Advice please?

Question

My sister is kinda sensitive, mean, rude and vain. She likes to think that she is more pretty than other people and said in my face that I'm ugly and dark, whilst she is pretty and fair. That's forgivable but she got worse wen she entered 13. she became not onlythe negative qualities above but also gossipy and stingy. i can't stand it. B'cos I'm not as attractive / socialable as her, I feel like an outcast and she insults me by my appearance. What should i do to shut her up without being mean or sarcastic? how should I even avoidher since we live in d same house and study in the sameschool? i don't wan people to know that we are sisters but our surname and "appearance"(we don't look alike at all but people say we do) gave it away. Please help me.

I had to put this up here cos berely any people would go to Family. So please don't type anything here unless it's the answer.

I told my perents about my sister's problem but they just ignore.

My sis is the prettiest girl in her class & she has the husky tone almost like Ashlee Simpson & people love her drawings not mine, people praise her anywhere she goes & greet her b4 me altough those people r MY FRIENDS!

Even my relatives r not as nice to me as to my sis.

Answer 1

It sounds like a lot of sibling rivalry to me.
Perhaps you have low self-esteem and that is why you are so affected by your sister's comments.
Just because she says she is prettier etc does not mean that everyone else thinks so!!! Infact, vanity is one of the most unattractive traits a person can have!
Don't let her comments worry you. She may not feel as secure about her looks as you think which is why she feels the need to put you down to make herself feel better.
Often sister's can go through a stage of feeling quite competitive of each other.
Just ignore her comments and focus on having a good image of yourself...
It will all pass and you may grow up to be a lot closer.

Answer 2

Hi,
If you have friends that you e-mail and you sis does not know about, ask them for advice. If you share the same room than that could be a problem. If you share a room with her ask your mom or dad if you can get your own room. If you have a Office you can divide the room in half 1 half for your room and the other half for the office.
To shut her up, just kindly say, "Can you please be quiet?" If you have your own room and you have a lock on your door, you can lock you door and/or put a sign hanging from your handle saying "Stay Out" and whatever else you want to say. You both still need to be sisters, even though you fight sometimes you need to forgive each other, take some time after a fight go to your room lock your door, and think, just think until you are ready to apologize. I have experience because I have 4 step siblings but I have only seen 2. They are both boys. They are like your sister, saying they are hansom and I am not pretty, I get over it doing to stuff I told you that you can do above. I used to think I was ugly, than my friend told me I wasn't. I am only 12 years old, but I know a lot about siblings. You can try to sit down with her and talk it though. Go to your parents and say: Can you come and help me talk to _____ because she is not being nice to me. Have them call your sister in the room with you. Try talking it over in the living room. Tell her why you feel sad and how you can fix it. Then let her give some suggustions. The converstion should last about 20-30 minutes. That should help you. Sorry if my answer does not help you.
God makes everyone pretty in thier own way. I think you are very very pretty.

Hope You Have A Nice Day,
<<<<<<<<<<(((Ms. Haines)))>>>>>>>>>>

P.S.- I hope this helps you, my sister is old enough to have kids, but she is my step sister.

Answer 3

HI
This is so hard my friend growing up she was Italian and had this problem. She had a fair older sister was in all the beauty pageants all the time winning and the younger darker sister with the Italian nose was my best friend. She had the same situation and what she did was made things her own that she was good at likes sports and art she excelled in them and she encourage me too, also her and her sister are real close now that was 20 years ago and she has no hard feeling because she found the things in her life that made her shine . So find something important to you and do it good and people will notice your talents even though your sis got the looks. And now it might not seem possible but when you get older you could be close to your sister too.
Lammy

Answer 4

Your sister may think she's pretty, but she sound's vary ugly to me.
people are going to see how mean,rude and vain she is and theire going to see her as ugly also.
and I'm not just saying this to make you feel good ,but I bet you are vary pretty and attractive and your sister knows it that's why she's trying to up-set you.
in other words she's afraid of you jealous of you babe! for being batter then her.

Don't stoop down to her level .
it's just an ugly game and she will feel like she's wining if she can get to you.
Just say okay, your right, thank you , ignore her, she's ignorant any way.
stay away from her as much as you can, and that will get her more then if you got in her face.
Sooner or later she's stop.
The gossip is also part of her game , soon people will gossip about her, what goes a round comes around.

be the nice one.
Nice wins over rude all the time and people will see that.
I don't even know you guys and I think she's ugly.
Good luck babe I know your going to do the right thing because it sounds like you have a hart.

Answer 5

Sweetie I had the same problem with my sister when we were young. It is a phase that will hopefully pass. Your sister might have a self esteem problem and use being mean or rude to try to boost her self esteem. You are not an outcast and don't ever think that. Everyone is different in their own way. I am afraid until she realizes that everyone is beautiful in their own way and her self esteem issues are gone, she might be a little insufferable. Just remember that you are just as beautiful as she is. Just try to ignore her when she goes into her rants or ravings. It might be a way for her to get attention as well. If you stop giving her the attention she might leave you alone.

Answer 6

Obviously she's not listening to you when you say you don't like her behavior towards you.So now it's time to take it a step further, don't think of this as tattling, but you need to tell your parents. That's what they're there for. Better yet, talk to her about this in front of them.
Go to your parents and say, I need you to come help me talk to ____. She's saying bad things about me and when I talk to her she won't listen,can you please help me. Then have them call her in and tell her exactly how the things she says and does hurts you and that it's gotten so bad that you don't even want to be around her anymore because of her behavior towards you.
If she listens and it helps great, if not your parents will now know what shes been doing to you and you can move on and not worry about what she has to say. As long as your happy with you, nothing else matters. You are not responsible for your sisters mean spirited behaviour and what she thinks has nothing to do with weither your a good person or not. You just keep doing the right thing. When she says something mean about you, don't stoop to her level and say mean things in return. Simply say, well that's your opinion, it has nothing to do with me, then just walk away. Once she notices that her comments don't get to you anymore she'll probably get frustrated and try to be even meaner to you. But keep acting like what she says makes no difference to you and she'll get tired of her hateful games and leave you alone.
You can't always change people, but you can choose not to let it get to you.
I hope this helps, good luck.

Answer 7

I'm the oldest of 4. I NEVER got along with my sister, she's 3 years younger. I'm now 25 and she's 22 and we still have our differences. The thing is you're BOTH beautiful in your own ways and you don't HAVE to get along. But you do have to be sisters. And no matter how rotten you are to eachother you'll always be there for eachother when it counts and as you get older you'll figure out how to make it work.

Answer 8

Hey i have a brother, but he sometimes is the same way. the only way to solve this problem is to ignore this sister. if she talks to you, act as if u didn't hear her. after a while she'll get annoyed and stop. also just keep on being nice to her, even if she gets on your nerves. she'll start being nice back because what goes around comes around. and if she really hurts u then talk to her make her be quiet first and tell her how you feel in a serious tone. u can also go to guidance or talk to and adult about this matter. they know everything and r the best at giving advice.

Answer 9

You must talk to your parents about this, I'm sure they have noticed you two don't get on but when it gets so bad that it constitutes bullying Adults need to step in.
Talk to your mum or Dad and ask whether they will mediate between the two of you to try and get some kind of solution to this and make life at home and school more bareable for you both.
Good luck and don't suffer, it can be solved.

Answer 10

sounds like your personality is far more attractive than hers !
and i would be willing to bet you are just as attractive as her too, but cos she has put it in your head that you are not then that is what you are continuing to believe. Being a teenager is hard with so many hormones flying around and pressure to be popular, it seems to me that your sister is quite insecure with herself and is trying to become popular but not realising that she is becoming the opposite, hopefully its just a stage she is going thru as we all have had at one stage or another! Me and my sis didnt get along very well as we grew up, but i wouldnt know what i would do without her now ! good luck !