Are you really in love if you cheated on your spouse?

Question

I've met soooo many people that have cheated on their wife/husband that say they love them, they just cant help themselves. I absolutley LOVE my wife and have never cheated on her. Is it possible to love someone and go sleep with someone else?

I'm gonna be honest and say that my sex life with my wife is pretty much nil. How would that give ME reason to go out and cheat if I am in LOVE with this awesome woman?

Answer 1

If it was TRUE love, you wouldn't want to be with anyone but your spouse.

Answer 2

yes you can. see, when you are married for a while, the excitment tends to go away. Doesnt mean you dont love the other person. There is lust, and that causes almost the same feelings as say, a roller coaster ride. It makes all the chemicals go crazy in the body. Like it is fun to be admired by someone else-it makes you feel good. Then say flirting-it is fun, because what could lead next. But when the big bang happens, usually all that fun ends. Because there is no where to go from there. Then you have to live with the guilt. But people get caught up in the "fun" feelings-which causes them to do things that they shouldnt.

It is all about emotions, and some can control them, some can not.

Answer 3

I would never cheat I have more respect for my wife and for myself. What cheats never want to admit is when you cheat it makes them a dishonest person the other thing is that cheaters all end up the same way......divorced....The only advice I will give you is this my friend.....Although your taking your wife's non sexual behavior ok for now time will catch up to you and over time because your wife isn't understanding her lack of sex and it's effect on you will become a thorn in your marrage. Your wife should be taking steps to find out why like seeing a doctor about it. There might be something that can be fixed easily. Sex makes a healthy marriage work

Answer 4

So if your wife loves you, why isn't she making sure your needs are met? Sounds like a one way street to me.

But back to the heart of your question, cheating is just breaking the rules. Sure, sometimes breaking the rules can get you disqualified, but it doesn't mean you love the game any less. And sometimes a minor violation of the rules can be a strategy. Like in basketball, a player might foul another player if he knows that the foul shot will be missed to avoid a obvious opening, or throw a ball out of bounds if he can't find an opening and is about to loose the ball.

My wife is never more attentive and anxious about sex as when another girl wants me. My wife can get very ho-hum about sex in general, and then another girl will be talking to me while I'm fetching our dog, or a girl at work will flirt with me, and suddenly my wife can't keep her hands off me. So, yeah, sometimes I flirt back just a little, to get girls to flirt with me a little more, so my wife will want me. Does my wife like it. She says she doesn't really mind, but I know how it makes me feel if she flirts a little with another guy. I go nuts and want to rip his lungs out. Is it cheating? Maybe. But my wife needs the extra challenge of having to compete for me to stay interested. (I don't need any more challenge than what happens when she walks down the street... I have enough guys to chase off without her making the situation worse.)

And like I said above, if your wife loved you, I think she would try to make sure your needs were met. That's what love is: putting someone before yourself.

But if she's not able to for some medical reason, that's more understandable. But my wife has said to me that if she weren't able to permanantly for a medical reason, she'd give me the freedom to make sure my needs were met. She loves me. She doesn't want me to be humiliated in front of my friends who talk about thier wild sex lives. I laugh at my single friends who talk about their wild ways, and say, "Yeah, my wife and I do that twice a week. And if you think that's hot... try..." That's how much my wife loves me. And I've literally put my life on the line for her. That's how much I love her. When she asked why I did it and said I could have died, my answer was simply, "If it came to it, better me than you."

Answer 5

Yes, you can love your spouse and still have sex with someone else. You can love your spouse dearly, but if that feeling of "being in love" is not there or if those needs for intimacy and sexual fulfillment are not there-burning lust for fulfillment can take over and cause temptation to scratch the itch for fulfillment of needs that are just not being met at home. I'm not saying it's justified, I'm just saying that the temptation can be there no matter how much you love the other.

Answer 6

I think sometimes you really need to love a person a lot to don't cheated on her/he but some times you don't wanted to cheated but still did . for me if you really love a person love it with respect . sometimes friends tell you to cheated on your wife or husband and with all the precaution you do. but one time change your relationship with your wife/husband and your family forever...

Answer 7

I believe you can only make love to one person but you can have sex with many. If you're sex life is nil, maybe your wife is playing behind your back, or she's not into you anymore.

Answer 8

The word love is really thrown around. If you truly love someone you do not cheat!

Answer 9

sumtimes lust overpowers love which is why ppl cheat
be in love and in lust with the same person and u dont need to cheat
loving someone truly is also lusting after them so ppl tht cheat love their wives sure but they do not lust after them they need to find tht balance in their spouses because cheating is never ok

Answer 10

Yes it is. Sometimes we need a piece of strange to keep things interested at home. Unless you have a guilty conscientious, as long as you keep your mouth shut, NO ONE will ever know. Just make sure your not hooking up with someone looking for a relationship or your gonna throw a wrench in your plans of knocking down some strange.