My parents got a divorce a little more than a year ago. My mother does not believe a word me and my sister say about our Fathers life because he has lied to her before. Everyday she screams and cries about me and my sister lying to her but we have done nothing but tell the truth. Everything we say gets her mad and now she is making us move in with my father because "We lie for him" and "We are trying to protect him".. what can I do to make her trust us when all we do is tell the truth anyway? Is this a normal problem for kids stuck in the drama of a divorce?
P.S. Sorry if this sounds like a rant, I just need some answers.
2007-03-24 06:02:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your mother thinks shes the only one hurting here and the whole world is out to get her. If she doesnt want to hear the truth then by all means stop telling her about your dad. Shes in a denial mode where everything she hears is a lie and everyone is conspiring together to get to her and she feels that your dad is the leader. So talk to her about anything but your dad. She probably knows the truth anyway, but chooses not to deal with it,especially now. Kis tend to get blamed in divorces where they were one spouses favorites before trouble beganIf your mom asks, just tell her why should you and your sister talk to her when she doesnt believe anything you tell her. In time she will come out of this and mis you two and will be willing to rebuild family ties so in the mean time, try to avoid her as much as possible til better times come again and they will. Be patient and good luck
2007-03-24 06:15:32 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Go live with your Father for a while if he agrees to it with the exchange that your Mom goes for counseling. Your Mom needs some help right now, that you girls are stuck in the middle of her emotional problems is not fair/right for you. Give her some time, divorce can be the hardest time of a persons life. Bare with her, let her know how much you both love her, that she is not alone. You can't do much more, this is something she needs to come to terms with. That day will come. Hang in there, it WILL get better!!!
2007-03-24 06:19:49 · answer #2 · answered by swiss girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is hurting like hell and by telling her stuff about your dad is cruel to say the least. Keep out of the fight. THey didnt get on and neither should you two get involved in her problems. SHe doesnt hate you but you are not making it easier for her by telling her stuff about your dad. Its all about years together and that is not all. SHe is still going through a lot of emotions. GO to her and apologise for rubbing salt in her wounds. Rather try to understand her and support her. THis is a terribly traumatic situation. Its worse than death. DIvorce is so cruel and nasty...all the more reason the bible says God hates divorce!!! She obviously really loved your dad more than she is telling. I also think he is going through a mid life crisis and is behaving like an idiot. Men get like that. If you think she would like some help, I have written a book about divorce recovery and I m prepared to share it with her. Email me your email address and I will forward it to her. It really will help her.
I went through a very similar thing but GOd brought us back together again and for the right reasons this time. It now 10 years later and we really love each other a lot and everything is so good. Every situation is different however, but nothing is impossible if God is in it! Let me know if I can help in any way at all. It will be a pleasure to do so.
2007-03-24 06:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry about your situation, but for the most part you all mother is still hurting. And she may be hurting for a long time because is trusted your father to be with her forever, and that did not happen now she blame herself she think that it was all her fault that her and your father broke up the family. Also she felt that maybe you all knew what was going on in could have given her a warning. Not to met ion that you all may look like your father and remind her of him.
2007-03-24 06:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by Tonya B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I was you, I would just stop talking about your father.
It's not usually this extreme for kids in the middle. Your mom seems to be either taking it really hard, or she is having some mental issues. The best place for you very well may be at your dad's house for a while.
2007-03-24 06:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would also just stop talking about your father. She doesn't need to know what he does, they are divorced. She really needs to quit putting you in the middle of it.
2007-03-24 06:15:11 · answer #6 · answered by ~Miss~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand ur situation! try to understand ur moms situation also her heart just got broken one year back so its still fresh. Try to comfort her,for now avoid any topic on ur father.Let her settle down a bit, Then if u n ur sis approch to her then I think it will b easier.
best of luck.
2007-03-24 06:11:40 · answer #7 · answered by sherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋