gets a whole lot harder. However, it doesn't do any harm to really pause and ask yourself how "bad" is this habit your spouse has (whether or not you believe you caught it from him". I mean if you are both in the habit of blowing money left and right that you can't afford, maybe it's time for you BOTH to make a commitment to quit. On the other hand, if it's just the habit of biting chunks out of the cheese slab instead of getting a knife and cutting a bit off like a civilized human - maybe the thing to do is keep two packets of cheese in the fridge - one that you use when "civilized people" are coming over, and the other'n for the t wo of you to just indulge your secret "hillbilly" habit LOL.

Answer 3

I would never take up my husbands bad habit. I was raised totally different and I could not tolerate myself if I did the things that he does.

Answer 4

If I have picked up any of my husband's bad habits it does not mean I am no longer the person I was.

Answer 5

hmmm, well, I'm not married, but my latest bf almost turned me into a stupid person. Somehow I got accustomed with his boring habits and even started to share them. Until I found this place, realized how exhausted I was of him and left him... finally

Answer 6

If only this were true there would be alot less divorces, but, on the other hand who would clean the house??? If you are talking about alcohol or drugs don't do it. Period.

Answer 7

They are not common. I was taught better in most ways he has bad habits.

Answer 8

JUST make a list of what u are doing.AND work on the list.

Answer 9

not at all.