This may sound petty, but anyway. My husband always digs his fork into my dessert. Literally he eats half of my cake without asking for it. The same thing keeps happening: we get tea, I aks him if he wants his cake - he says "no", then he eats half of mine. Call me greedy, but I want my cake for myself at least sometimes. :) Normally I share my food with him, but what gets me is "why does he keep doing something that he knows will upset/annoy me"? I know that this is just the top of the iceberg of issues we have in our marriage. The thing is that when I explain calmly how it makes me feel - he withdraws, makes a sour face and refuses to talk to me. Help!
2007-03-24 06:58:21 · 13 answers · asked by Alyssa Macey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
btw, I am a generous person actually, but after this incident I feel like I am the worst human being on the planet on earth. He is still not talking to me, stubborn cake stealer. trying to joke
2007-03-24 07:01:08 · update #1
He also tried to convince me it was funny when he was reaching for my cake across the table, while I was clearly pulling away with no laughs on my face.
2007-03-24 07:22:01 · update #2
Sometimes a piece of cake is just a piece of cake.....and some times, it is a can of worms.
This seems to be more than a piece of cake. If you have told him it annoys you and he does it anyway--what does that say? This seems to be about control to me.
Sure you can cut two pieces, you can move your piece away, and you can physically change the situation to stop it from happening.....but only he can change the underlying issue.
2007-03-24 07:12:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes men do things subcontionously. Mine always picks is nails and it drives me crazy no matter how many times I tell him.
But taking someone elses cake, is different I guess hehe. I know that my friend had the same problem with his girlfriend, but that was because she didnt "want" the cake, because she thought it would make her fat, but then when it came she would just eat most of his without the guilt. Maybe thats on the line your husband is?
If he doesnt stop, I would just start bringing two peices to the table. If he doesnt want it, let it sit there. But atleast then he wont start to eat yours!
BTW - I am confused how a husband eating some of his wifes cake turned into they need counciling? Its just cake people. If he was disrespecting her in other places, I am sure she would have bigger problems, and questions to ask then her husband eating her cake.
2007-03-24 14:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by Zenthae 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop playing his silly game and get two pieces of cake ready. Sit at the table in such a way that he cannot reach across with his fork into yours, but would have to get up and move. When he makes a motion for yours, tell him you already got his ready and serve it.
Or, less nicely, take your plate away before his fork even reaches yours and tell him that there's more in the fridge. If he makes sour faces, that's his problem. If he persistently refuses to speak to you, he's punishing you in a childish way and I would think that's the real problem more than the cake-stealing. There is very little help for a sullen, petty spouse unless they agree to go for counseling.
2007-03-24 14:03:49 · answer #3 · answered by charmedchiclet 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I sometimes do it just to be funny ... but believe me, I save it for a point when she will see it as such.
First, I stay away from sensitive subjects. Like one time, she made a comment about, "What, you got a hot date or something?" and I said, "Yeah, with (my ex)." That was the ONLY time I ever tried saying something like that.
Second, I wait for an appropriate time. "That time of the month," high-stress situations, or first thing in the morning are not appropriate times.
But ... third, I make sure she understands it's just teasing, and not intended to be hurtful. It's almost kind of a way of showing affection. Not knowing anything other than what you've said, I'm not sure that's what your husband is doing.
2007-03-24 17:07:00 · answer #4 · answered by JohnD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate when this happens. I love popcorn and I always buy the mini-bags for one person. I ask in advance if the other person would like a mini-bag, but they decline. Then when my popcorn is ready they start digging in like a wolf. You approach them about it and they act like you're so rude. I don't know what you can do about the cake, but I always make sure to buy the BIG bags of popcorn now to avoid controversy. Cut yourself a double sized slice of cake OR stick with eating just half of the cake. Consider it a favor on your husbands part..he's lowering your caloric intake! :)
2007-03-24 14:03:41 · answer #5 · answered by plume 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the underlying issue is you don't feel respected. The answer isn't as simple as - just get a bigger piece of cake then when he eats half you'll still have plenty left for you - I'd look into counseling if he's willing.
2007-03-24 14:03:24 · answer #6 · answered by Zabes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I won't keep doing something that would annoy my spouse but it depends really on "what" would annoy him and how strongly he feels about it. If he says no, i'll definitely stop. But about the cake... we always share our food no matter what, and that reminds me that I do have him to share life with and I'm very thankful for that.
http://lanispage.blogspot.com
2007-03-24 14:06:08 · answer #7 · answered by Leilyn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
[ BIG SMILE!] Yes!, As everyone knows, My beautiful Indian princess is turning me into a gentleman, yet the process is long and difficult! For example, just the other day we went to her mother's house. as we approached, this one gentleman dropped his keys on the pavement. I automatically kick him in the rear! This other time , buying food , I purposely had a pen that did not work in the checkout line at the supermarket! It took me almost 10 minutes to write out a check!!!!!! You should have seen Kat's face!!!!! Boy, was she ever angry!!!!! But we went home and'MADE UP!!!!!' I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE making up with my Kat's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I That's the BEST part of doing things that make her angry!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-24 14:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men just do passive-aggressive crud like that.
My husband purposely repeats a questions asked of him back incorrectly...because he THINKS it's funny. It's NOT.
For example; me..What happened at work today?....him..Who got porked today?
me...Did you remember to call corporate about the engineering bill? him...Did I remember to get corpses entering bills?
I might strangle him one day.
2007-03-24 14:09:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
he loves you,and he use to do that normally with you ,now you feel annoy about that sometimes.do you think that is right thing to do , if you want anther go and get it but never let him feel that way and you will get what you like to eat as you like
2007-03-24 14:06:05 · answer #10 · answered by lopo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋