Been engaged about a year and were planning to go to pre-marital counseling before setting date (second marriage for both of us). Noticed something "missing". No affairs or anything related to that. There does seem to be criteria for depression. He admits that but does not seem motivated to do anything for it (Dr, meds, positive activiites) and instead watches TV every night and falls asleep on couch. We decided to call it splits (I am not going to wait on the sidelines-I have a lot o good qualities to share with another). It is hard not to take it personal but I know this is common with major depressive disorder and other types of depressive episodes. Why is it that some people are motivated to make a once healthy and productive relationship work and others are not. I guess it goes back to the depression, as well as the baggage from prior marriage (and his kids). Frustrating!
2007-03-24 02:38:33 · 13 answers · asked by bjh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good choice to move on. What you are describing is a preview of the rest of your life.
2007-03-24 03:23:31 · answer #1 · answered by Li 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, from personal experience, the meds can make it worse. Of course, these sorts of things are not reported in the media unless it's someone who got worse and off themselves or someone else, but trying to get help is sometimes worse than actually getting help. You can wait it out, maybe he's like me and it'll only last a few months or you can encourage him to get help or decide you don't want someone who's depressed and move on.
2007-03-24 03:15:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he see there is a problem? I'm sure you love him and all, but like you said " don't wait in the side lines" it can only get worse....He needs to address his depression with a doctor to have a healthy life.. depression can ruin everything, sounds like it already is...
2007-03-24 02:44:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you decided to leave him, then it's not your problem anymore, right? isn't that what you wanted to hear? i personally think you were a little selfish. there has to be more signs than just watching TV and falling asleep on the couch every night. hell, most husbands do that! my husband loves to watch TV. he might just be lazy. did you try to push the pre-marital counseling? or just leave him to become more depressed? good job! it doesn't seem as though you cared about him.
2007-03-24 02:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Move on honey. Trust me. Whether he's depressed or just lost interest in you, he's not into fulfilling the relationship and thats a bad deal on all counts.
2007-03-24 02:42:49 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is depressed!!! One of the symptoms of depression is lack of motivation. Did you try to help him with his problems? It would be hard for him to try and make you relationship work when he is feeling like crap, it is nice that you were so caring and thoughtful.
2007-03-24 02:43:31 · answer #6 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It kinda sucks for sure...but look on the bright side...at least you didn't get married add more kids to the mix and then find out. Did you know more 2nd marriages fail than first?? Sucks...but once your on your third...your fine:)giggle
Good luck to you.
2007-03-24 02:43:43 · answer #7 · answered by ste.phunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are ready to deal with their issues, others are not. Mental illness is a very serious problem, he may need somebody to help him and you just walked off.
2007-03-24 02:44:38 · answer #8 · answered by guy o 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marry him. Every woman who takes a scumbag off the street deserves a Nobel Prize, in my book.
Thanks!!!
.
2007-03-24 02:42:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
that's difficult for you
2007-03-24 03:12:32 · answer #10 · answered by whitesilk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋