why do i find it impossible to forgive people?

Answer 1

Insecurity comes to mind. A lot of people see forgiving people as scary, allowing them to 'step all over you' again. Forgiveness is a strength, not a weakness. Just because you forgive, doesn't mean you forget.

Answer 2

I don't know you or the people you can't forgive. I don't know what they did that you can't forgive them for. All of that has variables that would change the basis for the answer. However, it does seem to me that if you can't forgive anyone for anything, no matter how insignificant, you were never forgiven for any mistakes that you made. This is not healthy. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone at some point must take responsibility for their actions and try their best to rectify the situation, then they must ask for forgiveness from the person or people they have wronged. A lot of times people don't bother to do this because they don't care. It's possible they truly don't know that they have done anything. In this case, you should let them know you have been hurt or angered, and if they do try to make things right you must forgive them. This doesn't mean that you forget. If the action keeps being repeated it is on purpose, and in this case you must distance yourself from the people causing the trouble. If it is not possible to confront someone, then you should take action in an appropriate way, such as call the police if it is criminal, or see a therapist if you have problems from a situation that your friends can't help you with. Whatever you do, find an outlet because keeping anger or hurt inside just festers and will affect any relationship with anyone you have. I have been guilty of this. For instance, instead of confronting someone I was angry with, I kept it inside and blew up at my husband over something entirely different. This is called misplaced anger. Find a constructive way to vent, try to get a resolution and apology from the ones who wrong you, do it yourself when you wrong others, and don't let it fester inside you. Let it go. You will be happier and healthier, and so will the others around you.

Answer 3

I would suspect that if you are having a hard time forgiving people, it is because you are still angry at them. If they've never apologized for what they did (or if they are unwilling to even admit they DID anything), it stands to reason that you would still be angry.

It's also hard for me to forgive people, and I finally realized that it's more harmful to ME than to anyone else when I can't do this. One thing that I have found that helps me is to sit down and write a letter to the person who has upset me. I didn't expect it to help (I initially did this at the urging of a therapist), but to my surprise, it was very cathartic. You don't have to mail the letter or do anything else - but venting in SOME way is VERY important.

Good luck!

Answer 4

You need to understand that by not forgiving them you are actually doing more harm to yourself. You can not have piece of mind while dwelling on things you can't change not to mention what the extra stress is doing to your organs and immune system. If not for them do it for yourself. Good luck

Answer 5

Well it could be that you have no appreciation that people make mistakes in life.

Or

Maybe you have simply been hurt to many times in your life to know how to forgive anymore.

Answer 6

Forgive them for what?

And why linger on? Move on.

Answer 7

its hard to forgive people after they have done somehting its usally a trust issue. you have trouble trusting peple but almost evrybody does.

Answer 8

Forgive them, but....

....that doesn't mean that they are immune to consequences!

Answer 9

It is probably because you think that you can not trust them again.

Answer 10

You maybe have good reasons?