Y r people so mean? I have a friend she remembers me only when she is free, when she does not have any thing to do, when she is bored and when she needs an ear to listen to her and a shoulder to cry on.
I feel as if she is just using me for her own sake.
She tells me that when ever I need her I can call her and talk to her but she gives me such a picture of her life that I know even if I call her she wont be there for me.
She shows me like she is always busy with something or the other. So how can I expect her to be there for me in my time of need.
Some times I feel like testing her by saying that I need her to hear my probs and give me advice but I never call her bcoz I am afraid to take rejection from her, I am afraid she would tell me that ' right now I am busy I will talk to u later" I dont want to hear this.
What make me feel horrible is that she talks to me only in her free time and she even says that like, " I was feeling very bored, nothing to do" I feel hurt by this.
2007-03-24 07:48:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She doesn't sound like a real friend to me.
Ok, she can be busy but if she only comes to you when she needs somebody.... I think it's mean of her to say ''I was feeling bored, nothing to do'' You don't have to dump her or anything like that.
Just go to friends who listen to your problems after you listened to theirs.
2007-03-24 08:27:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad. May be she comes to u bcoz she feels that ur the only person she can trust on. Moreover, ur her friend and u feel the same from the deep of ur heart. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry, may be she doesn't make u a part of her joy, but that doesn't mean u stop talking to her.
In friendship, it's giving not expecting everytime.
Now stop thinking about this, go and just talk to her, and tell her what u think.
I know u and ur friend'll sort every thing out.
2007-03-24 07:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by indiavision 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to ask if she is busy with other people or things that are going on in her life like boyfriend or other interests? Is this the only friend you have? I bet not so why are you putting so much of your energy into one friend? You need to be around someone that puts as much energy and time as you do. But again because you have not stated that you have taken an effort on bonding with her other then just being there for her. You have not called on her to be there for you nor do we know if you and her hang out together and have fun. Try making the bond of friendship stronger by asking her to do things and if she does not have time to just hang out and be friends then you know for sure that she will not be there in your time of need. If that is the case then find someone else you can confide into. Then it is your choice if you want to be the ear for her (which is not bad, infact it is self worth booster, you are a good friend in which people can turn to, trust and make people feel comfortable to share there feelings with)
2007-03-24 08:04:06 · answer #3 · answered by Rigssy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what this is like (i'm 30.)
Friendships change. She may indeed be too busy at certain times, but she needs to also understand how you feel about your relationship. Pick a time when you can speak face-to-face and let her know why it's been bothering you that she doesn't seem to give you the time and considerations you need.
Be prepared for her to admit that maybe the friendship isn't the way it used to be, and try to compromise on things like times to call or pick a day that's just for you guys. The more you can show that you can give her the same as what you're asking for should be a sign that it's not a 1way street.
I'd also suggest opening your social circle. =) Maybe depending on just one friend to listen to you when you need it isn't enough, which can be a good thing!
Hope this helps!
2007-03-24 07:55:16 · answer #4 · answered by astrogirl2876 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had a very similar problem with my (ex) best friend. She would expect me to drop eveything and be there for her when she had problems but treated me like crap a lot of the time.
In the end I had it out with her, I told her that I deserved better than to be used by her. I said if she was really my friend then she would treat me with more respect. We had a row and fell out.
I got on with my life and did other things with other people. Now she has seen that I have a great life without her in it she wants to be friends again. She has also realised (now she doesn't have my friendship) how much I meant to her.
My advice is to do fun things with other people. When she calls you either be a little dismissive or have it out with her and let her know how you feel.
I am still undecided on whether to let my best friend back into my life, I am having a lot of fun without her around.
I suggest you try that as it worked for me. Good luck!
2007-03-24 07:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by Rosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sort of had the same problem. I was 'best friends' with this girl since kindergarten, but by our freshmen year in high school, she never paid any attention to me unless she was boyfriendless and her friends were gone. I used to always listen to her, but when I wanted to say something, she'd either keep talking, or not be there. I never tell her anything anymore, and we are no longer best friends. When I found another friend my freshman year to hang out with, she was like, 'you should hang out with us! i miss you!' But whenever I'd hang out with her, I'd sit at the lunch table with her friends, just sitting, and she'd take off with one of her friends, so I left to find my other friend, and she got mad at me for ditching her. Now her and her friends have problems with my friends. I felt extremely hurt by this, too, because I felt like a dog, being dragged around by her. One day, you should just not be there for her, and show her what it's like. Give her the same she gave to you. Say you're busy. Then she'll feel hurt like you do and ask you why you're never there. Then you can tell her that she was never there for you and that now she knows how you feel.
2007-03-24 07:57:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not really your friend, just convenience. Now you need new friends, and when you feel like talking to her, if she calls, then you can, and sometimes, say, I am sorry, I am busy, can't talk right now. I hope everything works out for you! Join a club, and meet some new people. Be comfortable with yourself!
2007-03-24 07:56:34 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem,. she's most likely a girl, and you ve maybe have been friends for a long time, she's also may be popular too, I have the exact same friend, trust me, she pulls off the same crap on me too, she only calls me for problems, then when her parents wont let her go party, she'll spend the night at my house and make me cover for her, I dont know what too do either,
2007-03-24 07:57:09 · answer #8 · answered by George H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds more like you're HER best friend than she is yours. Talk to her about it, let her know how you feel....
A good friendship is one based on honesty, if you can't be honest with her, than there's the answer to your question. Either the risk of rejection is worth improving the quality of your friendship, or it's not.
2007-03-24 08:01:01 · answer #9 · answered by afwife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you just told us, you should tell her this.If you feel used, let her know.It's not fair to you to have a friend that just uses you.I can definitively relate to your situation.In these situations, you can talk to the person about it.But, if you can't just ignore her.I mean,it's gotta come out someday. So let her know!
2007-03-24 07:52:24 · answer #10 · answered by Marla 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋