Most recently I had an idea for a way to start my own business and she shot my idea down sayin she wanted me to "get a real job". She shoots down everything I try to do. Once I found this KISS DVD at Wal-Mart but she didn't want me to have it. But I went back another day and bought it and I have it hidden on top of the kitchen cabinet. Hell, she never even likes the shirts I pick out to wear when we go somewhere together. One day she may wake up and find that I'm not here to push around anymore. I didn't know marriage was a dictatorship. I used to think it was a partnership. Maybe it is for other people but not for me.
2007-03-24 04:37:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Put your foot down baby, you are being walked on.. First of all you should be able to make your own choices.. If you want to wear a multi yellow shirt with bright purple pants darn it do so.. (just remember it is not cute..lol..) If she dont back you up on the things you want then she may not love you as much as you think..She should always be on your side no matter what.. I have stood behind my husband on some of the dumbest things ever, but I dont say I told you so when it blows up... he wanted to golf, we went and spent 200 dollars on clubs that he took out one time, before he figured out he cant not do it.. and now they dont get touched, they collect dirt in the garage and look good doing so I guess...A marriage is not 50-50 it is 100-100, I know that dont add up, but why give only 50%.. when 100% makes damn sure the other partner is happy.. You need to put your foot down and tell her what you are going to do, dont let her buffalo you and go for it.. as for the Kiss DVD, well get that sucker out and watch it, and if she dont like it or the fact that you bought it.. Tell her well I dont like your new shoes and dont like that you bought them.. Good luck on this...
2007-03-24 04:56:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand why you are frustrated, but then again I can see where she is coming from a little. With this marriage being a partnership, she is probably thinking that she doesnt want to lose everything because your business doesnt work out. I think that she should not have said what she said, but the question is how did you present the business. You have to show her that you are really serious about this business and not just talking and going to waste your money. Do research, come up with a business plan that shows how you are going to market, where you are going to be located, staff size, equipement cost, projection of sales and gross income, funding....etc. As far as not liking what you wear and what you want to listen to.....maybe you need to talk to her about that. I know I used to get on my ex boyfriend about the things that he bought just because he was wasteful. He would buy something that he did not need and then wonder why he didnt have enough money to get the place that we wanted, or have money left over after the bills are paid, or have money to get his car fixed, or have money to start the business that he wanted to start. This may be what she is saying as well....I dont know. Try talking to her about it. Just ask her why is she always trying to tell you what to do. Ask her in a tone that shows that she is hurting your feelings, dont scream at her because you will not get any effective communication done. Good Luck!
2007-03-24 04:53:07 · answer #2 · answered by msnothinbutalady 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If this marriage is more than a few months old, it's time to wise up and realize that you two are going to either go round and round arguing for the rest of it or you will start hiding more and more of what you do in order to satisfy what you want and/or need in life.
If you feel like suffering through it from now on, go for it.
Otherwise, point out that this isn't working, offer to go to counseling WITH her, and, if that doesn't work or counseling is refused, it's time to separate peacefully, if possible, and move on.
I mean, if she honestly disregards almost everything you want or need it's not a marriage, it's a socially reinforced mechanism for her to get her way and probably whatever resources of yours she wants.
2007-03-24 05:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by Deathbunny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to school. Drop the baggage, get a life. When you feel like getting married again, go talk to a shrink. or go to Ft Lauderdale during spring break and find out what sex is. Do not get married again until you have degree in hand, business is thriving, and you actually have a female FRIEND who admires you. You'll not grow when the other person's favorite words are NO, CAN'T, HATE, KILL, STUPID, AND 'YOU ARE AN A**HOLE', don't be a jerk, get outa there.
2007-03-24 05:13:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd like to think you're a kid playing on Yahoo. But just in case you're not: Stand up for yourself. No one wants a doormat for a partner. And if you've turned into one, that is your fault, not hers.
Get the Kiss cd out and play it really loud, then grab her hand and dance around the kitchen in the shirt she likes the least.
As for the business idea, talk to your bank manager or someone who knows about these things. As it is, you're such a wimp I hope you can carry it through.
As it is, she sounds worn down with worry.
2007-03-24 04:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just get out of that coma.Be blissful she made an attempt to aid your selections despite the beyond. The beyond is over.She is watching ahead with you as a result her aid is so had to preserve at equal degree with you.Simply experience every different and nonetheless aid one a further and be joyful she continues to be there for you. I desire this has been handy relationally~ Yours real~ sissa~
2016-09-05 14:22:10 · answer #6 · answered by velo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing is to seek some counseling, first she has to be able to see what she is doing to the marriage, a therapist could make her see where things are going wrong. sounds as if she doesn't trust your judgment on things. it would help the marriage alot and change her attitude if u did get a job. i think having no job may be the big problem here.
2007-03-24 04:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to go to counseling, but i dont know how that will work if she does not let you make any decisions.At least suggest it if not then hit the road.Life is to short not to be happy, why waste it away in misery.Good luck
2007-03-24 04:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by wblueyesinvt35 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time to leave this chick! She's a big jerk, who gets off on belittling you! Dump her right away - move out, file for divorce, and move on with your life! Life is too short to be stuck with an emotional bully like her!
2007-03-24 04:40:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry.....it is supposed to be a partnership....try talking with her about your feelings and tell her what you like and don't like....maybe she just doesn't realize the effect she is having on you....good luck
2007-03-24 04:42:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋