After saying this he stopped having sex with me why? Surely me showing him what I want too is part of a healthy relationship?
2007-03-24 06:54:07 · 42 answers · asked by Grace 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wow, lots of criticism for you and most of it bad notice how most of it is from the guys.
Yes, you are right telling him how you want sex is part of a healthy relationship, however how did you deliver it? Men's ego's are notoriously fragile, you hurt his severly. Honesty and confronting this issue is the only way you're going to clear the air. He's hurt right now.
The best thing you can do is work on his ego. Tell him what he did right and work from there. Ask him what he does and doesn't enjoy. Get ready though it could hurt what he doesn't like about you. I'm not talking about if your butt is too big, but things you do that he doesn't like in bed. Maybe you don't give as great bjs as you think.
Oh and one more thing... NEVER, ever fake an orgasm again. Your relationship shouldn't have lies and I'm gonna guess you've been faking orgasms.
Good luck. If he doesn't want to work it out or can't stand any criticisms for his technique maybe he's not emotionally as mature as you are. He might not be the right guy for you.
2007-03-24 12:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by Crystal H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A healthy part of a sexual relationship is open communication.
Perhaps you were too blunt or your B/F was being too sensitive. The fact of the matter is, you both hardly know yourselves sexually and knowing what pleases someone else is not easy to learn.
There is no formula, book or natural born instinct when it comes to sex. Some people hit it off right away and others have to work at it.
If you love the guy, you'll work at it with him, but if you're not sure, then it's time to move on.
No sense in remaining in a relationship where you don't complement each other.
Good luck!
2007-03-24 07:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by wil s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is. guys have a sort of complex about sex. They want to be pleasing to you and the best you've ever had. Maybe you should go back and tell him what you meant was it was good.. but you were a little eager for him to try something else. Say what you told him came out wrong and you can't wait for him to get his hands on you. Try to guide him to your favorite spots. Sex is all trial and error when you are learning someones body.. especially if you aren't in touch with your own.. which may be the case for him. Make a sorta quirky sex game. all about him. Tell him you want to blind fold him and have him guide you where it feels best for him. Then flip it. you can have hours of four play then when you feel he has "the touch" and his confidence back go for it. Get on top and show him what works best for you.. when your ready to flip.. DO! It may take a while for him to be open for suggestion so be sneaky about it;)
2007-03-24 07:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by am k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very much a part of a healthy relationship and if he doesn't know now he'll never know. His feelings were hurt, understandably so, but he needs to man up and handle it better, if not someone else will be more than happy to.
2007-03-24 07:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by Monique 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's hurt and emasculated. While you probably don't think so, you might not have said it in the most diplomatic way. You need to have a frank conversation with him where you say that you still care about him, with specifics, and then explain some things that you would enjoy. It's better to gradually drop specific improvements than to say "the sex isn't good." With the first method, things will get better over time, but with the second, he's not going to want to deal with you.
2007-03-24 06:57:31 · answer #5 · answered by Dave 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men are very prideful and you hit him right where it hurt. Had you worded it a different way then maybe he would have responded. I'm not much help in that I believe you should marry first but that's neither here nor there. apologize to him but ask him to talk to you about it all. Tell him what you are feeling in a nice way. Tell him your needs but also ask him what his needs are. Sex is a two way street and each should try to be aware of each other's feelings - it's always quality not quanity and supplying the need of the one you love
2007-03-24 07:03:19 · answer #6 · answered by grandmabonnie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? You have totally destroyed his ego! Men are very sensitive to criticism regarding their sexual performance. Tell him you were wrong to say that and you're sorry. Mean it. Then find ONE thing you like about having sex with him (there has to be something!) and tell him that. Then get him back in the bedroom asap and tell him as you're having sex what you really like. This is very easy to do without offending him again, say things like "that feels so good but can we try this too?"
It is not your boyfriend's responsibility to magically know how to please you, you have to do your part.
2007-03-24 07:02:59 · answer #7 · answered by hannahbean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right! Showing, or telling him what you want too, is healthy and is part of a good relationship!
Hopefully, you didn't tell him, the way you worded it here though. OUCH!
2007-03-24 07:01:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are very sensitive about their prowess in bed. Perhaps it was the way you told him. Criticism should always be given in a constructive way. For instance, you could move his hand and show him what you like and say something like, this spot is even better. That way, he doesn't hear, "what you are doing sucks" he hears, "this is good but this is better". Much more palatable. Even I would prefer to be told this way.
2007-03-24 06:59:16 · answer #9 · answered by chicagowoman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the way you said it, must have hurt him. Sex was not good in it seems so rude. You could have suggested that you would like him to do this and that once in a while but saying this outright must have hurt his ego and pride.
2007-03-24 06:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by Smriti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋