what can i do?

Question

i suspect that my wife is seeing someone else, i am in despair! she has been my life since we were teenagers now i find she has been chatting on the internet to loads of blokes, what can i do? sensible answers only please

Answer 1

I think you need to book in for marriage guidance counselling and encourage her to go with you. Also the Internet is addictive (as I well know) It may be that she needs to be distracted with other activities which you could do together. OTHERWISE you may have to get a router and another computer and talk to her on that. DON'T give up though she may be unhappy but it doesn't always mean that shes out of love with you. I wonder if she knows how you feel about her chatting to other men in this way. Perhaps she would change if you told her.

Gerry I'm so sorry that you are hurting.

Answer 2

Oh, the internet! Chatting on the internet; I used to do that myself; I am in a stable relationship for the past 9 years- I saw no harm in it, a bit of fun. my partner knew I was doing it, and as the computer is in the main room of the house, and I had nothing to hide, I didn't mind him looking over my shoulder. However, one night he told me he felt uncomfortable with the idea of me chatting to men on the internet, so I stopped doing it. It was no big deal, but I didn't want a trivial thing like that to come between us.
Are you sure your wife is not just chatting and nothing else? Have you other reasons to suspect she's playing away from home?
most of the time, when we get a hunch about our partner cheating, there are small signs that you pick up almost without realising it.When you know every blink of someone's eye, you usually are with a hunch.spot on. Can you not talk to her, as my partner did, about the internet chatting/ Tell her it makes you feel very uncomfortable. Ask her what she gets from it that you can't give her.
and good luck.

Answer 3

probably it's just a bit of flirting and by keeping it on the internet she probably regards it as harmless and no threat to your marriage. Nevertheless you should try and make her understand that it is hurtful to you that she feels the need to communicate with other men in that way. You don't say howlong you've been together.... but maybe it's been a while and perhaps she's feeling bored. It happens, I know it happened in my own marriage. But harmless flirting is playing with fire in my opinion. Consider counselling. She may not want to go, but you go and hopefully she'll eventually go with you. At least if you go she'll see that what she is doing is serious to you. Try and go out more together, take up new interests together, think about where your marriage is going. If you look at it long and hard is it stale? Have you both stopped enjoying yourselves together?
Whatever you do though, don't ignore this situation - I did at my peril!! Deal with it now. The chances are that she is not actually seeing anybody else at the moment, but you need to fix things before it comes to that by working together to improve your lives.... Good luck!

Answer 4

you do not say whatage you are.....but sometimes when the children are not needing so much and the term mid life crisis raises its head......a woman finds herself lacking in some way. If you have been togehter since teenage years perhaps she has a curiosity......or seeks something she is not finding in your relationship. If she has only beeen chatting time for you two to sit down and chat.......the cause needs to be rooted out and if both of you wantto sort things a way forward worked out. It is not the enmd of the road....merely a symptom so try to treat it as such. Re kindle......Good luck

Answer 5

That is a really tough situation. Admitting to her that you're spying on her is only going to make her distrustful of you. Are you sure that the discussions are romantic and is she meeting up with them in real life? If she is meeting up with them in real life and carrying on a sexual relationship then it is YOUR life on the line and I'd definitely approach her about it with solid proof that she is fooling around on you. Print those e-mails out and go to town. She isn't the only woman in the world you know. There is still hope that you will one day find TRUE love so don't despair.

Answer 6

You gotta understand. Attraction isn't a choice. You must ask yourself what you're doing that is killing her attraction for you.

Women only cheat on men for two reasons.

1.) Her attraction for you is too low.

2.) She's insecure.

So, what are you doing that is killing her attraction?

I'd say you're not being much of a challenge, you're not flirting enough, or teasing, you're sticking to the same things over and over and not trying anything new with her.

She's growing bored mate, and she's looking for a good time.

Try taking her out and do something with her that she's never done, tease her and flirt with her more, and most importantly, be happy, and show her that you're very comfotable with yourself.

Work out more, working out can bring out hormones in your body that can help improve your body language.

Stand tall, keep your shoulders back, keep your stomach in, and be a man.

That's all you can do my friend.

-Amos

Answer 7

Murder the computer.
Use an eight pound sledge hammer after you have pulled the electric cords free of connection sockets. Be brutal.
Break the table and chair also.
Do these foul deeds when Banshee wails upon the moor.
Present the good woman with pencil, note pad, envelopes,
and possibly a non-electric typewriter?

Answer 8

get on the net iv heard of sites that let you hire people to spy on yr wife and will give you the results after a couple of weeks or when she says shes going out say 'oh i planned a night in for us both, with movies and popcorn and a romantic dinner' and look really sad if she goes she is most likely cheating or you could learn how to spy on your own, there is sites that help you do that i read in mags there is or if she goes out ask if you can come if she says its a girly night out say you wil take a friend and hang at a different place at the bar.hope verything goes ok for you.

Answer 9

It sounds to me like she is bored and that is something to do just for entertainment. If she actually decided to meet someone or has already then is when you have a real problem. Lets hope it has not gone that far.

In case you find out that it has then I would say to confront her with what you know and try to work it out but if you can't then I hate to say it but you might be heading for a divorce.

Answer 10

Have you stopped making an effort? Honestly? It is natural for a female to switch affection if her existing mate stops being able to provide for her and her off-spring.

So if you are just sat in front of the telly or down the pub and not making her feel special any more, you have to expect her to take an interest in other possible mates who will give her what she wants.