My best friend called me last night and told me her husband came to her and told her he wasn't happy anymore because she runs her mouth and questions him and has also put on some weight! He says he is a grown *ss man and should not have to be questioned about anything he does! they have been married 7 years and she has always been a woman that questions her man and he had told her for many years it bothers him so I can understand that part but the weight issue I don't! Can you please help me understand this situation and what advice I should give to my friend? He says he loves her but that they need to come to a mutual understanding of respect!
2007-03-24 05:24:59 · 12 answers · asked by lil mami 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Her husband feels she doesn't respect him - he wants a wife, not someone to be his mother. Suggest counseling.
2007-03-24 06:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is kind of called "balancing the playing field" in my opinion. He is tired of being questionned about his whereabouts, so he decides to strike back and say: "how about that weight problem of yours?" He just wants her to back off and one way to do that is point out that she has a weight "issue." He is hoping that will consume her thoughts rather than wondering where he is. Plus he has made it clear for quite awhile that he does not like it at all. Some folks have a very high tolerance for behavior they do not like with their mate...but when they have had enough, they have had enough. The "mutual respect" cannot be had if he keeps telling her he hates to be questioned by her, and she keeps doing it. He resorted to a desperate measure to get her to step back by making the weight comment, which was not cool IMO. Weight is an extremely touchy issue with all women. Your friend sounds a bit mistrustful, and therefore she is controlling him through the interrogation of his whereabouts. I mean if you do not give your partner freedom..what do you have in a realtionship? A relationship based upon neediness, expectation, and obligation. I think that is why 3 out of 4 marriages end in divorce or cheating.
2007-03-24 05:43:43 · answer #2 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He'd probably tolerate the weight thing if she wasn't a bossy chick who's always running her mouth and trying to boss a grown man around like she's his momma! But her mouth pushed him away - she needs to learn how to shut up and let her man be a man!!!!
2007-03-24 05:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The weight thing is a cheap shot. I think the nagging would be the real problem here. Questioning is one thing, doing it all the time is F'ing annoying. She needs to respect him too.
2007-03-24 05:33:21 · answer #4 · answered by guy o 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the woman he fell in love with isn't there anymore. Even after as little as seven years people can change drastically. It is a simple fact that people can fall out of love just as they fall in it.
2007-03-24 05:29:35 · answer #5 · answered by mopjky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should be forthcoming about his activities,
and - I don't understand what weight gain has to
with loving someone. He may be a grown man,
but he isn't acting it.
2007-03-24 05:30:41 · answer #6 · answered by HD 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why is that with men, that they still want submissive wives not questioning them? We live in the 21. century to cry it out loud, unless your friend was verbally abusive towards him, I don't get his point either.
Be there for your friend, but don't bash her hubby just to make her feeling better - eventually, they'll work it out and you'll be the bad ***** in the end, who tried to badmouth him.
2007-03-24 05:39:06 · answer #7 · answered by Chevrolet*Blazer*Girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stay completely out of it, it's never wise to get involved in other people's marital problems.
2007-03-24 05:30:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
stay out of it. tell her that you are there for her and will be there when you need her. its best not to give advice on marriage especially since you are not married
2007-03-24 05:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jahpson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should be able to question him w/o him getting mad
And if he really luved her he would'nt care what she loooked like
2007-03-24 05:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by babyblue2pie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋