I was just reading a webpage about Low Sef-Esteem and it said not to let people pressurise you into doing things you don't want to do, you'd think that was an obvious one.
I do have low self-esteem and a need to please people/look after them. My friend has had depression/suicidal thoughts and always manages to talk me into things i dont want to do by saying 'please i feel really emotional' of course i say ok. How do I put my foot down?
2007-03-24 05:45:55 · 10 answers · asked by truth_and_time_tells_all 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
say "stop putting me in this position it's not fair your using me and i want it to stop"
do not shout, feel free to cry and don't let them walk away
2007-03-24 11:39:00 · answer #1 · answered by FKTS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have low self esteem too and a generally high need to be liked/loved, to please others. The thing I have found is that my true friends don't pressure me into things I do not want to do. I'm not saying she isn't a true friend, but maybe because of the problems she has she doesn't understand the kind of pressure she is putting on you.
I would recommend that you talk to her. Try to do it in a comfortable setting in a non confrontational way. It would be good to point out that you are her friend..and that you understand she has a lot going on..emphasize that you want to help her, but that some of the things she wants you to do make you uncomfortable.
It is likely that she does not realize the kind of pressure she puts on you. Being a caring person and a great friend is always an awesome thing, she is lucky to have you. Just don't let her pressure you anymore, no matter how difficult it is to refuse. In the end she will appreciate that you respected her enough to stand up to her, and cared enough to want to help.
2007-03-24 14:49:12 · answer #2 · answered by Ivy Pandora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it. I know it seems hard, but just try to turn off your thoughts for just a second and say whatever you want. Or you could think of how thankful you'll be after you've said no, and think of what bad things might come out of saying yes.
Try to be assertive, because even if your friend is in a bad situation in life, she doesn't have a right to control your life. If she takes it badly, tell her how much you don't want to do what she wants, tell her why, express how you feel about it. If she's emotional, she should be able to understand your emotions as well. =/
At least that's what I think.
2007-03-24 12:52:48 · answer #3 · answered by Koko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say theres alot of emotional kids like you out there,and forcing you to do something isn't gonna make her optimistic in like a second you can help her out of course shes your friend but not if you get an even more low self esteem in the making,maybe she just suffers from being sad and not entirely depressed
2007-03-24 12:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by Wee Snaw! =] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a person that asks you to do things you don't want to is not a friend. using emotional blackmail is not friendly either. try to stay away from them. if you can't, just say no. people with low self-esteem do what's asked of them because they need the approval of the person asking. do what's right for you and not the other person.
2007-03-24 12:54:42 · answer #5 · answered by wendy_da_goodlil_witch 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your friend is taking advantage of your vulnerabilty by using emotional blackmail . You cant really help someone else if u don't help yourself first. its alright to say no if you dont feel comfortable doing something, you wont be hurting anyone, but it will help you become emotionally stronger. that way you'll be able to please and look after the ones u love, but on your own terms
2007-03-24 13:18:04 · answer #6 · answered by lushpoppy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for people with low self-esteem as they get stepped on so often. the more they give, it's the more they are asked to give.
2007-03-24 13:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just tell your friend not this time..I just don't want to do it. Try telling your friend the truth how you feel like ifyour friend asked you to for example smoke 10 packs a day of cigs. Tell her/him no I really care about my body and this is for me if you want to smoke go head doesn't mean i have to smoke 10 packs of cigs a day..Hope i helped, gl!
2007-03-24 12:51:14 · answer #8 · answered by [[Adrianna]] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the friend. he/she is an emotional leech and will forever be draining your energy
2007-03-25 12:42:28 · answer #9 · answered by pingujones2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about it and explain your low self esteem. im sure she would understand. the thought of losing you as a friend would probably make her realize wat she is doing.
2007-03-24 13:10:27 · answer #10 · answered by karen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋