Can becoming a christian (sincerely) change a cheating husband?

Question

Around christmas my husband of 6 yrs cheated on me with a so-called family friend. I had no clue, although we were having problems i totally trusted him. He broke things off with her, and talked with a friend of his who is a christian for advice. This person told him he had to come clean about it and change his life and pray to God to save him and his family from destruction. Feb 3 my husband confessed to me, he told me everything. He seemed sincere, crying and begging me not to leave him not to take the kids to give him another chance. He said he would do whatever it takes to fix our marriage. because he did confess on his own, and for my 2 small babies I decided to give him that second chance. He has done a complete 180, we moved, changed jobs (broke all contacts) he has accepted the lord, reads the bible everyday, goes to church, and even i accepted the lord. we are communicating finally, and becoming a better family and couple.

my only worry is if it will be a permanent change?

Answer 1

Although it is going to be tough, it does seem to be very sincere. What you do have on your side is that he did tell you, and you did not find out on your own. God has given us the ability to forgive, but he did not give us the ability to forget. But because both of you sound as though things are going very well, this is where you need to put your trust in the Lord. He will take care of it. You should be proud of your husband for telling you about it because so many men do not. No one can say whether or not it will happen again....but I believe that if you keep God first and foremost in your lives, you will have a successful marriage. When you feel those thoughts coming into your mind, then you know that it is time to send up a little prayer for help. So just move forward from this point on, once you were saved and gave your life to the Lord....it was just like your life started over.....so don't go back. You marriage is in good hands, just keep putting your trust in God and he will see you through those bumps.

Answer 2

To coin a cliche', only time will tell. You are talking about a condition of the heart and only each individual can answer that question for themselves.
Your husband doesn't get any "extra" points for confessing either, please. .He needs to take complete responsibility for his actions..He broke a covenant with you. The wedding rings you wear are suppose to "signify" a "no beginning" no ending meaning of love between you. There is also no "break" no opening in the ring to allow others to come into the initimate relationship. If he's not wearing a ring, you get him one and as you have begun a new life in Christ you could have a small ceremony to "put the ring on his finger" and make the commitment even more "solid". It's better than a frying pan over his head...lol
As the two of you become more "learned" in the ways of God and what it means to be married it is very likely that you can trust him again. Forgiveness is great but you need to see changes in attitude/behavior and mindset to help calm your fears and worries. That's his only job for as long as it takes to bring you some peace of mind. Then he can learn what it truly means to take the leadership role of his family. When he becomes someone God can use for this purpose the real changes for the both of you will begin. And then life will get truly exciting.
It doesn't really matter what brought you to the Lord, later when you understand the awesomeness of this commitment to God and then each other your graditude will put you on your knees. Your lives will be the "richer" for this.
If this is going to work for you both, and especially the children you can't find a sunday, raining, dreary, cold....where you stay in bed....It's a whole new world of discipline.
It's an amazing irony, really, that discipline, when done well will give you the greatest freedom. You write me back when you understand that one. Then we'll be on the same page?
GOD BLESS YOU BOTH AS YOU TRAVEL this path into a new life in Christ our Lord.

Answer 3

I personally believe nothing is permanent. Becoming a Christian may change a person significantly. I myself am a Christian and this is the only reason why I don't steal, cheat, or hurt people anymore. But it doesn't mean I will never succumb to temptations. I am married and there are a few times that I have almost cheated on my wife. If I was just 100% sure I will not get caught, then I may have done it already. Being a Christian helps a lot in a many areas of my life. But when it comes to lust, I think it's a different story. You see pastors and priest fall because of these kinds of temptations. I think the best way to change your cheating husband is to make sure he stays away from these temptations. I don't exactly know how you can go about doing it. Maybe spend more time with him and your children so he won't have time to cheat on you. Or try working our your problems before it get blown out of proportions. I really wish you and your family well. Good luck. Keep your head up. God bless.

Answer 4

A resounding YES!!!- If the Lord saved him then you have no worries. With God all things are possible.

Congarats on your acceptance of our Lord and Saviour as well. You should not be worried, that is just a trick of the devil! He is upset that he was not able to ensnare a child of God.

Now to keep your marriage strong, you should apply what the Word of GOD says about marriage to your daily life.(Read 1 Corinthians Chapter 7). It may seem hard at first, but over time and with the help and Grace of Jesus Christ, it can be done.
Good Luck, and I hope I helped.

Answer 5

I'm not sure if this is a permanent change. The fact that you moved and cut all ties with the other woman is a good sign. The potential problem is that your husband may be very excited about his new found devotion, but it might wane after the novelty wears off. The problems in your marriage that made him decide to cheat need to be confronted with a therapist or clergy person. I have known several people in my life who claim to be devoted to religion, but cheat on their spouses regularly. Your husband might be trying to "throw you off the scent" by pretending to be a responsible family man now, or he could be sincere. Either way, you need to talk about your marriage in a meaningful way with a neutral third party. Good luck. I hope your husband starts treating you with more respect since you deserve someone as committed to marriage as you are.

Answer 6

Listen, there are so many people of so many different religions that cheat on spouses, but it's all about if he is truly sorry. I am glad you are giving him another chance because he is only human...there is a song about it by Donnie Mcclurkin..we fall down but we get...for a saint is just a sinner who fell down..and got up. I have been through the same situation, he confessed to me, and 3 years later I am not worried about him being with anyone else. He has earned my trust again. I understand you are going to be skeptical towards him, it's even going to be in the back of your mind for a little while but the only thing you can do is give it time, and allow him to earn your trust again. But make sure when you are arguing that you never throw it back up in his face. I think that religion can help you change..but like I said before it's all about the person, and if he is even willing to risk it again.

Answer 7

Hello, becomming a christian can have a permanent affect on someone. However, if he did it for the wrong reasons then it will not have the affect. It seems though that he is doing it for the right reasons. I think this guy really loves you, and doesn't want to lose you. Sometimes, because we are human, we do stupid things. But if those stupid things can be overcome with the strength of the lord, and you can move on.....then do it . Time will soon overlap whatever you are feeling now, and you two will grow closer. Good luck

Answer 8

The glue that holds your family together is the church. Once you start to get bored with the same old people, the same old sermons, the same seemingly boring lifestyle, you're doomed. You are truly one in a million girl! To lose trust and then to get even a finger hold back on it is rare! Top that off by being wise enough to have a church as a source of strength, yep, you are amazing! He is a very fortunate man. You just need to do one thing to assure his cheating stops. Stay with a church! If something happens and you must leave, immediately get in a new one!

Answer 9

There is no way 2 b sure he wont do it again besides cutting off his manhood(just joking)lol. But if u r both working on it and u brung religion n 2 your life u must have faith n your husband and forget the past r u won't push forward. Pray for God to strengthen u and work on u 2 c pass the affair. If u build a relationship with God and trust him he will show u signs and tell u if it is trouble ahead.Everybody deserves a second chance but not a third one. if he cheats on u again leave, children r not bcause he is placing your life n danger.,

Answer 10

The only thing that you can do now is to accept him for who he is and forgive him for what he did. The Lord has already forgiven him. It seems that by moving and breaking off all ties to and with the one that he cheated with was a big step. Encourage him by telling him everyday how much you love him, but don't just say it...show him as well. Of course this is only the opinion of a 54 year old woman.